Friday July 1, the day before the run, I was a tad nervous. The last time I had run in any race, was in 1977, thirty fours ago. I had no idea how I was going to fare at the Pride run. The possibilities were endless. But on an inner level, I had to prove to myself, I could run without any ensuring drama. My mind was set. It is my competitive nature.    

9 am. Saturday July 2.  I arrived at the 519 Community Centre (Church Street, Toronto) to pick up my registration packet. The place was teeming with jocks. I picked up my kit, got my number, 1368, changed into my running shorts and walked out. I had an hour to waste before the race. I had raised $1,005!

I kept sipping my pomegranate juice and did some gentle stretches.  It was early and people were slowly filtering into Church and Wellesley. At 9.30 I met my friend Kent and his camera. (All credits for the pictures accompanying this article go to Kent). It was a cloudy day and it seemed at any moment the clouds would open up and drench us. Wouldn’t that be awesome, to run in the rain?, How tropical! I reminisced about my growing years in Asia.

I walked about and went to pick up the chip or the “electronic time band” to keep track of our exact time. The chip keeps track of the time you pass the starting line and return to the finish line. I met up with friends from the AIDS Committee of York Region (ACYR).   Around five of the staff and their family were running. Two of them were first timers like me. At 9.45 am. the loudspeakers announced for the runners to get ready behind the line. The ACYR team and I gathered. My mind just wanted the darnn race to start.

We got in line and the “Go” shot was fired at 10am. Off we go.  I ran up Wellesley St., turned in to Queen’s Park, circled it and continued all around.  I was doing just fine. Along the route is a little hill. But even a little hill means extra effort on the thigh muscle to go up.  I got up to the little bump of a hill, volunteers were giving out water. I got a cup and sipped some water and splashed the rest on my face.  l had glided down smoothly from the tiny bump and  was turning the corner to face Wellesley again  and then it hit me. Duh, it is two rounds around Queens Park, not one.  Oh, well this is going to be fun.  I checked my heart rate. It was 148 beats, functioning at 82 percent of it’s capacity.  My lungs were on fire at 3K. I slowed down for 5 minutes to give my heart and lungs a rest until I hit the turn again to the small hill and the volunteers with water. 

 

At 10.15 am. the sun peeked out and it was scorching. I was literally having a hot flash on my face and head. I picked up my pace and all I could think of was, “water below the little hill.” “Run! Run to the volunteers with the water.”  I got there and grabbed two cups, drinking one and dowsing my head with the other.

Now I had to get to the finishing line. My legs were just stomping forward while my lungs were screaming stop.  I knew if I stopped, that was it.  I sensed I could make it to the finish line. By now I had no idea what the time was except I did not want to be the last one to finish. Finally, I see the turning into Wellesley St. and as I turn in, I see the finish line. It is three long blocks, far in the distance.

Breathe, breathe and I started chanting my guru’s name to stay focused and calm. I got to Bay St. and I heard my name being called, "Devan, a bit more, go Devan go." There was Kent cheering me on. I wanted to laugh but that meant I had to stop, so I just smiled at Kent and kept moving. Finally Church St. The finish line came into view. I heard the loud speaker read my chip time. As I ground to a halt, my lungs were so happy, but I was burning, panting and wished someone had hosed me down with cold water. I walked to the shade and leaned against a wall. Thank God it’s over. I did it. Yes. I am awesome! My chip time, 33 minutes and 10 seconds. The fastest runner was 15 minutes and slowest was around 54 minutes. I am so damn proud of myself!

 

I met up with the ACYR team as we all came back to our bodily senses. We went to partake of the delicious food served for the runners. As I reflect on the run, I could have made it in shorter time if I had not slowed down. That is my goal for next year. With 6 weeks of training this year, I did pretty decent at 51 years of age. I was so thankful for every cell and muscle for helping me through this and to all the celestial beings who kept me going.  

My next challenge: The ACYR staff has taken on a 42K marathon walk to raise funds for the PHA (People Living with HIV/AIDS) Financial Assistance Fund.  I have signed on. I have started my training by walking to work. It’s 10k each way. The 42K walk is on August 20.

I am also calling on readers, to ask if you can sponsor my walk, with any amount to assist the PHA fund at ACYR. I am counting on your compassion and empathy for people who are living with HIV/AIDS. The entire amount will go towards the Compassion Fund Program which is an emergency fund that supports PHA’s with food vouchers, paying rent, clothing, medication, and other basic necessities. Donations of $20 or more will be eligible to receive a tax receipt.

To contribute, please go to: www.runningroom.com. 

Click “Giving”

Under “Pledge an athlete”, please type my name: Devan Nambiar

Click “search”

Click  Event “ Walk n Roll to the Water” 

Click “Sponsor me”

Thank you and take on a healthy challenge for your mind and body. Anything is possible. Many blessings.

