Have you ever heard the phrase, "one hand doesn't know what the other hand is doing"? No, this isn't going to be another masturbation blog. It isn't based on the real meaning of the phrase either, instead, my one hand had to learn how to do what the other hand normally did.

A week ago I had gone out with a friend for breakfast. As I got in the car he asked where my camera was. I am rarely seen without my backpack and cameras but lately, it’s been so wet or cold, for some reason this year I haven't had the same need to be out there. It’s winter here but there hasn't been much snow this year, just a lot of rain and it isn't good to be wet when the weather is this cold.

However, this particular day, it felt almost like spring. The sun came out so when I was dropped off, I got the camera and headed out. Well, I was walking along the river downtown and thought I'd go down this embankment to the edge of the water. Wrong decision. The trail was a little muddy and I didn't have much tread on the shoes I was wearing, I fell. I landed on my right shoulder and I could hear the crunching as I landed. Slowly it got sore and then got unbearable, I couldn't move it much without a lot of pain.

I pulled out my phone and called a family member to come and get me and take me to the hospital. I could sense the feeling of, "what did you do now"? Ummm, this isn't a common thing, I don't have many accidents.

It turned out it wasn't as serious as I had thought, just a slight separation of the collarbone and nothing broken. It sure is taking its time getting better. I have broken the left side collarbone twice and had the rotator cuff repaired before. I am right handed so this has been quite the opposite experience. Most things, I now had to do with my left hand, I won't list them all here but you can probably guess what the list would include. Raising my arm isn't that easy still, so I haven't been doing much typing on the computer, just clicking and reading things. Luckily for me, this isn't a world where you do much writing anymore.

I was explaining to Bob, my editor here on PositiveLite.com, that I may not get anything in to him for a while, I was on the injury list. He just told me to take it easy and send something when I could. He asked if I had taken anything interesting lately so I thought of doing this as a new blog posting, another one with some of my photos. These have been taken during the fall and some were taken in December and January. The one of the concrete carving of the head with a smoke in it, its the most viewed one on my flickr.com page. I put it out on twitter and it really drew attention, The last count I saw was 256 views, Most of my pics only get 20 or 30. It could be because I named the picture "Stoned". Hmmm!

I really want this shoulder to heal:  I want to get out and get back to my hobby.

More of my photos can be found here.

Boyd Kodak is a musician, writer, filmmaker and festival curator. And that's just the start!~

Bob Leahy: Congratulations on being honoured with an Inspire Award for Lifetime Achievement in our community. I see the awards ceremony is coming up December 14.  But first things first. What are you going to wear?

Boyd Kodak: So excited, got some awesome tails…always wanted to wear tails…hot new shoes in shades of pewter…still looking for just the right bowtie :~)

BL: Seriously, tell me what receiving this award means to you.

BK: Wow, to receive this award is an incredible honour for me, and to be in such distinguished company as the lovely Michelle Dubarry and the late Jack Layton, is truly amazing. I think it’s important to remember our past, while we continue our move forward. The Inspire Award initiative to celebrate our GLBTQ history, and be all inclusive, united as a community in the recognition of our achievements, shows all the work was worth it. There have been many hard working activists, of which I was privileged to be a part of, that helped make a difference. It’s great to be included, recognised and appreciated.

BL: I want to talk about your trans journey a bit. When did it start? And does it ever finish?

BK: I started my transition in 1997. I was doing some work with a lesbian/gaynews magazine show at the time. People would send in requests for stories. One came a few times from a group called TTAC –Toronto Transgender Action Committee. I agreed to cover their story, and met some of the best people I had met my whole life. Beautiful and brave people who were standing up for their identities and that of those they loved. I finally found my perfect fit.

My journey will never finish, because for me it includes continually building community and continuing outreach for understanding and acceptance. It also means me reaching out through my art as well as activism.

I have started a new project that involves writing and recording music and a musical about my life, in collaboration with the talented performer and community favourite Carrie Chesnutt. I will publically identify as trans and continue my efforts to help promote awareness and understanding.

BL: I imagine it was harder back then to go through that gender transitionprocess than it is today?

