Lifestyle

Republishing "Fuck poz guys!" Has the message sunk in yet? We think not.

published: June, 16, 2016 Categories // Activism, Dating, Gay Men, Health, Sexual Health, Lifestyle, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Marc-André LeBlanc asks if you’re a neg guy is it safer to have sex with poz guys or neg guys? Limit your condomless sex to poz guys with undetectable viral loads and avoid condomless sex with casual negative partners he suggests.

Republishing

PositiveLite.com Editor's note: This article, now over three years old, has been read by more people in PositiveLite.com's six-year history than any other. When Marc-André LeBlanc wrote it, the view expressed - that undetectable poz guys were a much safer bet than neg guys realized - was groundbreaking. It's since become mainstream - and yet not. Anybody who is undetectable who has been rejected by a "neg" guy seeking a "safe" partner knows it. Many neg guys still think that going with anot

"No offence... but I'm not looking to date poz guys"

published: June, 09, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Dating, Activism, Gay Men, International , Revolving Door, Guest Authors, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces

From FS Magazine, guest author Ruaidhri O’Baoill says, "I need to make it my mission to educate, not discriminate."

This article by Ruaidhri O’Baoill @RuaidhriOB is from FS Magazine, a publication of the UK’s GMFA, here. Republished with permission. Last year I sat down and wrote an article on how coming out of the ‘viral closet’ was one of the best things I have ever done. The idea that nearly two years after my diagnosis I would be very publicly open about my HIV status is incredible. By incredible I mean I know how low and depressed I was feeling right at the beginning. I don’t say it eno

Medical marijuana activism in NYC

published: May, 26, 2016 Written by // Félix Garmendía Categories // Activism, Alternative Therapies, Gay Men, Mental Health, Health, International , Treatment, Lifestyle, Population Specific , Félix Garmendía

Our NYC guy Felix Garmendia recalls with affection and pride his days with the NYC Buyers' Club

Medical marijuana activism in NYC

"I wouldn’t say the weed made me HIGH, but it did manage to wrap me in an aura of relaxation, comfort and serenity. My mind drifted to a peaceful place, far from the horrors of working in a putrid system that just doesn’t work." I have used the “herb” for decades now. It was introduced to me by my “paraprofessional” (teacher’s helper) when I was a New York City school teacher, working in the Bronx in the early 1990s.  One Friday afternoon Miss Rodriguez saw me resting my head

Life lessons: seeing beyond the "quick fix" impulse

published: May, 23, 2016 Categories // Mental Health, Women, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces

New contributing author Lolo says, "Using the word “should” positions me/us to disappoint others or ourselves."

Life lessons: seeing beyond the

"Living with a condition that, in Canada, we are able to classify as chronic and manageable is both a blessing and an ongoing challenge. Bringing about “slight or subtle adjustments” in thinking and doing, such as the ones I discuss, can be instructive and gratifying." Last weekend, one of my two breakfast companions (I will call him David-the-first) was exasperated with himself. He explained that for months during the past winter he had not been feeling well enough to go to the gym as h

A film about long term survivors: into the desert, after the bomb

published: May, 19, 2016 Written by // Mark S. King - My Fabulous Disease Categories // Aging, Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Movies, International , Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Mark S. King

Mark S. King calls Daniel Cardone’s Desert Migration “an almost clinical look at the after-effects of a catastrophe.”

A film about long term survivors: into the desert, after the bomb

Daniel Cardone’s essential but relentlessly grim documentary about longtime AIDS survivors, Desert Migration, is fascinated with the bodies of the gay men it profiles. The film begins with lingering shots of each of the subjects as they begin their day.  It follows them through their routine, some of them naked, as they prepare breakfast, shower, shave, meditate. Their faces peer directly at us — a few of them handsome, all of them weathered — in high definition close-up. We are bein

Indulging your inner bacon habit

published: May, 11, 2016 Written by // Wayne Bristow - Positive Life Categories // Food, Nutrition and Recipes, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Wayne Bristow

Our Wayne Bristow is well known for being a bit of a bacon freak. Here he shares a recipe for Bacon Wrapped Shrimp

Indulging your inner bacon habit

It’s only one of my vices, but if I were to ask my followers on Facebook to name one thing they know about me, I believe the most common response would be that I like bacon. And I know my bacon. It doesn’t come from a turkey, not all bacon bits are real bacon bits and what the hell is Bacon Vodka? Almost daily one of those followers will post a recipe, something funny or a true fact on the benefits of eating bacon. Two years ago I received $25 worth of bacon for a Christmas gift - best C

On being poz and giving up smoking

published: May, 03, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Health, Smoking Cessation , Revolving Door, Lifestyle, Guest Authors, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces

Guest writer Rob Newman with “Looking back … looking ahead” in which he says I am proud of my accomplishment and all too aware of the proverbial slippery slope that can so often face someone struggling in addiction “

On being poz and giving up smoking

“All forms of addiction come with varying levels of stigma. What was happening to me, to my body, to my very life was addiction pure and simple.”  Before I started blogging I used to write for an online HIV magazine PositiveLite.com. I highly recommend this site; it is always current and informative. I wrote for PositiveLite.com for over two years and as I look back on the various articles and topics I wrote of there is this glaring truth that I wrote a lot on the subject of my many atte

Living with HIV in New York - and the people you meet

published: May, 02, 2016 Written by // Félix Garmendía Categories // Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Félix Garmendía

Our prolific writer Felix Garmendia introduces some of the characters that intersect with his daily like – and what they mean to him

Living with HIV in New York - and the people you meet

Introduction On our way home from the doctor, four years ago, when the issue of marriage equality in New York was still controversial, another New Yorker taught me a lesson. This pocket of Manhattan is a village of diversity. The area is known as Washington Heights and has been the home of a vibrant Jewish community since the 1930s. The area is also the home of more Dominicans than Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. It was a typical crisp autumn day, getting chillier as the sun was get

Pets and living with HIV: Rodney and me

published: April, 28, 2016 Written by // Rob Olver - Editor Categories // Pets, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Rob Olver - Editor

Peterborough, Ontario’s Robert Olver tells us why animals are good for you and says “If I could make any recommendation at all to someone diagnosed with HIV or to anyone else for that matter, it would be this: love someone.” Or something.

