Sex and Sexuality

My first serodiscordant relationship

published: April, 13, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

Brian Ledford aka “A Marine with HIV“ falls in love with an HIV-negative guy – and it’s working. Says Brian “We all deserve to be happy in our lives and nothing including HIV should stop us from finding it.”

My first serodiscordant relationship

Not too long ago I started talking to this really awesome guy on the social media app. Moovz.  If you do not know about this app, it is for the LGBTQ community.  I was nervous as hell when he was actually interested in me.  We talked back and forth for a while and I finally decided before we even went on our first date to ask him if he knew about my status.  Now usually in the past when a guy has found out about my HIV status, they typically run in the other direction and I never hear from

Trans comedy – Bob Leahy Reviews No Strings (Attached)

published: March, 19, 2016 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Arts and Entertainment, Performances, Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

Writer and actor Sunny Drake brings his one-(trans) man show to Toronto’s Buddies in Bad Times Theatre

Trans comedy – Bob Leahy Reviews No Strings (Attached)

It’s an engaging premise. The audience are at a meeting of Romance-aholics Anonymous. Latecomer Jimmy, played by the talented Sunny Drake, pops out of the audience ludicrously dressed and carrying flowers, his turn to share his story, having been lured there by a Craig’s List ad. And does Sunny share! And share!  Jimmy is an athletic, hyper-active sexually obsessed nerd, thankfully a likeable one, who takes us into his confidence with a succession of wacky tales illustrating his mostly h

Mea Culpa: the role of guilt in being poz

published: March, 14, 2016 Written by // Félix Garmendía Categories // African, Caribbean and Black, Health, Sexual Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Félix Garmendía

Felix Garmendia doesn't sweat it but says "It was probably guilt that drove me to an early promiscuous period in my life that opened the doors to my HIV infection"

Mea Culpa: the role of guilt in being poz

It is always interesting to me to listen to a person's version of the alleged events around how they contracted HIV. I have discussed this issue in my life more than a few times - with friends, therapists, doctors, potential sex partners, even post sexual liaison conversations. Personally, I have always thought that, for most sexually active people, it is frustrating and futile to obsess over the specifics of “who, what, where, why”. Also, over the years, I have he

Steven Boone gets 14 years in jail!

published: March, 10, 2016 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Current Affairs, Legal, Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

Ottawa HIV criminalization case involving incriminating online chats attracts stiff sentence

Steven Boone gets 14 years in jail!

I learned today via The AIDS Committee of Ottawa (ACO), that yesterday Steven  Boone, 34, a man living with HIV whose case PositiveLite.com has been following for several years,  was sentenced to 14 years in prison. He was found guilty of attempted murder, aggravated sexual assault and the administration of a noxious substance.  It was alleged that he did not disclose his status to some of those he had sex with. The "noxious substance" was his semen, involving three young men, including a

Identity of TC Pomeroy, our sex columnist, unveiled….

published: March, 10, 2016 Written by // Matt Levine Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Matt Levine

“You’re only as sick as your secrets” says an out-of-the closet PositiveLite.com columnist Matt Levine

Identity of TC Pomeroy, our sex columnist, unveiled….

The big reveal Until recently I thought of myself as damaged goods. I’m 54, been out of the closet since I was 17 and yet have only enjoyed sex about as many times as the number of fingers on my hand.    This is the secret that spawned my alias, the pseudonym of a mostly well adjusted, extremely fit and healthy HIV-positive gay man who can’t get laid - or maybe just loves to complain about it.  I decided to write anonymously because at the age of 54 my sexual and romantic life were c

After diagnosis: what happens next?

published: March, 09, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, Research, Sexual Health, Health, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

Researcher Sarah Chown writes about understanding the impact of HIV among recently diagnosed gay men in Vancouver

After diagnosis: what happens next?

Background In April 2009, the CIHR Team for the Study of Acute HIV Infection in Gay Men helped to bring a new HIV testing technology, called the early HIV test, to Vancouver. The early HIV test can diagnose HIV during the acute infection period, a time when most HIV tests cannot detect infection due to limitations in testing technology. The acute infection period refers to the initial weeks and months of HIV infection during which there are very high amounts of HIV in the body. The early HIV

The Test: Reaching out to heterosexual Black men about HIV and health through video

published: March, 08, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // African, Caribbean and Black, Research, Sexual Health, Health, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

From the iSpeak research study comes a short film about one heterosexual Black man’s decision to get tested for HIV, and his anxiety about the possibility of being HIV-positive

The Test: Reaching out to heterosexual Black men about HIV and health through video

The Test is a six minute video about one heterosexual Black man’s decision to get tested for HIV, and his anxiety about the possibility of being HIV-positive. The Test highlights his journey, and the inner tensions about being a man who is concerned about HIV, his health and the health of people close to him. Despite his apprehension, he is determined to get tested.  In addition to promoting HIV testing among heterosexual Black men, The Test encourages them to reflect on their ide

Nine point one hours per week

published: March, 02, 2016 Categories // Social Media, Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

From ouragenda.ca, Mike Mikshe gives up on hookup apps for finding his fantasy guy, confronts the prospect of social isolation and finds there is life out there after all