BK: Harder in many ways. There was very little community when I first transitioned. There was a LG community, but not a LGBTQ community. There wasn’t the community support, unification and services that there are now. There weren’t health centers and doctors to help. There was just the Clarke, with some limited funding and big hoops.

It’s still not easy. Surgery is expensive, if you go that route.

BL: What would you say to a fifteen year old questioning their gender identity?

BK: I would tell them they are not alone, they are not wrong or bad. Try to love yourself, be proud, be strong and reach out. There is more acceptance and understanding of gender identity in trans youth since there has been more education and available resources. When I first meet some of the people in TTAC, there was a beautiful woman and her most amazing mother. Born male, he was taken from his mother, locked up and given electric shock therapy as a youth. The mother fought for years to get her child back and help her through her transition. Thank goodness they don’t do things like that in Canada anymore.

I first remember identifying and telling my parents I was a boy at 2 years old.

BL: You have been hugely active in human rights, Boyd.  For those who don’t know your history, tell us about your personal impact on the Ontario Human Rights Code?

BK: Prior to my transition I lived as a lesbian. I came out publically in the 70’s, and began helping in the fight for equal rights.  I was working in an executive position in the private sector, and was then known as Jan Waterman. In 1988, I was escorted out of my office and out of the building for refusing to agree to homophobic action orders given to me on the company’s direction. They wanted me to disband a group of friends that happened to be gay & lesbian (tell them they had to remain quiet, to keep to themselves and not fraternize, they were not welcome to come to the Christmas party) and to fire someone. I filed a human rights compliant in 1988, and in 1993, won a precedent setting case in Ontario opposing sexual orientation discrimination in the workplace. There is an exhibit about this on display in the Canadian GLBT Archives. The case Waterman vs National Life is specifically mentioned in the Ontario Human Rights Code and is still used in Teaching Human Rights in Ontario. The results of this case made it law that no one fear persecution, discrimination or loss of employment due to their sexual orientation. This historical achievement is referred to as the beginning of Gay and Lesbian history in Canada. It is also included in the Gay & Lesbian History Timelines.

BL: Amazing.  Now, clearly trans issues have come a long way, but what more needs to be done?

BK: Sexual orientation and trans issues have come along way, but lots more needs to be done.

In Canada, the Northwest Territories is the only provincial/territorial jurisdiction to include gender identity in their Human Rights Code. This is so not acceptable. There is now the Trans Lobby Group with numerous activists like Susan Gapka and Davina Hader working tirelessly for these issues to be recognized and resolved.

BL: Have you done any work on trans/HIV issues?

BK: Yes, I've done a lot of volunteer work to raise funds for AIDS organizations and did a series of video-making workshops for children affected by HIV. With regards to trans/HIV issues, I also have been involved with filming panels, PASAN and programs used in university libraries and teaching sex ed in high schools.

BL: You’ve also been very active in the arts and film in particular? Tell us what you’re most proud of there.

BK: When I started working with film and festivals, there were trans programs that screened work about us, but not by us. I was the first trans person to be on the programing committee of a gay and lesbian film festival, and became involved with curating programs of work by trans artists for many film festivals worldwide.

In 1998, my creative partner Cat Grant and I, began to curate themed programs within trans programing. As opposed to just being about transitioning, they were about our history, our romances, our loved ones, our activism. I used my studios and helped many artists to get their work out. In 2001, I became Executive Director of the Counting Past 2 TS/IS/TG Film Festival, which ran 7 days. It became the biggest festival of its kind, and the first of its kind to have provincial and municipal funding.

BL: What’s the state of queer cinema right now, would you say?

BK: Again queer cinema has come such a long way. When I started working with the festivals I would go around to screening committees and give workshops on trans issues to committee members. I remember placing the first few trans people amongst screening committee members. Now festivals regularly include trans people on their screening committees and some even have specific trans screening committees. I do want to mention that I am thrilled that the Inspire Awards are not only including the trans spectrum in the awards recognition, but are including trans arts in the evening. I will be performing two original songs with my new creative partner Carrie Chesnutt, and work representative of and by the trans community will be included in the silent art auction.