Pets and living with HIV: Rodney and me

"But I am saying that if they offer you the chance, then love them for what they are and care for them for all you’re worth." In the spirit of full disclosure I should let you know that living with HIV is only one piece of my particular puzzle. You see, I also live with depression, C. O. P. D., a vascular disruption to my legs and the onset of old age. Luckily for me, I also live with the two handsome devils pictured.  I’d like you to meet Little One (l) and Rodney (r). Little One was n

Giving up a career in HIV work – but what instead?

published: April, 28, 2016 Categories // Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces

Don Short with “From nowhere to now here” says “I have come home to myself and I’m experiencing clarity in my decisions and goals. “

Giving up a career in HIV work – but what instead?

You can feel it in the air…cold temperatures giving way to sunny, spring days.  Smiles return to people you pass on the street, barbecues are brought out from their storage, and you can hear the sounds of kids playing again outside.  I welcome all of it.  Last year, I didn’t welcome spring. Weather was irrelevant and had no influence on my slump. I was experiencing an inner wasteland that was tricky to navigate. The desire for a breakthrough was alive and well, but imagining that kind

A writer returns – with a hi after a hiatus

published: April, 25, 2016 Written by // Christian Dolan Categories // Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Christian Dolan

The UK’s Christian Dolan survives a serodiscordant relationship breakup, a broken ankle and a very public naked photo shoot to return to writing for PositiveLite.com

A writer returns – with a hi after a hiatus

It has been a while since I wrote my last article. For those who like precision, it has been exactly 593 days since I last put ‘finger to keyboard’ and thrashed out my thoughts and feelings.  Where was I at this time?  After what felt like the longest 6-8 weeks of my life, I was at the end stages of wearing my protective boot after breaking my ankle at a musical festival being an idiot roller skating to 70’s disco music. This confined me to being indoors a lot for the duration of tha

Nine ways to survive an open relationship

published: April, 21, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Revolving Door, Lifestyle, Guest Authors, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific

The UK’s FS Magazine decided to knock up a guide to help you negotiate your relationship, whether it’s already open or you’re thinking about opening it up.

Nine ways to survive an open relationship

This article by Ian Howley @ianhowley first appeared in the UK’s FS Magazine, a publication of GMFA here.  “Open relationships are not real relationships”. “Gay men are greedy”. “You can’t truly love someone if you can have sex with other men”. You name it, we’ve heard it.  Everyone seems to have an opinion about open relationships, but not many will tell you how to make them work for you. Every relationship, whether you’re open or closed, needs some groundwork. Here at

Combining life with a disability with LGBT pride

published: April, 21, 2016 Written by // Félix Garmendía Categories // Activism, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Félix Garmendía

Out NYC poz guy Felix Garmendia says “For the longest time, I wanted an LGBT symbol to decorate my wheelchair”. So he did it –and immediately got noticed.

Combining life with a disability with LGBT pride

For the longest time, I wanted an LGBT symbol to decorate my wheelchair. I thought about a pink triangle, in the tradition of paying homage to all those LGBT concentration camp victims of WW2. For those of you who are not familiar with the pink triangle history, it was the Nazi's way of “tagging” LGBT people. LGBT prisoners in concentration camps were identified by a pink triangle sewn onto their prison uniforms.  Another very well known symbol of gay pride is our rainbow flag. “The r

My first serodiscordant relationship

published: April, 13, 2016 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Revolving Door, Lifestyle, Guest Authors, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Brian Ledford aka “A Marine with HIV“ falls in love with an HIV-negative guy – and it’s working. Says Brian “We all deserve to be happy in our lives and nothing including HIV should stop us from finding it.”

My first serodiscordant relationship

Not too long ago I started talking to this really awesome guy on the social media app. Moovz.  If you do not know about this app, it is for the LGBTQ community.  I was nervous as hell when he was actually interested in me.  We talked back and forth for a while and I finally decided before we even went on our first date to ask him if he knew about my status.  Now usually in the past when a guy has found out about my HIV status, they typically run in the other direction and I never hear from

I did it on my own

published: April, 12, 2016 Written by // Félix Garmendía Categories // Gay Men, Spirituality, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Félix Garmendía

New Yorker Felix Garmendia has rejected organized religion in favour of his own code of ethics and says this has given him “the liberty to experience things I would have never experienced if I remained chained to their strict ethical codes"

I did it on my own

I don’t have any use for any influence in my life that will dictate what’s “right” or “wrong”; I have been in that place many times.  Organized religion has been one example where that simplistic dichotomy of life has been presented to me on a silver platter. I refuse to partake in that ritual of archaic or synthetic codes of ethics that point out and expect me to blindly follow flawed judgments of what they perceive as “good” or “bad” in life.  I was always a free thi

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