Articles tagged with: love sex and relationships

Be careful what you ask for

published: April, 30, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Our Positively Dating goes sporty – and meets the incredibly handsome Brad. But does he drop the ball?

Be careful what you ask for

Recently I was invited to my friend Mike’s birthday celebration. He decided that he wanted to relive his childhood. For him that meant renting a soccer field at the local sports complex. For Soccer? No, for dodge ball. That’s right, dodge ball.  Imagine, if you will, a soccer field filled with roughly fifteen gay men reliving their junior high gym class nightmares. We rocked out to Taylor Dayne, Michael Jackson, and Madonna and to top it off, some of us took the 80s reference to the

Collision: sex, love, and pain as I near 30

published: April, 24, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Josh Kruger: “I have no other option than moving forward, both sexually and emotionally.”

Whether it’s the miserable weather in Philadelphia right now or it’s the fact that I feel like I’m rapidly approaching that point in my life where I’m about to become a solidly single adult man without any prospect of getting married “young,” I am in a contemplative mood about my own sexuality, romantic attachments (or lack thereof), and my own mortality. Certainly, I recognize that this might sound histrionic or hysterical; after all, by all estimates, I have a solid forty years a

HIV disclosure kind of sucks, but it’s ethical

published: April, 17, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Health, Sexual Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Josh Kruger: "the longer I’ve been HIV+, the more traditional and, admittedly, boring I have become in relation to my sex and dating.”

When I first was diagnosed as HIV+, I remember being thankful for all the infrastructure in place to help me ensure that I wasn’t going to die of AIDS.  Whether it was through Philadelphia’s AIDS Activities Coordination Office or my initial visits to Philadelphia FIGHT, I received a care and attention that, just a decade or two ago, would be considered remarkable.  And, thanks to scientific advancements by pharmaceutical companies like Gilead, in part because of the United States governm

No sex please, you’re Asian

published: April, 15, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Population Specific

Chistopher Banks on the difficulties Asian gay men can face on the dating scene - and how one Asian man succeeded.

Originally from Malaysia, Ivan Yeo is a gay Chinese man now living in New Zealand.  Ivan Yeo learnt soon after his arrival in New Zealand that he was not going to be a hot item in the gay world.  A friend told him. “He told me there was a hierarchy of being gay, what colour plays on the top and which one is the lower.  Unless you’re white, young, blonde, then you’ll be the top line of meat,” he laughs.  “Being Asian is down in the food chain, and he said I’d most likely end u

Pollyanna – or – can't we all just get along?

published: April, 02, 2013 Categories // Gay Men, Health, Sexual Health, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Ken Monteith was rattled from both sides by a recent article, and the reactions to it, from Michael Burtch about serodiscordant sex. He takes to his keyboard to rattle back, as calmly as possible.

Pollyanna – or – can't we all just get along?

Read Michael Burtch's article (My Relationship Status) - and comments - here. I'm a gay man of a certain age. My experience with HIV in my community goes back to the beginning, even if my awareness of my own infection does not. I was there as we learned from the first reports that something was going very wrong and that – given apparent indifference on the part of many, but not all, authorities – the community had to do something about it. I have watched friends die. This long history has

You can’t predict the future

published: April, 01, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific

Christopher Banks on approaching men whom we find attractive, and how we sometimes scratch ourself from the race for no good reason.

The party: Code Black. The mood: boisterous, fun, and sexually-charged. The rules: wear leather. And be happy.  Admittedly, happiness wasn’t so much of a rule as a given: why would you stay if you weren’t having fun? The time is midnight, and my friend Jonathan is experiencing that wonderfully seasick moment of depression where you feel alone in a roomful of people you know. The bigger the crowd, the louder the solitude. He treads water on the dancefloor, aware of his sinking mood li

Rules of the Game

published: March, 26, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Positively Dating asks himself if he can really date someone who loves Celine Dion - or break any of his other rules of dating?

Rules of the Game

As we try to maneuver through this dangerous sport we call dating, we all create rules for ourselves. Rules that help us define the guys we will date. Rules that help us to know when is the appropriate time to reveal our status. And even rules that help us when pants are down, literally. Those same rules that can save us can also hinder us.  As you may have noticed, I have fallen off the map. There are various reasons for this, but the main culprit is that I just wasn’t dating. This was no

My relationship status

published: March, 26, 2013 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Revolving Door, Living with HIV, Guest Authors, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Writer Michael Burtch suggests sex and fear can be both illogical and valid at the same time in this exclusive preview from Issue Three of Up & Cumming Magazine.

My relationship status

I leaned my chest against a door in his apartment and slid my jeans and briefs down over my ass and presented my hole to him. “Fuck me” I whispered. My boyfriend didn’t move towards me. “I want to feel you inside me with no condom. Fuck me,” I repeated. “No,” he softly said back. “Don’t ever ask me that again.” He walked away from me, angry. I stood there silently for a moment and then slowly pulled up my pants. We didn’t have sex for a long time after that. My partner

I took my ego to a gay bar

published: March, 04, 2013 Categories // Dating, Aging, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Dave's big adventure: "with HIV, sometimes you have to grab life by the horns and face it head on. However, low self-confidence levels can take you one step forward and two steps back. The trick is not letting the bastards grind you down.

I took my ego to a gay bar

I don’t know what possessed me but it was a Friday night and I’d been stuck inside for what seemed the whole winter. I had a severe case of cabin fever and had to get out. It was nine thirty in the evening; a time when I’m normally fixated on the box and longing for my bed because the feet are playing me up and I feel like crap. Then out of nowhere came this urge to go out and meet people - gay people. There was another motive. I’d been contacted via the internet by an attractive man

Up and down

published: February, 19, 2013 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Jack Frost thinks about returning to work full time – and about dating guys who don’t turn you on.

The last few weeks have been exhausting. My mood has been constantly up and down. One day I feel happy go lucky, have a positive outlook on life, and then the next day I wake up hating the world. It’s like I’m on a constant roller coaster ride. It drains my energy and I end up sleeping a lot of hours.  This blog post will probably be all over the place - just like my mood. Hop in, buckle up and hold on, folks.  I think part of it has to do with my anxiety about returning to work full ti

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