She is a divorced woman raising a teenaged daughter, and was barely aware of a “gay community” until she stepped tentatively out of the closet in midlife. She has a quiet and soft-spoken grace. She has manners. She readily burdens the blame if it means saving your feelings. She’s one of those people who apologize when I miss a turn while driving us somewhere, as if it must have been her fault. 

When she walked into an audition for a play I was directing a few years ago, she was certain she wasn’t good enough, but her insecurity was unacceptable to her – the struggle between her ferocious talent and her painful modesty has been waged her entire life – and she gave an audition of such humanity and pathos that I changed the script I had written to showcase her gifts.

“Stand slightly more to your left,” I would ask as we rehearsed. “I’m sorry,” would be the reply, to that or to any request or observation, including the weather. How could a creature of such obvious worth have such an absence of ego? I often wondered, before immediately returning to other, more important thoughts. About myself.

Two months later her performance was the kind that required the audience to listen closely, and they leaned in, drawn to her in the same way I was throughout the rehearsal process. She broke their hearts with such deliberate precision that people still speak of it.

Lynne doesn’t like talking about herself. But oh, how she loves to hear stories from Mark, and that’s when our budding friendship began to make sense to me. For hours I blather on, towering over her small frame, fluffing the curls on her head below me as she indulges my excesses and wonders when I will take my hands out of her hair. Please. I’m sorry.

I am the closest friend she has ever known to have HIV. Her personal knowledge of the crisis was largely limited to watching it unfold on television and thinking that people treated “that young boy Ryan White really badly.” So our friendship has meant lessons for her on t-cells, viral loads and why my medication bag is the same size as my gym bag. She listens and learns, and no longer believes that she must keep her distance when she has a cold or else I could die.

She has now had conversations with her daughter about safer sex, and then for good measure had the same conversation with her daughter’s boyfriend.

When the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) asked me to participate in their new campaign, “Let’s Stop HIV Together,” I was impressed with their concept of pairing people living with HIV with an HIV negative member of their support system. The message is clear: we all share a responsibility for curbing HIV infections and supporting each other, positive and negative. And I knew right away who my “negative” would be.

Lynne was flattered and then questioned my selection, certain I must have better options. I knew that the woman who modeled humility to me every day was my only choice, and I insisted. The campaign involved visiting a production facility complete with wardrobe decisions, make-up artists, a photo shoot and an interview on video with both of us. She felt like the Queen of Sheba. Watching her was the very best part of the day, and the memory of it has brightened many days since.

In the photo of us, my cocksure grin and her enveloping embrace are the very essence of a friendship that I treasure deeply today. Seeing it in print has also brought to mind the many friends that came before Lynne who are now lost. But Lynne is not a placeholder and she is not a substitute. She is a gift of my survival, and the right friend at the right time to help me conduct my advancing years with more maturity than I might muster alone.

Moments after the photo was taken, Lynne slipped from the box on which she was standing and fell hard. Several of us rushed to her to help, but she didn’t fret or make a sound. That is, except to say “I’m sorry.”

After a few days of pain, Lynne visited the doctor and discovered her foot was broken. “Why didn’t you say something?” I asked her, disbelieving, when she admitted it was hurting that day during our video interview. “Because I was afraid they might stop,” she said, “and I was having so much fun being with you.”

Much has been written by me about the “viral divide” between those who are HIV positive and those who are not. But not today. Today, the CDC has a new campaign with hopes of bridging this divide. On one of their posters, Lynne Rhys is beaming beside me, luxuriating in the joy of friendship, and confident that she is right where she belongs.

And she doesn’t look the least bit sorry.

Mark 

(My thanks to the good people at the CDC’s Division of HIV/AIDS for their work on this campaign. Please visit the Let’s Stop HIV Together site, where you can watch videos from other pairings, download posters and other materials, watch the public service announcement, or “like” the Facebook page.)

This article first appeared in Mark’s own journal, My Fabulous Disease, here.  

There has been a lot of news lately about the decision of the Food and Drug Administration in the USA to approve the OraQuick Advance ® test for HIV 1 & 2. This is the test that uses a saliva sample gathered with a rather quick and easy swipe of the collector along the gums, top and bottom, rather than the two drops of blood that were required for the E-Z Trust HIV 1 & 2 Rapid Test that you can read about and watch in a previous article here on PositiveLite.com). 

Consumer product comparison 

Let's do the product comparison first. The collection of the saliva was really quick and easy. I say this having conducted a blood-based test (where I had a little difficulty making myself bleed enough to collect the two drops, as well as collecting the drops in the little plastic pipette) and having tried out a different saliva-based test involving a sponge saliva collector that you had to keep in your mouth for many minutes, which was icky (to use the scientific term). If you have any problems with blood (seeing it, making it come out of your finger, etc.), the saliva way is probably the one you want to take. 

