For anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis (or tries to), I want to apologize for a lack of posts. I haven’t been writing because, to be honest, I haven’t been certain what I should write about.
When I was first diagnosed, life was a whirlwind. Wasn’t sure what was coming next, what to do, how to feel, the list goes on. Over the past year and a bit, obviously things have come under control. I’ve got my doctor, my treatment, and my health is good. I’m also continuing to work on my mental health, but that continues to be a long journey. Sometimes I get frustrated over how long of a journey that is, but we’re getting there. Trauma isn’t exactly easily overcome.
How I feel about this blog
I feel like I’ve told my story. I’ve shared some of the dark days, some of the good days and all the in between. Now, things are stable. I take my pill, I go on about my life. The people who need to know, know, and the rest of the world can live in an ignorant bliss about something that they really don’t need to know.
I feel like continuing this blog in its present form would be a bit of a betrayal of how I feel. To keep blogging the personal side is to make HIV a bigger part of my life than it is now. It’s not as scary, not as heavy and not as top of mind as it once was. Is it still a serious condition? Of course. I would never seek to minimize the virus; but it has never and will never define me.
So what’s next?
I don’t know entirely, but I have an idea. I want to keep this blog, because I see from the stats, the comments and the emails I receive that it is an important resource. But I think perhaps it needs to be more broad – less about me, and more about HIV in general: research advancements, new treatments, and (if people were willing to share) other stories of people like me (or not like me!). I think my story has been told, and the next phase of my life is about to begin.
So, I’m not going away. I’ll continue to post – but it will have a different flavour to it. This is the best decision, and I hope those who read regularly will continue to do so.
In the coming days and weeks, find out how you can tell your story. Whether you were recently diagnosed, or have lived with HIV for years, or are doing work in the field of HIV/AIDS, feel free to reach out.
I also want to hear from you – what kinds of things do you want to see here now?
A quick note of thanks
From the personal side, I want to thank the many people who read and reach out to me. I had a great deal of support in my series about my past relationship, and have also had wonderfully supportive comments for talking about the mental health aspect. Those comments mean a great deal to me – not because they are full of praise, but because they remind me that there are others who have similar experiences. If this blog has helped in any tiny way, I will always be grateful for that.
I’m not going anywhere, but I think a new focus will be fun, exciting and more engaging. I hope you’ll stick around for the journey!
This article originally appeared on Josh’s own blog The Plus Side of Life here.