Sex and Sexuality

Shame

published: September, 24, 2012 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

An anonymous writer reveals his secret, saying "this post is part of my conviction that the only way I will survive and thrive is if I pull things out into the shadows, shine the light and share them with others."

Shame

“Shame is a soul eating emotion” – C.G. Jung “The difference between guilt and shame is very clear – in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.” – Lewis B. Smedes, Shame and Grace.  I have a secret. More specifically, I have a new secret. One that feels so deep and dark that I can‘t bring myself to discuss it openly. I can’t even bring myself to publish this post under my own name; there is just that much shame around it. I’m sure some of my

I’m Not Your Daddy!

published: September, 21, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Dave R writes...expert advice tells us to be honest in our profiles because you’ll be found out in reality anyway but what happens when nobody reads further than the first line and you’re taken for something you’re not?

I’m Not Your Daddy!

Ever since I was young and wet behind the ears, I’ve always fallen for men of my own age or older and despite the rapid advance of the so-called golden years, (it had to be a yuppie, real-estate shark who came up with that term; probably to describe the residents of his ‘Shady Pines’ retirement complex) that still applies. I still surf the Net and have a few active profiles although it’s more to fill the time and satisfy my curiosity than a serious attempt to hook up. It takes me abou

Obaaberima

published: September, 21, 2012 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Youth, Performances, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

A queer immigrant's tale, Buddies in Bad Times' novel season opener excites and entertains.

Obaaberima

Obaaberima: a derogatory term meaning girlyboy or girl boy. There is theatrical magic on stage in Buddies in Bad Times Theatre's latest offering that opened the season last night.  It’s called Obaaberima, a one man show written and acted by newcomer Tawiah M’carthy. He’s one to watch. The story is simple but rich.  We are in a Canadian prison cell where a Ghanaian immigrant is at the end of a three year term.  He is about to be released but before that happens he has a story to tell

Still talking about Sex

published: September, 19, 2012 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Youth, Sexual Health, Health, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

AIDS New Brunswick's Matt Smith: Let’s Talk about Sex, and Let’s Try and Keep the Clichés to a Minimum – Oh Hey There Students. Take Some Condoms!

Still talking about Sex

Remember that time we were first year students? Yeah, neither do I. I was until quite recently an undergraduate student. I was new to this city, and most importantly I was far, far away from home. The residence I lived in was filled about 75% with first year students, most of who were in the same boat as I was. Full disclosure, we were disgusting. Broken glass, our feet sticking to…well, we don’t want to know what our feet were sticking to, do we? And instead of socks on doorknobs we used

Coming out trans

published: September, 17, 2012 Categories // Sex and Sexuality

Wes Austin has variously identified as "bisexual, to lesbian, to queer, asexual, trans, gay and nearly everything in between." Here he comes out trans to his parents.

The veil of self-indulgence was rent from head to foot. I saw my life as a whole.”   Robert Louis Stevenson I have a confession to make, and regular readers may have already figured this out. I’m a storyteller. My stories are factual in nature and always taken from my own experiences. Sometimes that story is supportive and helpful, more often it’s one driven by fear and uncertainty. When I was in my 20’s, I was seeing a girl. Now in my day-to-day life, this wasn’t a big deal.

Putting a number on it: The risk from an exposure to HIV

published: September, 14, 2012 Written by // CATIE - HIV and Hep C Info Resource Categories // CATIE, Sexual Health, Health, Sex and Sexuality , CATIE - HIV and Hep C Info Resource

Service providers working in HIV prevention are often asked by their patients and clients about the risk of HIV transmission from an exposure to HIV through sex. What do the latest studies tell us about this risk?

Putting a number on it: The risk from an exposure to HIV

This article by James Wilton first appeared in Prevention in Focus, a publication of CATIE. Une version française est disponible ici.  Service providers working in HIV prevention are often asked by their patients and clients about the risk of HIV transmission from an exposure to HIV through sex. What do the latest studies tell us about this risk? And how should we interpret and communicate the results? Challenges in calculating a number It isn’t easy for researchers to calculate the r

To Jann

published: September, 05, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

No bitterness. New writer David Phillips with a letter to “the one”, the man who infected him thirty years ago

To Jann

Has it really been thirty years and four days? There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think of how you’re doing, of if you’re still standing.  What started as afterglow turned to craving. Craving mellowed into fond memories.  You were far from my first, but you’ll forever be among the best...for so many reasons.  And you’ll always be “THE ONE”!  Some think it’s crazy, some call it ‘wrong.’ I insist that HOT IS HOT.  End of story.  Do you still stand tall and bro

Sex And The Positive Single Senior

published: August, 31, 2012 Categories // Aging, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality

Dave R writes...In a gay world as obsessed by sex as ever, the need for intimacy doesn’t end at fifty. The spectre of isolation and exclusion can drive positive older men, to seek out physical contact and closeness.