The big difference between the E-Z Trust and the OraQuick for me was the waiting time for the development of the result, and maybe the clarity of the result itself. The E-Z Trust one revealed the result within minutes — I think it was clear after about 5 minutes rather than the promised 10 — while the OraQuick really took 15 minutes (versus its promised 20). The additional tension was that the swab/test stick seemed like it was going to tip over the little plastic vial of revealing solution, which would have been awful, so I ended up holding for the whole 15 minutes, ugh! I understand that the kit they are preparing for sale is a little more consumer-friendly, a little box with a lovely multi-colour pamphlet and something to hold the vial upright while the result is developing. 

The Critiques of Home Testing…and maybe some responses 

A pamphlet is not a counsellor, it is true. I still firmly believe that the first time someone has an HIV test, s/he should get the Cadillac counselling treatment, with full information about advantages and disadvantages and an exploration of the risk that might have brought the person to the point of testing. After the first time, we might all be wasting our time with large parts of the counselling, unless the person has truly forgotten the important elements or something new has arisen about which testers should be informed. Frequent testers probably don't need the repetition and we might want to explore whether this is a disincentive. An additional critique: the pamphlet that came with this test had some dire warnings about French kissing and HIV, which I just found bizarre and which kind of put its credibility as a source of risk information in question for me. 

Understanding the result might be another point of contention. No, not the "one line versus two line" result (that's pretty clear), but understanding that it is a test for antibodies, which take time to develop after infection, and there are no 100% accurate tests in science. There will always be less than perfect sensitivity (correctly identifying people who do have HIV, versus false negatives) and specificity (correctly identifying people who do not have HIV, versus false positives). The FDA reports that the OraQuick's sensitivity is 99.3% and its specificity is 99.8%/  The manufacturer of the E-Z Trust test claims that comparisons conducted with 63 samples showed 100% sensitivity and 100% specificity, which I would have a little problem accepting, given my "there is no 100%" assertion, but I would accept that it is likely quite high on both counts. I think it is possible to explain these things to people in language they can understand. 

Quality control could become an issue, but mostly if the tests are not approved (and therefore subject to quality control measures in your particular jurisdiction) and people start obtaining them from sources that might not be as reliable. We got ours — in both cases — through the mail after ordering them on the internet, so the fact that Health Canada might not have approved them is not really stopping them from coming into the country, at least not in small quantities. 

A much bigger question in Canada seems to be who is qualified to carry out the test. The drawing of blood is generally considered a medical act and reserved to certain health care professionals (doctors, nurses). In France, there has been an exception made to allow trained community workers to conduct the rapid test with pin-prick blood collection, but that is still not the reality anywhere else that I am aware of. Now the US is making it possible for people to test themselves, which is really the ultimate in empowerment. We just have to be able to ensure that people aren't going to be forced to take an HIV test against their will by someone who has some kind of coercive power over them. 

A very valid concern, in my opinion, is that of ensuring a connection to care after the test. If you buy it off the shelf and do it at home, who is going to be there after the result to offer support or appropriate medical care? This is the real weakness of the home testing approach, but some effort and collaboration might ensure that contact information for appropriate medical follow-up is included with every kit sold, and that such services are made available. The first time around on this question, I suggested making the test available by prescription, ensuring that a first contact with the prescriber would be assured, suggesting a path to follow-up. I wonder now if that wouldn't exclude some of the most marginalized people who really might get the most benefit from easier access to testing. If we can interest people in testing and then make it possible for those people to have easy access to follow-up care, we will have taken a giant step forward in ending HIV/AIDS, and isn't that what we're all interested in doing? 

Have a look at my self-test with the OraQuick . . .  

I don’t live in Toronto anymore.  I used to for many years until my partner and I moved to the country about sixteen years ago.  It wasn’t that we didn’t like Toronto, we did – and still do.  We moved away in part for the peace and quiet, the lack of crowds.  We live, literally, in the middle of nowhere now, not another sign of civilization in sight.  At night, you can hear a pin drop.  So to come to Toronto on  a day like this is kind of jarring, but in an entirely good way.  I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

What more can one say?  It’s been two weeks now, and the memories are as hot and sweaty as ever.  (Boy, was that a hot day, standing out in the sun!) But we can forget the politics now, at least for another year, and just celebrate the visuals, the good vibes, the togetherness.  Hopefully you get a sense of all these things here.

Filmed and edited by Guy McLoughlin. Thanks Guy!

For Part One of our video coverage, where we asked Pride-goers “what does Pride mean to you?”, go here. 

For our photo coverage, go here. 

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that ads like the first one below are designed to appeal directly to the gay market.  But straight men wear jeans too, we hear, and one wonders to what extent savvy marketers appeal to their inner homo. Or alternatively, risk their cold shoulder.

