When I started writing this blog, I made the decision to do so anonymously. I made that decision because, at the time, I felt it would allow me to be freer in my writing; I could write how I truly feel, without having to take in to consideration how my friends, family or coworkers would react if and when they came across this blog.
As the blog has evolved, and I’ve become more active on Twitter, I have had the opportunity to talk with some amazing HIV-positive people, allies and activists. I cannot begin to express how much I admire these people for fighting stigma and showing the world that HIV-positive people are no different from anyone else. It is a message I believe in, and try to keep at the core of my writing as well.
Part of me, though, feels like I am not doing enough. I feel like, by begin anonymous, I am letting down the community I have come to know. Every time I tweet and talk with people, there’s a nagging in me that says I’m not being genuine. By hiding, I am not letting people know the real me. And that bugs me, because I always pride myself in being authentic and honest.
It’s a difficult dilemma: do I remove the curtain, reveal myself to the world and stand tall? Do I remain anonymous and continue to write what I feel is a raw, visceral blog that is completely blunt and honest because of the anonymity?
I’m not ashamed to have HIV. I’m not ashamed of any part of me – so to remain anonymous partly feels like I am embarassed about who I am.
This article previously appeared in Josh’s own blog The Plus Side of Life here.