When I finished my trip to the Himalayas last year, I knew I wanted to physically challenge myself. Huffing and puffing in the Himalayas was fun – but I wanted a physical challenge on ground level. I was thinking of running. I have never been a runner, except running to catch the bus. To get into the groove, I subscribed to a running magazine for a year and purchased the book, Born to Run.

I learnt so much more about running and the human feet in Born to Run. My interest to know more was inspired by the story of the Tarahumara Indians in Copper Canyon, Mexico who run barefoot for hundreds of miles without any injury to their feet in the desert. They also do not stop to rest while running. Their endurance mystifies scientist and athletes alike. The Tarahumara loved running and displayed it in their feat.

Not being a Tarahumara Indian, I am aware of my human limitation and health challenges. But then you live once. Having seen the light at the end of the tunnel once in 1993 due to PCP, I am aware of how fragile life truly is. Having had PCP, my tidal volume of oxygen breathed is slightly less than normal capacity. Adding to decreased lung capacity, I had been diagnosed with osteopenia over 5 years ago. After 5 years of Fosavance and a final check of “bone health is stable” providing the assurance I needed. I met my specialist to make sure my heart was fine. We did a couple of EKG (electrocardiogram) and it seemed fine.

I signed up for the Pride Run 2011. It’s 5 K. The goal was to have fun and not be obsessed with competition. I sent out the online sponsorship and I was touched by the number of friends who contributed. Thank you, my lovely friends.

Now is the task of training. I started on the indoor track of the YMCA. I was fulyl prepared to have my knees, legs or feet sore. But so far it has been rather minimal. I use my heart monitor watch to check my heartbeats and percentage of use. I learnt over the weeks of running, once I preserved over 4 laps, my legs gained a stride to be consistent. I also learned to pace myself, keep my back straight, bend my knees and be light on my legs.

On weekend mornings, I train at the park next to my home. What an incredible joy to run in the park. A delightful fragrance of lilacs and green foliage, to cleanse the spirit and sooth the soul.    

Lessons in running from the book: “Think Easy, Light, Smooth and Fast” when running. The amazing fact from the book is “human being are designed to run” and run “without shoes.” Research “shows that when we wear shoes, we actually strike the ground harder in spite of the extra cushioning.” Did you know “every step you take when you run is like putting three times your weight on your legs?” But if you take off your shoes,and run barefoot, you land a lot more lightly. Research on barefoot running discovered there are less foot injuries while running and walking barefoot versus wearing high tech padded shoes. One testimonial states that as “his muscles in the foot got stronger, the arch got higher”, reducing injuries. The book also goes further into the problems of orthotics and gelled, cushioned, air soles, etc. and their contributions to increases in foot injuries. For those who do run, I am sure you have heard of pronation. But according to the research, in barefoot running, “the foot is supposed to pronate.” Pronation is “a mild, shock-absorbing twist that allows your arch to compress.”

Here are a more facts to think about: “The beauty of any arch, the greatest weight-bearing design ever created. The harder you push, the tighter its part mess. Supporting the foot from all sides are “26 bones, 33 joints, 12 rubbery tendons, and 18 muscles, all stretching and flexing like an earthquake-resistant suspension bridge. Putting your feet in shoes is similar to putting them in plaster cast.” There are additional details on diets of marathon runners from across the world: “miso soup,, tofu and vegetables; to diets of raw oats, fruits, nuts and cheeses; to beans, beer and oatmeal; to fruits, vegetables and whole grains.”  

Whatever your fitness level, this is the time to kick off the shoes and slippers and treat your feet to the cool grass under your feet, take a walk across a sandy beach. Feel the ground beneath your feet; awaken the senses of your feet.

I will end with the words of a 96 years old marathon runner Jack Kirk, “You don’t stop running because you get old” but “you get old because you stop running.”

Ref: Christopher McDougall. (2009) Born To Run. A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen. Vintage Books, New York.               

Yesterday, I read an interview with Paul Morris, who owns the gay porn production studio Treasure Island Media (TIM). TIM shoot primarily bareback – condomless – sex. Here is a snippet from the interview, conducted with and posted at Let’s Talk About Sex.    