Does too gay an ad would turn uber-straight buyers off? No way would some buy a product that looks – well – gay.  Metrosexuals on the other hand– and this writer suspects that’s a growing market  - don’t really care.

Anyway, this one from Bench Jeans doesn’t beat around the bush.  I mean, this could be the intro to a gay porn movie quite easily. But mainstream advertizing, as this series of posts attempts to illustrate, often flirts with the world of adult films, We have featured examples of that porn-based advertizing here and here. And let’s face it, what’s not to like?

What’s also interesting about this one is that it has no faceless actor but features a bona fide star -  film and televison actor, singer, model Piolo Pascual.  He may be a stranger to western audiences but in the Philippines he is  huge.

There have been rumours for years that this once-married movie star is gay. In fact if there was  a Philippines National Enquirer he would be resident on the front page.  He lives with his mother. But Pascual recently said this: “'I’d probably admit I’m a mama’s boy. If people say I’m effeminate, then that’s okay because that’s the way my mom brought me up. But she also brought me up to be independent, focused and spiritual. I know myself and I know I’m not gay.”

He sounds a lot like pre-coming-out Ricky Martin. But honestly it doesn’t really matter whether he’s gay or not, although I would be offended if he was lying about it But what I like here is an ad which features a hot-looking guy with gay eye candy appeal, played by somebody who everybody says is gay in an ad clearly appealing to a gay audience channeling a gay porn ambience. Now how gay is that?

Incidentally, US based Bench clearly has their eyes on the pinoy market. There is even a Bench brand just for pinoy men and women  called Pinoy Lab.

Anyway, here’s the ad.  We’re also showing the old classic Prison Shower Scene, form Stocker Jeans, which, besides being funny,  has gay appeal in spades, just in case there are readers out there who have never seen it.

And once again, depending on where you work, this may be wandering in to NSFW territory.

Music makes life easier, wherever you are.

In Zimbabwe as well. HIV/AIDS is widespread in this country: Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) is currently treating over 34,000 patients, including many children and teenagers. Zimbabweans use music to educate people about the virus, to explain to patients and their families that they’re not alone, that treatment can stabilise the illness and that the stigma must be broken.

Support group choirs, largely made up of Zimbabweans who are already in treatment, are a shining example of an open, positive approach to HIV/AIDS. Their songs, melodies and rhythms are about the strength that comes from unity and about treatment giving them a future and a life ahead. 

Led by Alejandro Sanz and producer and composer Javier Limón, a group of Spanish and international artists have drawn upon Zimbabwe’s music and choirs to come up with Positive Generation. It is an outstanding feat of musical fusion in which talents and rhythms from all four corners of the world make an innovative set of unique pieces about a commitment to support, survive and fight, and about the will to live and work together to make sure that all those who need treatment get it.

You can find out more about the project here. 

You can’t help but like Francisco Ibáñez-Carrasco.  He is a handsome silvered-haired dynamo, a Latino through and through, who is enthusiastic about everything he touches, even about being alive.  Clearly Francisco loves life and that comes through in the interview which follows.

Not that his life has been an easy one.  Born in Chile forty-eight years ago, he was,  according to his 2011 profile in CATIE’s The Positive Side “raised by a poor, single mother who earned her living cleaning rich people’s houses. As a child he was molested by Catholic priests, and as a teenager he traded sex for cash. “I get along with people with an edge, with difficult lives,” he says, “because I see myself reflected in them.”"

Francisco came to Canada in 1985; within months he was diagnosed with HIV.  Says CATIE “Most of the friends he arrived with in Vancouver moved on to New York City, which was “kind of a gay Mecca in our imaginations,” he says. “We were all young gay men who didn’t know anything about AIDS. We all got infected and they all died. Some of them died of HIV-related complications; some of them died undocumented. So, yeah, there’s a trail of dead people behind me, whom I honour, of course, all the time.”"

Francisco himself was diagnosed with Kaposi’s  Sarcoma back then, its  spots covering most of his body. He saw first one and then a second partner die of AIDS-related complications. But like many others he was saved from the jaws of death by the protease inhibitors which surfaced in 1996.

Meanwhile he had been pursuing higher education at B.C.’s Simon Fraser University where he eventually earned his Ph. D in 1999 – one of the first Canadians with HIV to earn a doctoral degree. His focus since has been on research on HIV and rehabilitation and, latterly, in the training of new researchers in the field of HIV. Resident at the OHTN (Ontario HIV Treatment Network) in Toronto, he has been Program Manager of Universities Without Walls.  Just recently he has been appointed the OHTN’s Director of Education and Training.

As you’ll see, Francisco is a lively and engaging interview subject.  For this interview I asked him the questions off camera with those questions edited out, allowing Francisco’s responses to shine through.

Videography by Guy McLoughlin

Photo by Bob Leahy