I'm sure that I am not alone among the readers of this blog cringing in horror as government after government in the United States repeals human rights protections for gays and lesbians and moves to declare same sex marriage illegal. Even as public opinion there seems to be moving rapidly in the right direction (toward acceptance), the battles seem harder and the losses more bitter.

This all makes me even prouder of what rolled out in Québec on May 20^th. Three days after the International Day Against Homophobia, the Government of Québec presented its Government Plan of Action to Fight Homophobia, complete with specific measures, the participation of no fewer than eleven different ministries and funding to the tune of $7.1 million over the next five years. All this was announced by Minister of Justice Jean-Marc Fournier, who now also carries the title Minister Responsible for the Fight Against Homophobia (I'm not sure if he gets more money for the new title, but surely a prettier driver goes without saying).

This move was the culmination of a long process that forged a solid and respectful collective of over 50 groups and researchers working in the field. It began even before research by the Québec Human Rights Commission yielded a report calling on the government to take concerted action, continued through the adoption of an official government policy against homophobia last year (the second government to adopt such a policy after Brazil) to this year's first, the plan of action with funding to ensure that it gets done. and the plan itself in French here.

We all recognize that this is just a first plan of action and that this fight will take longer than the five years outlined in the document. The commitment, however, is there. This is unfortunately rare among governments these days, looking for any excuse to avoid funding new initiatives if not actively seeking to suppress the rights of sexual minorities. But none of our parties in Québec is against this and no one is railing against uttering the word "gay" in our schools and workplaces.

The recent federal election may have made my province look a little orange in comparison to the others, but we can all be sure that the rest of the rainbow is here, too, and working concretely toward a laudable goal.

At 11am last Thursday results of a large scale clinical trial were released from Washington DC which crackled like wildfire through the internet.   Twitter lit up. PositiveLite went to press just minutes later carrying the news that good evidence had finally been produced that ART reduced transmission rates in mixed status heterosexual couples by 96%. This essentially backed the findings of the Swiss Study which, for reasons way too complicated to recite here had been discounted by many.

But here's the thing. There are a number of reasons why this news was not quite the breath of fresh air the MSM (men who have sex with men) community had been looking for. Foremost amongst these was the fact that this news was strictly about heterosexuals, not homosexuals. There are differences – significant differences - in how the two polarities have sex, which likely DO impact the risk of transmission. Add to that a number of reservations which I outlined in the article I’ve referenced earlier and you have a situation where the gay men’s sexual health community saw no need to get too excited.

The issue is that the results of both the Swiss Study and the later, more reliable evidence are not necessarily readily transferable to MSM. Having said that, the question arises that if we HAVE been able to quantify the impact of ART on HIV transmission in straight couples, why in heaven’s name can’t we quantify the same risk factor for MSM?

Here’s what Oriole R. Gutierrez Jr., Deputy Editor, POZ said on that subject on May 12 in the POZ blogs

“This new study is great news for opposite-sex couples.

It's also great news for opponents of HIV criminalization This study guts the assumptions of most criminal laws against the transmission of HIV, which often assume exposure to the virus is always lethal, regardless of the circumstances.

This study provides hope for same-sex male couples, but it does not provide the scientific confirmation so much needed by men who have sex with men. I sincerely hope researchers and funders immediately begin to get those answers.

Having been in relationships with both HIV-positive and HIV-negative men, I am certain that serodiscordant same-sex male couples can be successful at keeping negative partners virus-free with current safer sex methods.

That said, we deserve to know scientifically if the addition of "treatment as prevention" will make current safer sex methods for men who have sex with men that much more successful.

If the answer is yes, it will not only have the obvious effect of preventing HIV transmission, but I believe it will also have an enormous impact on reducing stigma and discrimination. We need to know."

Well said, Mr Gutierrez. For a community which places great reliance on evidence rather than conjecture, we are operating in a vacuum, with insufficient data to either shoot down the latest numbers or alternatively, applaud them as a breakthrough for the MSM community

My gut feel is that the results on research conducted on straights will ultimately be good news for MSM too.

There is, in fact, a good chance that harm reduction just got itself a major new weapon in its arsenal of ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission in men who have sex with men. Trouble is we can’t prove it.

Positive gay men are an under-researched population at the best of times, and this latest hole in our knowledge is a case in point. Let’s fix that hole now. There is an awful lot at stake, after all.

 . . . . . . . . with the Arabic Goddess Sultanna and Toronto’s own Dita Dior, as shot by the talented Lucyna DanUta Barossa. While I’m sworn to secrecy about the details of the shoot while the images are in post-production and being shopped around, I did manage to snap this quick behind the scenes photo while I had my makeup applied!