My birthday has come and gone and now I find myself in my late thirties. And guess what? Nothing happened. I didn’t instantly become a cat lady spending my nights alone watching sappy romantic comedies, eating my feelings, stuffing my face with dark chocolate and dreaming of my future husband. You see, I didn’t become one of those because I have always been one. Minus the cats. I’m allergic or I know I would have them too. Haven’t you seen those YouTube videos? They are so cute.
For my birthday present I have decided to take a 10-day trip to England with one of my best friends. I am sure you have guessed, with all my references to Jane Austen, I am quite an anglophile. What better a place to look for British Boys than in England. (What did you think I meant by BB? Get your mind out of the gutters!)
My friend Kate and I have spent the last month or so planning our jaunt through the English countryside. I even told her that while in London, I might go to a bathhouse. Believe it or not, I have never been to one before. Even if I do go, I am unsure if I will participate in anything. For me I always have to tell someone that I am poz before we engage in anything remotely sexual. Of course my disclosure might be quite the mood killer when faced with a room full of half naked men, wanting things a little less complicated, but who knows. I’m sure if I do go, you guys will be the first to know.
Back to BBs. Sometimes I forget that I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and that there is quite a population of the Brits in my fair city. Recently, I started chatting with a British Boy on Grindr. He was my age, blonde, and very cute. Now I have this problem when I start talking to someone from England; I immediately have to tell them everything I know about their country. This can take hours. After I went through the litany of my knowledge of his homeland we found out that we actually chatted a while back on OkCupid.
We chatted off and on for the next two days on three different social applications and not just about British culture. Finally I asked him if we should continue this conversation in person and he agreed. He suggested that I come over to his place and we could watch the BBC. Be still my heart.
When we were making our arrangements, I figured I should disclose my status to him. He didn’t make a big deal about it and still invited me over. Great. The next night I brought over two bottles of wine and got prepared for BBC with my BB.
On my way to his apartment, my overactive brain was in overdrive dreaming of my soon to be dual citizenship. As soon as I entered his apartment, he handed me a drink and we sat on his couch and just started to talk. We talked for hours about everything. Somewhere in the midst of our conversation he started smoking. He asked me if it bothered me and I said no… Which is true to a point. Then I realized that he would smoke whenever he had a drink in his hand - and he always had a drink in his hand. Through the fog I was able to see that he was charming and smart - not to mention he was extremely cute.
In our conversations he revealed to me that he had lied on his profile. He was over forty. Age isn’t a big deal to me and we even had a great conversation about the stigma turning forty can have. This brought us to a conversation about the stigma around HIV. These days, I find it is very easy for me to get on a soapbox about this subject.
After another bottle of wine and a little more BBC it was time for me to go home. We kissed, hugged and said our goodbyes.
Then as I was walking to my apartment, I got this text:
“Was a nice evening actually. Nice guy…got along well. Still pretty unsure that I’d be able to deal with the HIV stuff but would see him again.”
Now, I have mistakenly sent texts to the wrong person before, but this was an epic fail. At first I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel, but then I just started to laugh.
So, I emulated my favorite BBs and responded as cheeky as I could:
“I’m assuming this was meant for someone else. Just tell your friend, the one who that text was intended for, that I feel the same way except that I don’t know how I feel about someone who lies about their age and who smokes like a chimney.”