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The diagnosis [4]

Wednesday, 22 July 2015 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, Health, International , Treatment, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

Guest writer RYU Matsumoto from The Philippines with the fourth part of his story of being diagnosed with HIV. Today - on leaving hospital, returning home and finally a return to good health

The diagnosis [4]

Goodbye, TMC!

On Saturday, April 21st, 2014 the doctor started to see signs of improvement in my body temperature (which constantly got high due to a lot of infections going on inside me), and my appetite started to be ok but still not normal. My doctor was tellingl me, “You look better! That’s good!”. I just love doctors who are encouraging even though the reality of having the virus made me worry so much. I know I still needed to gain more weight. However, I’m glad that my doctor told me that I will be discharged soon. I just have to maintain the good signs she saw.

I really prayed hard for good news, and God gave it to me. I missed home. I missed everyone there.

As I left the hospital room while sitting in that wheelchair, I expressed my thanks to the nurses who took good care of me. The last nurse who was assigned to me was the one who went downstairs with me while waiting for my dad’s car. She told me not to come back as a patient anymore, but that I could visit them if I had time. She, together with the other nurses, was really kind. I know it’s their job, but I really did appreciate the words of encouragement they shared.

Bon retour!

I really didn’t know what to expect. A lot of things were running inside my head at that time, but one thing’s for sure. I just corldn’t wait to see my other family members again. After a very long travel time from the hospital due to heavy traffic, I was finally home. The moment I saw the others from the inside of the of car, I started to shed tears again. I had missed our home so bad. I think I had missed a lot of things, a lot of events.

My legs were still in pain due to my two-week stay in the hospital. I think the medications I had there increased my uric acid. It was really a struggle to walk normally. I was literally scratching my slippers. I couldnt’t even lift them. I still tried my best to go inside. My brothers surprised me with lots of hugs and kisses. The same drama started, but it ended soon. These are the things you typically get from a loving family. It was a very special moment.

The struggle is real

The summer heat was really evident at that time. It was really difficult to adjust at first. I really felt the big change in myself. In how I looked and in how I moved. I was still thankful I’d survived this. My rebirth has a purpose. I need to show more love to myself. More care.

It also felt like that I wouldn’t be able to do everything by myself. Even to take a bath on my own (it sounds crazy, I know). I became so fragile. It was a different version of me, one who used to be filled with energy. But my family always told me that whatever happens, they will always be there. They will always have my back.

That time, I made a promise to my family and myself. A promise not to give up no matter what happens. That I will continue to fight. That I will strive to survive. That I will live a normal life… just like everyone else.


June 15, 2015

Yes! You can see it! My CD4 count (before this) is 123. My baseline was 18 when I was diagnosed with HIV. On my next CD4 count, I was able to raise it to 185 which was a big improvement. However, on my next CD4 count, it went down to 123.

Before I did the CD4 count, an incidental lymph node was seen on my psoas muscle. It had to be drained and I underwent a biopsy at PGH. It was a painful one (since it was my first time). I’m glad it was negative to TB (Tuberculosis).

Today, I received very good news. From 123 which made me feel really depressed, I was able to raise my count by 152 points. Now, it’s 275!! YEY!!

I couldn’t contain my happiness after my doctor told me the news. She was also surprised about how my count had improved a lot. I’m not going to stop my intake of Co-Trimoxazole. I’m happy I was able to graduate from another medicine intake. ^_^

I still have to work on one thing. My WEIGHT! Haha! I had a deal with my doctor to come back with a lesser weight. I really want to do it for myself as well, not just for my doctor. I will also make sure to stay healthy so I can raise my CD4 count higher.

I want to thank the LORD for giving me such great news today. It really made me very happy! Praise God!

These excerpts first appeared on the blog Optimistic Ryu (Everything about my POZitive life and more) here.

You can follow Optimistic RYU on twitter @RyuMPLUS ed