(This piece is best read in conjunction with Michael’s earlier entry about the work Andrew Gayed featured him in here.)  

Can you talk about the process and camera you used to construct ‘4 Pills Once Daily‘?

Supplementary research was made to have a better understanding of the issue. I had an idea of what the series would look like, so I took some initial photos with a 'stand-in' model to decide various compositional elements. Then I interviewed my model to gage a personal account of his overall struggle with HIV, and the stigma associated with it. The recorded audio from the interview was then edited to create a loop that would be played while exhibiting the piece. As for the photos themselves, I shot the series using an old 120 medium-format film camera. This gives richness to the photos, especially when seeing the highly detailed 42x42 inch digital prints that came from a 6cm film negative."

What was it about HIV-stigma that made you want to explore it, particularly in such a challenging manner?

Well, my bodies of work focus on questioning the hetero-normative adaptation in society and the gender dynamics within that. Now, this leaves me with a lot of wiggle room to explore different realms of sexuality, gender-normatively, religious/institutional repercussions, and the list goes on. One thing I felt very passionately about was stigmatization of HIV. However it wasn't until '4 Pills Once Daily' where I decided on a series that would question many of these issues. I have had a project idea revolving around HIV stigma for over a year now, and sometimes that's what you need to make sure you are ready to handle something so delicate, but in a manner that is accessible and more importantly, memorable.

Everyone has an anus, and yet when you initially discussed photographing a gay man’s HIV-positive butt hole, you faced some opposition. Can you talk about that?

Well, originally I intended to photograph the anus as the central and only 'subject' in the scene. Some criticisms were given about being so blatant; the main critique was that I may be building more walls than bridges, conflicting with creating an open dialogue on the matter. I racked my brain to present the same shot yet more accessible, and that's when I decided to depict the anus shot as an intimate moment with another man in the background. While not detracting from the clear focus of the picture, the anus is then presented for the other man in the scene, we just happen to be on-lookers. While I am aware the audience has the front-row seat of the buttocks, the model isn't simply showing his ass-hole to us, rather presenting himself as a sexual being, or rather a COMFORTABLY sexual being. That is what people find the most threatening when thinking about an HIV positive individual, so that’s why I aimed to find a way to do just that while still opening the doors for dialogue."

There’s a genius to your title ‘4 Pills Once Daily’ which I absolutely love; the title is both dismissive and arduous depending on your perspective. Which one do you think the pictures speak more too?

That's just it; this piece is meant to be interpreted by the masses, not just by a specific gender, orientation, or HIV status. The idea is to open people’s minds and give a different perspective on the issue, bearing in mind the context in which the photos are presented (with the audio interview of my model playing simultaneously). If someone was offended by the series, the question is WHY they felt that way, for being uncomfortable is the only way you can re-examine what you are already comfortable with. I find the photos cater to both perspectives in regards to the title, yes I am exposing the harsh reality of stigma, but the fact that I include the audio interview during the exhibition of the piece is to give another realm of depth and interpretation, helping it be a didactic piece. The information is all there, it's a matter of opening your eyes and letting yourself see more than a medicalized death toll when thinking of HIV."

I find it interesting that in response to your work, the debate that has emerged on your message board is actually around the outright denial or diminishment of the role HIV-stigma has played, and continues to play, in poz gay men’s health and wellness. “There aren't HIV/AIDS memorials all over the world because of stigma, perception, ignorance, hatred, or fear” I thought was a very telling comment about how clueless people are to the issues in play. Did you anticipate that an HIV positive gay man, telling your audience that HIV stigma is a problem, would be so hotly debated by an HIV negative audience?

No, I can't say I am surprised with the reactions. Considering the highly political nature of my photographic body of work as a whole, it creates an easy target of criticism for people who are uncomfortable with different viewpoints. I have unfortunately dealt with hate-mail and various other attempts at silencing my works, but people need to understand that such hatred doesn't offend me as much as you think it does. While it's definitely upsetting that people feel the need to go out of their way to comfort themselves by sending hate mail, the fact of the matter is that I'm proud to have evoked such emotions in a viewer. Being critical is something my work is all about, and having such strong feelings about my work just means I made you at least THINK of the other side of the spectrum, regardless if it made you uncomfortable. My mission statement says 'art is to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comforted', and I truly abide by this. Sometimes you need to be taken out of your comfort zone to see what else is out there, and for some people that idea is really threatening. Like I said before, being uncomfortable is the only way you can re-examine what you are already comfortable with.

To view the art of Andrew Gayed, visit http://andrewgayed.posterous.com and http://andrewgayed.tumblr.com or look for him on Twitter and Facebook.

There comes a time in life - well for some of us, when we have to eat our words. That old saying, “keep your words short and sweet, you never know when you will have to eat them” rings true and it has for me.

Back in my first year of high school in 1968-69, I had a science teacher who told me computers will some day sit on our desks. He was showing us pictures of a computer that filled an entire room. I tell you, we all laughed. But here I am admitting he was right,

I kept telling people I’d never go on a computer. On the news I would hear how the internet was going to take me to hell, warning me not to give out personal information, people on there were going to steal my identity, even my first born.

Then one day I was given the chance to try it and I was hooked. It was like love at first sight. All the typing I had learned in high school came back and I was typing up a storm in no time.

