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Apr02

Not saying no

Thursday, 02 April 2015 Written by // Positively Dating Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Pets, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Positively Dating

Our Positively Dating has a new male in his life. But it hasn’t stopped him from no longer saying “no” to others.

Not saying no

I have been living my life even more like a hermit since becoming a single dad of the sweetest pitbull pup. I finally had a real excuse not to go out - “Oh I’m sorry I have to go home and walk the dog.” I would stay at home alone with my trusty pup and all was right with the world. Well…all was right except for my love life. 

Roughly two months ago, when we had our first glimmer of nice weather and, before we got another load of snow dumped on us, I caught a bit pf spring fever. I made the decision to not say no. I was going to accept any and all invitations and re-join the normal human race. No matter how much I want to stay home and cuddle with Mr. Bingley (my pitt). 

Soon after I made this declaration, one of my favorite people at my crossfit gym invited all the gay boys there (which is a lot) to go to this dance club for his birthday. It was called Brüt. Take whatever imagery you have in your mind that the name evokes, and you pretty much have the essence of the party. Now this was typically not my scene, but I jumped at the chance and had an amazing time. There were half naked sweaty boys dancing all around me, how couldn’t I have an amazing time? I was even cajoled to take of my shirt, which I promptly put back on in 30 minutes, but I was still proud none the less! 

Later, further resisting the charms of another evening on my couch with Mr. Bingley, I accepted an invitation to The Eagle - New York’s leather bar. Again, not my normal choice, but I found myself letting go and having fun. I believe I may be the only guy in NYC that doesn’t own a harness.  Come to think of it, even my dog has one! 

And then two weeks ago, I found myself at a party in Brooklyn called “Horse Meat Disco.” While I spent the night dancing with my friends, I noticed this shockingly hot blonde bearded muscle guy eyeing me up and down. My drunk-ass friends - who have no rhythm - were unintentionally cock blocking him with what can only be loosely described as dancing. Luckily for me he was persistent and he found me. As if his slightly gingerish beard, blue eyes and insanely muscular body weren’t enough, he was British!! We started talking. Now, this is where the wheels came off the horse for me… 

Sometimes I shouldn’t be allowed to open my mouth.  It came up like verbal diarrhea,  how much I love the Brits and how obsessed I am with Jane Austen. I told him that I named my pitbull after a Jane Austen character. And to add insult to injury, I even showed him my Jane Austen quote tattoo. He smiled and said that his mother lives in Bath (where Jane Austen lived!) and right then and there I made him give me his number. 

I don’t know what took over me. I think it was in my seeing my upcoming nuptials on the very land that Jane Austen wrote that made me go a step too far. Again, sometimes I shouldn’t be allowed to talk or more importantly, text. Yes I texted him before I left the club and he didn’t respond. Fine. Ok. Honestly, I was just happy that it happened in the first place. Maybe a party called “Horse Meat Disco” isn’t the best place to go husband hunting. Hmmm? 

But I won’t let that stop me from not saying no. I mean, I didn’t say no when two insanely sexy men from Montreal with broken English, who were in New York for the Black Party, asked me to have a threesome with them. I also didn’t say no when that threesome lasted an additional three times. Let’s just say that I am now a BIG believer in not saying no. You just never know what might happen. 

(Note to self: Visit Montreal.  Soon.) 

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