“Most recently, I’ve been motivated to produce pornography to directly address the appalling phenomenon of the HIV “closet”. It’s a tremendously dangerous and damaging result of the continuing fear and superstition that’s promoted by AIDS healthcare organizations and big pharma. Meds are now sufficiently sophisticated and reliable and side-effect free to make AIDS a virtual non-issue in the developed world. The battleground now should be that of forcing big pharma - particularly companies like Gilead - to give up their patents on the meds and make them universally affordable in both the developed and the developing world. This would be a serious struggle since it would (nominally) reduce their obscene profits.

HIV continues to be stigmatized in the US, often by middle-aged gay men who are habituated to living in a world of fear and tragedy and refuse to believe that the crisis is truly over. These are the men who begin every letter or comment with “I watched my entire generation die in the 80s...” To a great extent, the current gay mindset surrounding HIV is a result of a generation of men living with PTSD and not getting the support and help they need now that the war is over.”

His pornography involves consenting adults and is none of my business. What irks me are his comments. For example:  

‘Meds are now sufficiently sophisticated and reliable and side-effect free to make AIDS a virtual non-issue in the developed world.’

Side-effect free? I beg to differ.   HIV meds are certainly not as toxic, but they are far from being side-effect free. He then goes on to state that the ‘battleground’ should now involve forcing ‘big pharma’ to give up patents on the meds, thus making them universally affordable. I agree with his point that it would be nice if big pharma gave up their patents on HIV meds... but access to medication is only one issue.

What about all the other issues? Late diagnosis. for example? Stigma anyone? The statement that AIDS is a virtual non-issue in the developed world makes me cringe. I’d like for him to pay a visit to the hospital ward I was placed in during 2009...

Morris may think he is producing porn to ‘address the appalling phenomenon of the HIV closet’, motivated to reduce ‘fear promoted by AIDS Service organisations and big pharma’, but I very much doubt that is how any of his viewers perceive it. Instead of slating AIDS Service Organizationss, Paul Morris might want to learn something from them about the effort they put into reducing fear and stigma.

“As a pornographer, all I can do in response is to produce work that features men who are openly positive (or negative) and happily living their lives honestly and fully.”

Sorry, but what a load of rubbish. The motivation here is money, pure and simple.    

So regular readers will know my feet are a mess, the product of peripheral neuropathy caused perhaps by the prescribed drugs I take or have taken, perhaps by HIV itself. I’ve recounted here more than once how this side-effect induced pain in the feet has advanced so that it's hard to get it under control. Firstly my healthcare team has withdrawn Truvada from my five-drug combo and secondly they have added Gabapentin to the mix.

For my part, I have invested in New Balance brand shoes which I wear most of the time – they have a lot of cushioning, come in wide fittings, and are probably the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned. But they just can’t stave off the affects of neuropathy. In my case, I walk differently when my feet are hurting, which in turn eventually makes your lower-back hurt and turns you in to one miserable SOB.

So I was definitely in the market for alternative solutions.

Dr Scholls “Orthotic Centre” first caught my eye in our local Wal-Mart. I saw one again at Costco last week and decided to give it a try. It’s a fearsome looking shoulder-high kiosk with a platform you stand on, having removed your shoes. There are two handles to hold on to. A computer screen tells you what to do. Lean forward. Raise one leg and lean forward. Raise the other leg and lean forward. The machine meanwhile is mapping the pressure points on the underside of your feet. The result is a customized recommendation for one particular smodel of Dr Scholl’s orthotic inserts, of which there are many.

The technology behind the kiosk as well as what goes in to the three-layered inserts is described here.

The kiosk contains a supply of the inserts in all the various fits that the computer might recommend. My test resulted in a recommendation for the CF340 model which provides extra-good support for the arches. I know mine had suffered badly though having to walk flat-footed because of the neuropathy, in effect taking pressure off my toes. The inserts aren’t cheap – at Costco they are $70, for which you get two pairs, which realistically you probably need. But that $70 price compares with the hundreds of dollars you would pay for custom-fitted inserts elsewhere. It seemed well worth a try. Besides, the Wal-Mart reviews (an authoritative source if ever there was one, LOL) are pretty glowing.