I have to admit I spent way too much time chatting to people. It became a way of life - wake up and go right online. Twice I got caught by people from other countries saying I was so handsome, we just had to meet.  They would come to Canada and live with me, I just had to flip the bill.

Not everything about the computer was all that bad for me though. I had always been a terminally shy person. I would go to a dance or bar and stand in a corner by myself all night.  I wouldn’t attempt to talk to anyone and no one would approach me. Each night I’d go home alone. If I could kick my own ass, I would have - many times. But when I found I could talk to people over the internet, it made it easier to arrange to meet people. No more awkwardness.

So here I am today, finding my way in this new big thing, social media. I started to write blogs for my local ASO, I work facebook a little and I’m all over twitter, I’m really big at retweeting.

It truly is amazing how social media works. You tweet something and it can be spread around the world in seconds. I’m enjoying what I’m doing and the people I’m connecting with. So many great people out there working to get all of us through this HIV/AIDS thing.

I’ve said this before, the HIV community works so well together - straights, gays and transgendered people getting along with no drama - yet another thing the rest of the world can learn from us.

I should sign off. They are waiting for me to submit this article. I have one quick thanks going out to Q-ball, my grade nine science teacher, that’s what we called him. In a time when we all wanted long hair, he had a shaved head, and it wasn’t a well shaped head.

I don't know if there's a metaphor in here somewhere, but I seem to be a person who clings to things well beyond their usefulness. This might be a story about hoarding, but we don't talk about that in front of me! This is more of a story of thriftiness and getting one's money's worth from purchases.

I was probably first struck by this aspect of my character many years ago while making cookies in the presence of a friend. My trusty hand mixer, probably only a few years past its prime, actually started smoking. I thought I would just let it cool down and start in again, but my friend made me unplug it, place it in the middle of the kitchen floor to cool down, and promise to throw it away. *sigh* I had to go out and buy a new one, which is now only about 18 years old and going strong.

I have the only version of a particular model of can opener that I found when I was freshly in Montréal as a first year university student, only 33 years ago. You might be familiar with the metal can opener with long handles to grip to pierce the can while you turn the little grip to go around the whole rim of the can. Well, mine has no such handles, the bottle-opener aspect standing straight up while you grip the little turning part with one hand and the can with the other. It was the only can opener I found in my new and unfamiliar surroundings when I moved here and I still use it after all this time.

I have two dead lamps that I cannot bring myself to abandon. One is a lovely art deco torchière that used to be a tri-light and the other a little wooden table lamp that my brother in law once made for my Dad. Neither works, but I have kept them for eventual repair, complicated by not having a car (how to go off in search of a lamp repair place with a large and somewhat fragile floor lamp on the bus or, worse, on foot?).

My most recent obsolescence, however, is spurring me to quicker action. My TV has turned itself into a part-time radio. The sound works fine, but the picture fades to black and sometimes comes back. The irony of this one is that I have often treated my TV like a radio for a long time. I might have it on, but I am facing my computer, turning to look at the TV only when something catches my attention. A couple of days ago, I turned to find a black screen and actually had to try a few other channels before believing that it was really the TV and not the CBC!

 So I'm off to shop for something new, flat and HD, but not too big, as I will likely treat the new one a lot like a radio, too. My lamps, however, are safely collecting dust in a corner of the bedroom.

We're taught to put others' needs before our own. It's supposed to teach us how to become thoughtful and unselfish. It's better to give than to receive and think of others before thinking of ourselves; the list goes on.

So, when do you cross your own line between pleasing everyone and taking care of yourself first?

It doesn't mean you have to become this self-centered egotistical person for the sake of putting yourself first, but understanding that being selfish isn't as negative as we were taught to believe.

I know! I realize this goes against EVERYTHING you've been taught, but when you actually start to believe, "I'm not happy until others are happy," it’s time to cross back over the line and figure out what the root of all of this is.

To give you a starting point, because I know you've been getting back on track with taking better care of yourself, I am going to show you 4 Powerful Ways You Can Put Yourself First, and in return you will start to build unstoppable confidence that will win many hearts over naturally.

1. Invest in self-development. You rock when it comes to your career, building your business or being an entrepreneur, but the rock falls when you try to meet men and go on dates. Why is that, you wonder? Well, both areas take different drives and not only that, in love you invest more of your emotions, vulnerability and the deepest part of you. If you have challenges getting to that place, it makes sense to reach out and invest in a coach or a therapist.

2. Saying NO when someone asks you for something BIG! When was the last time someone asked you for money, when you promised yourself you would never lend money out again? I know, you want people to like you, but I also know you've pleased people for so long, you've forgotten how to say no. Saying NO doesn't mean you are a cruel person. It means you hold integrity high and own it.

3. I'm not happy unless I make someone else happy. This is the biggest myth I have ever heard. For myself  I know I am not happy if... I am not happy - and trying to make everyone around me happy doesn't get to the root of my own well, unhappiness. 99.9% of the time when you aren't happy unless you're making someone else happy, it is done with great sacrifice. By then you don't know how to turn it around. Does that make you happy now? :-)

4. Know your self-worth. How much are you worth emotionally? Spiritually? Intellectually?  The deeper you know how much you're worth, the less you are likely to settle.

Practice these guidelines and you'll be building confidence before the next person is expecting YOU to make them happy.