BL: I want to ask you three questions that are not so serious, but are intended to get us to know Boyd Kodak the person.  So . your favourite restaurant and what you would order there?

BK: Dinner : Fresh – Black Bean Burrito, Cherry Pom Smoothie

Dessert :  Organic Chocolate/Raspberry Cake and Champagne

BL: Your opinion of Glee?

BK: Some great voices. I support their efforts to bring issues to the forefront, but some fairy tale endings. There’s going to be a performance by the Etobicoke School of the Arts Glee club, at the reception…very cool.

BL: What does Boyd Kodak want for Christmas?

BK: Hmmm, tough question. Of course I would like for the people in this world to learn to love each other better, and live in peace. I would like a cure for the horrific illnesses amongst us and for the suffering to end. A wish just for me, the opportunity to continue in my efforts to help promote awareness, understanding, acceptance and love through my creative endeavors would be perfect.

BL: OK, we lied. Here’s a fourth. Tell us something about Boyd Kodak that nobody (or hardly anybody) knows.

My best friend calls me Sonny, haha, but in a good encouraging way.

BL: Finally, Boyd, you’ve clearly had a lot of accomplishments and the Inspire Award recognizes that.  But what are you most proud of about your life?

BK: Another really hard one. I am most proud of never giving up, helping create a united community and staying positive.  I guess, just trying to stand up for what’s right.

BL: Great! Thanks for talking to us Boyd – and see you December 14^th.

BK: Thank you, can’t wait!

The Inspire Lifetime Achievement Awards take place December 14, 2011 at the Courtyard Marriott, Toronto.  Tickets and more information here.

The three biggest holidays of the year are upon us. Thanksgiving - when we gather with our families and eat more food in one sitting than most third world villages see in a year.  Christmas - when the battle of who spent more, and who got bigger and better gifts, ensues. And New Years - when everyone gets dressed to the nines, goes out, proceeds to get drunk and then pukes in their neighbour's bushes.

This, though, is the one time of year that I truly get excited, because along with all of the aforementioned traditions, people start acting nice!  They call it holiday cheer. Neighbors start helping each other more, people in traffic tend to cut you off less. It is these small things that I look forward to all year long.

But this year it seems holiday cheer is either in very short supply or is extremely late in its arrival.

I look around and all I see are people bitching and complaining about frivolous things  - and I find myself wanting to whack people over the head with a wreath. I mean who gives a shit if you can't afford the new iPhone4. What the hell is wrong with the iPhone3 you bought less than a year ago? You can't get a date for Saturday night? Suck it up and put on your big boy panties, call some friends and just have a game night, or something. I mean if people died because they didn't get laid by some hung stud every Saturday night I would have dropped dead about ten years ago!

One of the biggest things that has irked me about this year’s lack of holiday cheer has to do with the simplest of gestures that, to me anyway, is a big deal. Christmas cards. It's big for me because I have a ton of friends and family and while I would love to get each and every one of them a gift, living on a $700 a month disability check just doesn't make it possible. But what are possible are Christmas cards.

As I was compiling my Christmas card list I ran into some names that I didn't have addresses for, so I made phone calls and emails to procure said addresses and was shocked and appalled at some of the responses I got. While everyone was willing to give me their address so that they may receive a card, there were a lot of “OMG people still send actual cards?” And “OK. here's my address, but you’re wasting time and postage cause you won’t get one back from me, I don't bother with Christmas cards!”

Am I truly the only person left on earth that actually sits down and writes out Christmas cards?  I remember as a child, one of my favorite things about Christmas, aside from decorating the tree, was opening the mailbox and finding cards in there. My mother used to let us open and read them and then scotch tape them around the doorway.

Has this become a bygone tradition? Has the world become do digital that it is beyond people to actually write out cards in lieu of mass e-mails and e cards? Have we really become such an impersonal society?

So here is my holiday request for all of you; quit your bitching, buy a box of Christmas cards and take an hour off from facebook and let those people in your life know that you’re thinking of them. Hell you don't even have to licks stamps, they come pre-sticky now.