Now to the important question: do they work? The answer is that based on just two days experience I would say yes. They certainly seem to make your feet feel more comfortable when standing or walking, providing support where you need it (arches) and cushioning elsewhere (heel and toes.) It’s true they do occupy space inside your shoes, so the shoes appear tighter, and that may not work well for some people. Also your first outing in them will almost certainly feel a bit strange: it feels as if there is something balled up under your arches which shouldn’t be there – a sock or something. Also returning to more correct walking form tests neglected leg and back muscles, so you might feel sore at first until your body adjusts.

To be fair, I haven’t tested these inserts long enough to fully evaluate them as an antidote to the debilitating impact of peripheral neuropathy. And the benefits I’m feeling now may in fact be at least partly responsible to the changes in my drug regime I referred to earlier. So it’s hard to judge. But let’s say right now I’m most favourably impressed by this product.

I think what it boils down to is that I’m seeing that the pain from peripheral neuropathy benefits from being attacked on several fronts. Prescription drugs might work, over the counter pain killers might work, dropping troublesome drugs from your regime might work, even acupuncture might work. But you also have to take measures which are kind to your feet. My take is that Dr Scholl’s Custom Fit orthotic inserts might do just that. So yes, I’m a believer.

 I’ll check back in six weeks to report if the effect is lasting.

I made the decision to be more involved in my local AIDS Service Organization (ASO) when I completed their Positive Prevention - Train the Trainer course last fall. Going into it, I didn't think I would use it in any way, not until we got to the social media part. It was then that I realized I had already been doing some social media stuff -  or knew where I could find it on the net. I was on Twitter and Facebook and I had always wanted to do a personal blog.

Another opportunity that we could get involved with was learning workshop facilitation. This frightened me right away: I would NOT do public speaking. Uh uh, no way, not gonna happen!

Fast forward to December of last year., I attended a Speaker's Bureau course and learned how to go out and tell my story. Now  I still get nervous, get the shakesand get weak in the knees while speaking.   But I’m getting a little more comfortable each time.

I had to tell my story in front of the rest of the class and a panel of well seasoned speakers who have been doing it for many years. We were to provide verbal feedback and fill out a written evaluation on each other. I received mine back a while ago and I was surprised by the results, good and bad. I was satisfied and could agree with most of the comments. I did have one negative reaction: someone had the nerve to say, "lose the har!" WHAT!? That hat is part of me now !

I am just joking here, I respect the comment, but I WILL continue to wear my fedora. It’s my security blanket and, besides I am being true to myself. It’s me!

Years ago, when I was told I would probably have to leave my job, it was suggested that I get a hobby. I had always liked photography and I always had some sort of camera. For most of my life that meant just taking pictures of family events and get togethers with friends

Many years ago I tried to do the kind of more advanced photography I do now. Looking back it doesn't look like I had much vision for it then. Now I find it relaxing and a get-away from the stress and drama that clutters up my life from time to time. Several days a week I pack up the things I'll need and go "take a hike" for several hours. The stress is minimal now

It was suggested by my ASO that I do a photography workshop. I thought about it, then one day I put a plan down on paper, showed it to them and got the go ahead to do it. I could get some help from them if needed. They felt others may get the same benefits from photography that I was getting.

So on May 24th I facilitated my first workshop, called "Photography". I am not a professional in any way, I've never taken any courses in photography. I learn as I go. The workshop was centred on introducing people to digital cameras, where and how to buy one cheaply, how they operate, save and store pictures, how to photoshop them and share them online or turn them into prints.

As I started to do the presentation, I got nervous, my voice quivered a bit, and if you have seen the movie "The King's Speech", I couldn't read clearly what I had written. I stammered and had to go back and re-read a line again. I did get some relief when questions came out, others would chime in with what they knew and soon the workshop was all of us having an open discussion around the table. Involving the participants was my saviour.

The second part of the workshop was an excursion to take some pictures. We have several trails along the river here so we only had to go a couple of blocks to get to one. I had pointed out to watch for things that they might think would make a good picture. We ended up with a lot of very good pictures that we plan on putting in a book for each of us and the ASO. We had a class on Creative writing as well so some of it will be included also.

I am now thinking about doing another workshop in the future, hmmmm, what should it be on...............blogging?

My photography can be viewed on www.flickr.com - my username there is rubberschmuckie or you can try this link.