A year ago today I started writing for PositiveLite.com with an article called, “Husband and Husband”. In that article, I talked about my wedding to my now husband Denis. I talked about the importance of using the term “husband” within a LGBT context. My intention was to educate people about the recent marriage equality developments in New York State.
Twelve months have gone by and writing for PositiveLite.com has become one of the most healing and cathartic experiences of my life.
I can’t tell you how many times, in the process of writing an article, I have discovered things about myself. Reactions to different subjects, opinions that have changed, and most importantly, I discovered many places in my heart that needed healing. I’ve discovered a new me, that a year ago, was full of untold stories that now have been shared with many, many people all over the world. I managed to assemble pieces of myself that with a lot of pride, I have made public.
Why did I do this? The answer is simple. I did it out of empathy for those who somehow, somewhere, are sharing my journey with HIV and Inclusion Body Myositis, among other medical conditions.
I have been wheelchair bound for four years. The process of accepting that fact was not easy but I have finally found a way to accept my disability by sharing my journey with others.
I must thank (PositiveLite.com editor) Bob Leahy for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. It’s the story of a fighter who is very much aware of the daily challenges in life. It’s the story of a simple man, with very deep concerns about what can he do to try to heal this world.
By sharing my journey, I have found that I can clarify concepts in my head that before, were tangled up in the shadows of denial, fear, guilt and many other human excuses that make us waste precious time on this earth. Sometimes I found myself drowning in my own personal conflicts related to my health struggles. Other times, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel through the process of writing.
A year ago, when Bob offered me the opportunity to write for PositiveLite.com, I was overwhelmed with emotion. He was giving me a voice, a voice that was living quietly somewhere inside of me. I discovered my scared child and fed him hope and courage until he was ready to call himself a story teller. By doing this, my life has changed dramatically. I discovered hidden truths, false negative recordings in my soul and most importantly, a tool to deal with all of those challenges related to the process of discovering my most intimate secrets and concerns.
Writing healed my inner loneliness, my fears related to my now visible deterioration of my physical body. Through writing, I discovered that healing starts deep inside, in the dark corner where the hurt child still weeps and on the mountain tops where the man stands proudly and tall.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to heal in front of others and share the hidden me, in a way that would have been impossible before submerging myself in a positive light.
If you are a person living with HIV and would like to write for us, please contact the editor, Bob Leahy at