Getting Christmas cards in my mailbox is still one of my favourite things about the holiday season. Give it a try, you might be surprised!

Thank you for reading.

XXOO Danny

Over the last few weeks I have been talking to people I consider heroes within the HIV community in London. It has truly been the most humbling experience. I have cried, I have laughed and I have realised that no matter what I do to raise awareness and try and break down walls, it will never be enough. You see, a hero is ultimately someone who selflessly tries to make life better for others.

Yesterday I met with Andrew Jukes from Waterstones, Gower Street, (seen above) for the last of my "Heroes" articles. Andrew and I had not met before, but what he has been doing in the run up to World AIDS Day caught my attention and I wanted to talk to him.

The Gower Street branch of Waterstones is the academic flagship of the company, based in an area of London that is surrounded by universities and medical schools that have a global reputation for excellence. The store is staffed by some of the smartest people in their field, and is probably one of the only bookshops I have ever been in that the staff seems to go about their work with smiles on their faces.

This year they are having a series of events during the week of World AIDS Day. The store has borrowed panels from the AIDS quilt that are held in posterity by George House Trust to put on display in the window. For a store to give up a window right next to their main entrance in the lead up to Christmas is reason enough alone to consider what they are doing heroic. But I wanted to meet the man behind it and discover why it was happening.

So yesterday I went to have a coffee with Andrew Jukes.  He recognised me immediately, and we laughed at the fact that the GMFA Count Me In campaign has made me an HIV poster boy. (This is something I had never sought, as anyone who read my first piece for this site will understand) .

Andrew, a cheery, totally engaging chap, launched immediately into the whys and hows of the week ahead. I wanted to know why he had set up such a week. He told me that he had recently started to research HIV history, stuff that a gay man let alone a poz gay man should know but didn’t. The “30 years of AIDS“ story the media focussed on in 2011 made him dig for what Hollywood would call the ‘back-story’.  Inspired by what he found out he began to talk to colleagues, to find that many of them  knew only little about HIV/AIDS.

Given this and the apathy he saw in the world in general, Andrew approached store management to ask if he could organise a week of events. As you can imagine he had a lot to overcome, working in a company with over 300 stores and 4,000 staff. First was a management concern that the company already supported a dyslexia charity year-round. Andrew was persistent, saying he wasn’t asking for a corporate policy volte-face but for an awareness week. He also pointed out with the greatest of respect that 30 million people have not died of dyslexia.

Once permission had been granted he started to plan and pull together the nitty gritty of the week, first getting 5 different charities on board, one per day, to interact with customers about what each does. They are: 

• Monday: The National AIDS Trust
• Tuesday: GMFA
• Wednesday: The Riverhouse Trust
• Thursday: The Food Chain
• Friday: Body & Soul

He was ordering books on HIV to be displayed in-store and in the window, all of course available for purchase.  He arranged book signings with a number of food writers who specialise in nutritious, as opposed to fashionable, food. He got a graphic designer to produce a Waterstones' logo fashioned out of red ribbons. 

He set up facebook accounts and twitter accounts for the week and arranged for his partner to run diagnostics for tracking mentions and hits the event receives worldwide - a way to prove to management that when he said it would be profile raising, it indeed would be. He has tirelessly promoted the week, including in the social media.

The week's Facebook username is gowerstHIVweek. The Twitter username: @gowerst_HIVweek

There has even been a mention in the Wall Street Journal. Everything he has achieved - he feels that we, who are so privileged, particularly with our healthcare, must learn and have a voice - amazed me. He wants to get those around him talking and engaging with a topic that no longer has fear for us in the western world, nor is fashionable. Yet he knows, as indeed we all know, HIV is still a killer and is still on the rise.

The most wondrous thing about all this, for me, was that his plans for the future include larger events involving more stores next year. That and just how personally healing his journey has been. He told me that the last four months have given him a renewed sense of self and vigour that had been missing for years.  That’s a sentiment that I know only too well.

Andrew told me that none of this is about him.

I went to meet the spokesperson for a corporation that is doing great things, but I met a man, a quiet man, a man with no visible ego.  But a man who is doing great things too.