Nine point one hours per week

I’d always had this idea in my head about the sort of guy I wanted to meet on hook-up apps: older, taller, in shape but not too muscular, kinky and dominant yet nurturing and intelligent—I could go on. I’d spend hours, week after week searching for this type of guy. It became an addiction and, of course, I never found this fantasy man. I read that gay men spend 9.1 hours on average a week looking for sex online. I couldn't believe it at first but when I added up all the time I'd spend on

Why HIV stigma has kept me virginal

published: February, 23, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, Youth, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

From FS Magazine what happened to this HIV-negative gay man when South-Asian cultural standards met the gay sex scene

Why HIV stigma has kept me virginal

This article by Vish @vishdelishuk first appeared in the UK’s FS Magazine, a publication of GMFA, here.  These last few months, the tabloids have been buzzing about a certain high profile celebrity who is HIV-positive. And, by god, the reporting around it was messy. Before the story broke, gossip laced with accusations and hostile finger pointing made the rounds. A common theme on Twitter was along the lines of “well what do you expect, if you sleep around, you catch shit”. This judge

When things get R-rated - long-term commitment.

published: February, 22, 2016 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Jason Cole, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Monogamy, open, polyamory, other - there are lots of relationship styles. But Jason R Cole asks “are HIVers afraid of being in a committed, long-term relationship? If so, why?”

When things get R-rated - long-term commitment.

"Long term commitment." It is a frightening phrase for many queers. I count myself as one of them, once upon a time.  Years ago, I was afraid of what commitment symbolized: being bound to someone else, with little or no escape. You see, back in my early 20s I was an expert escape artist when it came to relationships - although, I did end up dragging my lovers down with a whole lot of drama and self-destructive behaviour. I didn’t know better at the time.  In my mid-20s, I was married to

Sex Ed

published: February, 18, 2016 Written by // Alex Sparrowhawk Categories // Activism, Gay Men, Youth, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Alex Sparrowhawk

Our UK correspondent Alex Sparrowhawk surveys the scene and says “Give the Government an F”

Sex Ed

Young people should be learning in schools, not learning from their mistakes. The UK Government’s decision this week regarding statutory Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education (PSHE) and Sex and Relationships Education (SRE) is more than just a failure to teach young adults on how to put a condom on. It’s reckless and il conceived; young people more than ever need guidance and understanding regarding sex and relationships but instead of being taught in schools they’re learning

Dear HIV-negative men...

published: February, 16, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

On dating, hooking up and relationships and dealing with stigma while undetectable. From FS Magazine’s latest naked edition, these HIV-positive men want to talk to you

Dear HIV-negative men...

This article by Stuart Haggas @GetStuart with photography by Chris Jepson © www.chrisjepson.com first appeared In FS Magazine, a publication of GMFA, here.  KISS MY STATUS What would you bare all for? Getting naked seems a sure-fire way to get attention, which is why the Warwick Rowers, red hot redheads, rugby teams, farmers, scaffolders and prison guards are just some of the real-life guys who’ve stripped off to raise awareness for all kinds of causes – often with a fundraising cale

Toronto’s OutNPoz growing by leaps and bounds

published: February, 03, 2016 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Community Events, Dating, Activism, Gay Men, Events, Features and Interviews, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

When a social group grows from 180 to 430 members in one year you know something's right. And opportunities for Toronto poz gay guys to mix and mingle are growing further, says OutNPoz chair Scott Nickerson in this interview with Bob Leahy

Toronto’s OutNPoz growing by leaps and bounds

Bob Leahy: Thanks for talking to PositiveLite.com, Scott. I’ve wanted to meet you for ages but we’ve always just missed each other. Anyway, I want to start by asking the obvious question: what is the need that OutNPoz is filling? Scott Nickerson: Well, one of the concerns we have is that people living with HIV have become “clientized” – there are all kinds of services available through AIDS Service Organizations and such – but there is no one who focuses on the social aspect. We h

Dating, sex and HIV

published: January, 26, 2016 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Toronto guy Josh, diagnosed in 2014, has decided “I’m happier staying away from dating and I’m happier staying away from sex.”

Dating, sex and HIV

Hoo boy – this is going to be fun to write. I say that because I’m writing on a rather personal topic, and I know for a fact that close friends and a colleague have this link. So… enjoy this one, friends!  On June 9, 2014, I received my HIV diagnosis. From that day forward, I have been single and I have been abstinent. Both of these things have been choices I’ve made for my own well-being and at first, the abstinence decision was made from a place of fear – fear of infecting someon

Tiny explosion of panic

published: January, 25, 2016 Categories // Activism, Women, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

No condoms, no PrEP. Poppy Morgan on her latest efforts to conceive with her HIV-positive husband. “There have been a few times when the thought crossed my mind..."What if I got HIV from him?" It’s weird when that happens.”

Tiny explosion of panic

I ovulated last week and we had condom-less sex in hopes of conceiving. We've done this before, but this time it was different.  This time, I wasn't on PrEP! It has taken us years to get to this point, and we both felt very comfortable with this decision. The last time I thought I could go through with condom-less sex, it ended up that I couldn't. As I mentioned before, I am starting to trust the science about how low my risk is because he has an undetectable viral load. Of course, I gotta

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