Sex And The Positive Single Senior

Every life deserves a certain amount of dignity, no matter how poor or damaged the shell that carries it.”  Rick Bragg, ‘All Over But the Shoutin' I say this with shame but when I was in my twenties, the idea of ‘old guys’ having sex with each other was pretty horrifying; it was like imagining your parents on top of each other...the stuff of nightmares! At that age, you never think about getting old yourself, or your body losing its shape and your skin resembling elephant hide and th

I’m outta Love…

published: August, 31, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Nathaniel Casco: “I wanted to share with you another vulnerable side of my life that many don’t see or even know about. It is something I disguise well every day and if you ever met me, you would think I was okay.”

(Warning: this is not a self-help article. It’s not based on any medical research. And it is definitely not a guide to finding love. Now that we have cleared this up, let me talk about what it is…) I wanted to share with you another vulnerable side of my life that many don’t see or even know about. It is something I disguise well every day and if you ever met me, you would think I was okay. It isn't easy living with HIV+. There is so much to consider and take into account let alone tr

The Bareback Contradiction

published: August, 22, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Health, Sexual Health, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Christopher Banks asks why men bareback. "We’re long overdue for some collective discussion on this. Alongside the instruction to “love” your condom, we need to hear from real-life men telling us why they do – or don’t."

In a recent post about the Bareback Brotherhood (BBBH)  movement, I expressed deep concerns about the motivations behind its founder, Mark Bentson, and some of the practices which seem to be endorsed – either directly or indirectly – by his writings: the horror-film scenarios of “stealthing” and “gifting”.  There are, of course, many men who engage in bareback sex consensually without sociopathic tendencies.  They find it erotic, and aligning themselves with the BBBH movement i

A trans narrative

published: August, 14, 2012 Categories // Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality

Wes Austin on why he writes: “I try to think what history the trans community has and I come up blank.” So he wants his trans brothers and sisters to join him in telling their stories.

"The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community"  – William James In my last post, I touched on that touchy topic of pre-transition history and it got me thinking about why I’m even writing the posts that I do. With folks like Chaz Bono and Stephen Ira Beatty in the public spotlight, why do I even bother to write about my ho-hum, everyday life? For one very, simple reason: narrative.  More importantly, at least

Homophobia in the family

published: August, 09, 2012 Written by // Wayne Bristow - Positive Life Categories // Gay Men, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Wayne Bristow

Wayne Bristow says “I thought I was living comfortably without homophobia from my family and friends. It turns out I was enjoying a false sense of security with some of my family members.”

Homophobia in the family

I just found out homophobia has been living and festering in my family. I came out to my family and friends 21 years ago at the age of 37 and I believed it wasn't a big deal with anyone in my family. Over the years we’ve had many reunions; Christmas and holidays together, nothing was discussed, no one asked me anything, not even "why did it took so long to come out"? At one time, it was suggested that I was just going through a phase. (Umm, hiding was the phase.)  It turns out I was enjo

In Search of Bodily Fluids

published: August, 02, 2012 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

Bob Leahy on the popularity - or not – of used condoms – and our odd relationship to bodily fluids in general, which vacillates between clinical interest, eroticism and disgust

In Search of Bodily Fluids

I was looking at Google Analytics the other day, a program which sites like PositivelIte.com use to analyze traffic to their sites.  And there it was, one of the more popular search terms internet browsers have apparnetly used in the last month to find PositiveLite.com: “Used Condoms for sale.” Turns out a year-old article of mine happened to mention, in passing, “used condoms for sale”  - it's a long story why - and those search words have apparently directed a gaggle of goo

Stealth – not just for fighter jets

published: July, 30, 2012 Categories // Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality

Wes Austin on his trans journey: “I believe there comes a point in nearly every trans person’s life where they must decide what to do with their personal, pre-transition history.”

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again Maya Angelou I believe there comes a point in nearly every trans person’s life where they must decide what to do with their personal, pre-transition history. I have wrestled with this choice in the past and I continue to wrestle with every time I meet someone new. I need to decide if I am going to own my past or shun it. The choice before me is daunting. On one hand, owning my past c

Is “Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend” the Most Important Gay Porn Film Ever Made?

published: July, 26, 2012 Written by // Mark S. King - My Fabulous Disease Categories // Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Movies, Health, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Mark S. King

No condoms. Mark S. King with an important essay on the role of bareback porn in gay men’s sexual health, then and now.

Is “Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend” the Most Important Gay Porn Film Ever Made?

The annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco is noted for its unbridled embrace of every star in our sexual constellation. Even the fearless leather community that founded the event can sometimes appear tame amidst the outlandish kinks and clothing – and lack thereof – on display along the city’s tilted streets. In the middle of this rowdy bacchanalia in the fall of 2003, Paul Morris stood at the booth for Treasure Island Media (TIM), the gay porn outfit he founded that features unpro

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