Todd Klinck is a well known figure in the Toronto alternative club scene, known too for his past work as a young dom in the sex trade, with a nightclub in the burbs featuring shemale strippers, for making porn with a kink twist, for being edgy and out - and outspoken, but he’s much more than that.  Here’s the Wikepedia version of Todd Klinck’s life

Todd Klinck (born November 15, 1974 in Windsor, Ontario) is a Canadian writer, nightclub owner and pornography producer. Klinck moved to Toronto at age 18 to study theatre at York University, but dropped out to focus on his career. In 1996, his novel Tacones (High Heels) was the winner of the Three-Day Novel Contest, and was published by Anvil Press to strong reviews in the Toronto Star and Quill and Quire. Klinck also collaborated with John Palmer and Jaie Laplante on the screenplay for the 2004 film Sugar, which garnered a nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay at the 25th Genie Awards, and was a columnist for fab until 2005. He wrote an online only column for Xtra! magazine called "Sex Play" in 2009, and a column called "Porndoggy" in the same publication for most of 2010. His writing has been published in the National Post, Saturday Night magazine, and Bil Bo K (Belgium).

Klinck and his business partner Mandy Goodhandy have launched several sex businesses in the Toronto area, including a transgender strip club, "The Lounge", an adult DVD production company, "Mayhem North", and a porn site, "Amateur Canadian Guys". In 2006 they opened a pansexual nightclub "Goodhandy's" located in downtown Toronto. Klinck has also worked as a professional BDSM dominant, and has appeared on the television series KinK.

With Goodhandy, Klinck was chosen to be the Grand Marshall of the Pride Toronto 2010 parade.

Bob Leahy: Todd, thank you for talking to PositiveLite.com. I want to ask you first, you’ve spent most of your life in the sex industry, in one way or another. What does your mom think of all this?

Todd Klinck: My mom was pretty ahead of her time, Bob. She raised us to be feminists, encouraged atheism (or at least agnosticism) and to question conventional thought. Because of that, when I came out to her about my sex work, it only required that I explained a little bit about it, so that she understood the politics and was reassured about typical motherly safety concerns. She was a card carrying member of Mensa, so it's not difficult to explain things to her and gain her acceptance.

BL: OK. I want to talk about how you got in to it. You started in 1996, didn’t you, when you were quite young? What was it like being a beginner escort in those early days.

TK: It was pre-internet. A totally different world. There were fewer opportunities for people to have discreet casual sex, and even fewer for paid sex. I found the clients to be very respectful of my set rules about safer sex, about pricing, and limitations. I found the closeted guys to be easier to deal with than guys who were already out as gay.

I've mentored some young escorts over the past couple years, and can say that much has changed. People have so many more options for free sex encounters, and in some ways, the slight normalization of the sex business has made people more likely to think it's OK to haggle and treat the boys with less respect. That's just my interpretation based on the experiences of several younger boys in recent years. There are also many wonderful clients who hire escorts, and I have heard lots about them also. The main difference, that you may find interesting for readers of this particular site, is that when I started in 1996, I was able to insist on condoms for oral sex with little to no resistance. Boys I have mentored tell me that it is absolutely unheard of with current clients.

BL: Did you go for the dom BDSM niche market right away?

TK: I started as a “boy escort” because I was 21 at the time, and quite thin. I knew little about BDSM, but several years in, I acquired one regular client who was extremely into BDSM. Our relationship evolved, and I learned immensely from him. He eventually became my official slave, has my name tattooed on his ass, and was a regular subject in my former column at fab. He even guest wrote a couple of my columns, from his perspective.

My evolution into professional dominance started in my mid 20's, and was kind of organic as I moved forward. I discovered what my areas of expertise were, and nurtured them, and collected regular clients who liked what I did. I took several breaks from escorting throughout my 20's, because of other work, and for mental sanity, and when I returned to the business closer to 30 years old, I exclusively specialized in pro domination. Doing “regular” sexual services did not fit where my headspace was at the time. Of course there is often sexual behaviour included in BDSM, but I liked the distance that pro domming gave me, the control of the situation. I slowly started releasing clients in my early 30's, keeping only the ones that I enjoyed a lot. I have not ever officially retired, I still have one spanking client who calls me every couple years and if I'm available I'll give him a good beating, but my lifestyle and work make doing it not that viable. And I don't have that much interest in doing it.

BL: Why did you leave, Todd?  Was the thrill of it gone by then?

TK: I didn't do it for the thrill, and I didn't leave it because the thrill was gone. I did it for a lot of other reasons – wanted something that paid well while working on my writing, wanted to exploit my youth for my own benefit, probably some natural exhibitionism and narcissism, and a strong sense of the politics of it. I felt passionately from before I even placed my first ad about the importance of being one of the very few out male escorts. It bothered me that I saw very few examples of males who were in the gay scene, challenging the norms about sex work. I knew I had the strong foundation that my mother gave me, that I could do it, and not be ashamed, and handle it. It was like a personal challenge. I considered it for nearly a year before I started. I hung out with t-girl escorts, met some male street hustlers, other escorts, got my head around the situation before beginning.

BL:  After that, you had a strip club out in Mississauga, the Lounge, for a while, right? That seemed like a daring move at the time. Location-wise and concept-wise. I’m guessing it didn’t work out financially?

TK: Mandy Goodhandy is my business partner, and the creative and driving force behind much of what we do. She has a long history in the nightclub business, and yes, she is very, very daring. The Lounge was not ever officially my venture with her. I did not have the balls she had, in terms of a partnership. I had just gone bankrupt, and told her I would help her, be her right hand man, but I didn't want any official responsibilities. From a financial point of view, it was actually fairly low risk. We were renting the basement of a straight strip club. She had to pay for ads in the paper, but had already created an internet presence on her own, with Ladyplus.com (which has now evolved into a Mayhem North owned social networking site with more than 4,000 members, growing daily).

We started with shemale strippers, and it was quite lucrative from the beginning for everyone involved. The girls made very good money doing private dances, the cover charge was high, I worked as a DJ and waiter and got good tips, everything was good. It was very underground, in a remote location, but Mandy had the vision to know that Mississauga is actually the perfect place for a shemale strip event. Because it's straight suburban folks who are connoisseurs of the ladies “with something extra”. The location made it easy for guys to sneak in, have their experience, and leave without causing any suspicion.

We became world famous at that location – I am not being pretentious – Mandy's shemale events were known all over, because of the internet. We had people visit from Japan, all over the States, Europe. All to this, quite honestly, divey little basement party room in a pretty skeezy straight strip club. We actually kept the strippers running from 2002 to 2009, even the first 3 years that Goodhandy's was running. We only ended up eventually closing it because it was too challenging to manage both Goodhandy's the club, and the Lounge. We wanted everything to be under one roof.

BL:  I didn’t know that!  Anyway, then you went in to making porn, Mayhem North and webcam stuff like Amateur Canadian Guys. Tell me about that.

TK: The Lounge was a money maker for the shemale strippers. But we also ran male events, Mandy despises the word “stripper” and chose to promote them as “nude boys”. Those events had a cult following, but were never profitable. You cannot charge gay men high enough cover to make it worthwhile financially. But we were doing it to gather content for Mayhem North (which is a corporation held equally in equal partnership by me and Mandy). We started shooting scenes after hours at the Lounge, and shooting solo jerk off videos in this little tiny coat check room on a mini-van car seat that someone had left behind. It was all quite ghetto, but that became our aesthetic. We treated the models as people, well, because they are people. We weren't into plot-oriented porn, and just shot “boys being boys”.

BL: You used to write about porn in Xtra too. Tell me what you look for in porn you watch. Who is your favourite studio? Performer? Movie?

TK: My current favourite studio is Alexander Pictures. Porn is a personal thing. I just happen to quite appreciate black and latin men, and Alexander shoots all of his movies in Brazil. He also has a parallel line where he pretends that he's shooting middle eastern men (but really they are Brazilian). I kind of like that line too, I can get into the fantasy, because it's not like I understand the language anyways, and he's not trying to fool anyone. I like the fact that he is one of the mainstream studios who has achieved a great deal of success while still using condoms in their films. If I had to pick a favorite Alexander title, it'd be “Rio Blatinos” (but really, almost all of his movies have scenes I like).

BL: And your opinion of (bareback porn studio) Treasure Island Media?

TK: Not fond of Treasure Island on the surface, but I have not delved deeply into it to see how much they contexualize their sensibilities. I have issues with bareback porn, and mainly it's with the lack of contexualization. I'm pretty sure I would dislike Treasure Island, from what I've seen in this one documentary film made by the brother of one of it's stars. (It's called “Ryan Sullivan's Island” and it's interesting, as it makes no comment on the studio, it just shows a lot of behind the scene stuff, some of it disturbing).

BL: OK. I want to ask you a few questions about HIV. What responsibilities do sex on premises venues have towards HIV, do you think, or is it a matter strictly up to participants?

TK: I think that sex venues have a responsibility to provide complimentary condoms AND lube, to have adequate lighting, to do anything that they can do reasonably to assist in the dissemination of safer sex literature and supplies. I am involved in a couple sex positive events at my venue (though calling Goodhandy's “a sex club” as it is commonly called, is no longer accurate, in my opinion, because it is only something that is part of certain events, not all events). I do not, however, think that it is the responsibility of the venue to walk around and aim flashlights at peoples’ orifices and demand to know the context of the choice that has been made between two (hopefully) consenting adults.

BL: Let’s explore that a little but more, Todd. With bareback porn, the verdict is still out on how much watching it actually influences sexual behaviour. But what do you think of BB porn being shown in bath-houses for instance? Any issues there?

TK: That is a tricky one. I think it would be more responsible of a bathhouse to not show bareback porn. People could argue that people deserve choice, and I guess they could win that choice, but I would respect a bathhouse owner who made a point of not showing bareback porn. Again, it's context. I'm not against people taking educated risks in life. I'm not against people barebacking. I just find that the porn industry has embraced barebacking with little regard to what it might be doing to society. It's the way they promote it, it's the prevalence of it with no context. So yeah, I have issues with it, and with playing it in bathhouses.

BL: Do you think young gay men in particular think much about the prospect of getting HIV?

TK: No, I don't. I was speaking to some very young gay boys within the past couple years, and they had ludicrous notions of safer sex. And it made me realize that they had fallen through the cracks in terms of education. They thought that after a couple weeks with a guy, if you said you were “boyfriends”, then you couldn't catch HIV. I asked them about porn, and dug deeper, and it seemed they had been affected by bareback porn to the point where barebacking seemed normal to them. Again, it's about the context – if there was more context to bareback porn, it could even be educational. But it's presented as just something that people do I learned about safer sex in high school, in the early 1990's. It was a mandatory part of gym class. These kids I was talking to obviously had missed that class.

But I think probably the number one reason young people don't think about becoming positive is because there are so few examples of openly POZ people. I went for a few years without getting tested, and thought a lot about how I would react if I tested positive. I knew the challenge of the stigmas. When I tested negative, a very small, irrational part of me even wished that it had been the opposite, because I thought I could help. The thing is this: I run a nightclub, I was involved in the media, I am active in the anonymous sex world and have been for years (parks, bathhouses, online hookups), so I would say I'm not just your average queer guy. I come in contact with A LOT of people, thousands. And I can say that only recently I “know” more than 10 people who are openly POZ. It's not for me to say that people need to be public about their status. Absolutely not. But emotionally and intellectually, it is still something that I question, when I read the stats that show young people are still becoming POZ in fairly steady numbers. I question if things would be different if there were more POZ people out. I want to emphasize – I am very aware it's easy for me to say, and can't even guarantee I'd have the strength to overcome the stigma if I ever did test positive. I am on shaky political ground by even discussing this. But you asked me a question, and I have to answer it honestly.

BL: Well, thanks, Todd for that.  Now moving on a bit, last year you and Mandy were very much in the spotlight for accepting the role of grand marshals for the  (Toronto) Pride Parade after Alan Li stepped down on the free speech/QuAIA issue. You got mixed press for that. But I liked how you turned it into a chance to spotlight sex-positivity  - sex workers leading the parade and all that. Is all that over with, or do you think some people still are mad at you?

TK: I got a lot of support when we stood our ground, and when I communicated directly to people via several Facebook notes. People who had de-friended me on Facebook came up to me and apologized and told me they were just reacting in anger. I am sure some people still hold a grudge but it's not something that I see or think about much.

BL: Good. Now let’s talk about Goodhandys. It’s very much identified with you and Mandy. How did you meet Mandy first of all?

TK: I met her in an interesting situation. She had a photo-only website, one of the very first shemale porn sites in the world. She needed a male model to wear a mask, and be on a leash. I was that male model. I then became friends with her, and became her resident photographer.

BL: You describe Goodhandy’s as a pansexual playground. Tell me what that means? Tell me what to expect if I arrived there for the first time, say, and it was a LadyPlus party night?

TK: We use the term pansexual playground because pansexual encompasses the whole spectrum of sexuality. We are proud that we've worked with lesbian promoters, queer promoters of all types, nudists, fetishists, and even most recently, we now are working with a straight promoter for an electronic music night.

The Ladyplus parties are nights that provide a discreet place for people (mainly men and couples, but also some ladies) who are sexually attracted to t-girls. And a social space for t-girls and their admirers and supporters also. The sex at Ladyplus parties happens only behind closed doors, in private booths. The energy is sexually charged, because cruising and hooking up are a big part of the environment and atmosphere, but it's also very relaxed and chill. The most common comment I get from our clientele is how mellow the place is, how comfortable the atmosphere is. The guys who like t-girls are often very conflicted about their desires. You know, “What does it mean that I like girls with dicks? Am I gay? Am I bi? Who am I?”  I totally sympathize with these dudes and have really gotten to bond with them and appreciate the uniqueness of their sexual orientation. So yeah, a Ladyplus party is a pretty unpretentious and comfortable environment, and of course as the night progresses it can also get pretty wild and interesting – t-girls are quite flamboyant and exciting and entertaining, and the girls like to dance and show off (we have 2 stripper poles).

BL: Have to admit I’ve never been there, but I’m from out of town. Is it all ages? I mean I’m getting on a bit. Would I feel out of place there?

We are primarily a promoter venue. Let me explain what that means. A “gay bar”, for example, a place like Woody's in Toronto, is a gay bar, 7 days a week. The theme is predictable, customers know what they are getting when they go there, 7 days a week. Maybe there will be a different show or something subtle, but you know it's primarily a gay bar for gay guys, a pub setting, and that's what made it an institution. We are a venue that makes itself available for promoters of all walks of life. So I always tell people “Make sure you check our website before you come by, or you may walk into an all naked men-only party, or a fetish party”. Some people like the surprise, of course, and we have cross-over from event to event, people who have just grown to love the atmosphere. Many of our clientele are “getting on a bit”. Even the younger gay dance parties have older customers, I think it's comfortable for all.

BL: Good to hear.  Now, I like your tattoos. Who did them? You have six sets of horizontal bands around your arms, all black except one that‘s red. What does that mean?

TK: All of my tattoos except for one were done by Matthew Ellis, of Seven Crowns Tattoo. We went to school together and I like how he works. The bands mean absolutely nothing, they are just decorative. One is red, because when he did the outline for one of the black ones, he used a red sharpie, and I thought “hey, one of them would look kind of cool in red”.

BL: You’ve written one book already (Tacones) and of course it did very well. Ever thought of writing your life story? 

TK: I am interested in writing, but less so in the traditional forms. I’m a big fan of the internet and self publishing and consider even doing interviews like this part of telling my life story. Maybe one day I will write memoirs, after the fact, when I won't get in trouble for telling the whole truth.

BL: Looking back on your life, Todd, what are you most proud of?

TK: I'm most proud of being able to live a creative, evolutionary, organic life, and not having to work for other people. I love running a nightclub and still being involved in the media in my own way and having the autonomy that that sort of lifestyle brings.

BL: Great job! Thanks for talking with us Todd. We really appreciate it, and how candid you’ve been. And good luck with all you’re doing.