Subscribe to our RSS feed

Popular News Stories

  • Fuck poz guys!
  • Tom Hanks in Philadelphia Changed my Life
  • Canadian AIDS Society’s AGM and PHA Forum in Ottawa: some scholarships for HIVers available
  • Semen goes viral – or does it?
  • BareBackRT.com  - the interview

Fitness and Exercise

Nov08

Why I still (kinda, sorta) go to the gym

Saturday, 08 November 2014 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, Fitness and Exercise, Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Revolving Door, Guest Authors

My refuge. From POZ magazine, blogger Bruce Ward on how the gym has helped him cope as a long-term survivor.

Why I still (kinda, sorta) go to the gym

This is an excerpt from an article by Bruce Ward that first appeared on POZ here.   

Through my thirty years of living with HIV, there has been one consistency.

Relationships and friendships have come and gone, illnesses have brought me to the brink of death and back to full health, medications have changed, many deaths have been mourned, careers have been thwarted and reimagined, hope has changed to despair and back to hope, often multiple times on the same day.

But I have always kept a gym membership.

When I arrived in New York City in the summer of 1980, at age twenty-two, I was more than ready to embrace my true self. After denying my sexuality all through suburban Massachusetts high school and wholesome Midwestern university, dating women and believing that there was something deeply wrong with me, I could reinvent myself in a city where I was a blank slate and virtually anonymous.

I knew that I if wanted to attract the kind of masculine jocks I lusted after during my college years, I had to become one of them. I ate a lot of tuna fish, lost twenty pounds of fat and began lifting weights at a local Jack LaLanne.

This was the perfect activity for me. I wasn't a particularly athletic kid, but I did enjoy the challenge of sports that I could practice on my own: shooting hoops in the driveway, slamming tennis balls with my racket against the garage door. I was competitive with myself, always trying to score more points, return more backhands, do more pushups than the week before. Going to a gym was something I could do on my own and at my own pace. And I could mark the progress.

Gyms in the early '80s were pretty basic, consisting mainly of free weights, Nautilus machines and treadmills. At first, I didn't know what I was doing. But I learned through observing and asking questions. I kept a notebook with me and I thrived on the challenge of increasing my levels and my weights each week.

I began to see immediate results, transforming from a slightly pudgy duckling who never put much thought into his appearance into a sleeker, more muscular swan. I became aware of my body for the first time, and I was proud of it.

To read the rest of the article go here. 

Arts and Entertainment Section

  • Skimming pebbles: Part two

    Skimming pebbles: Part two

    In part two of Dave R’s story, Andy struggles with what he’s learned and tries to balance deep dilemmas with his own reality. In the end, the choice is taken out of his hands but should he have done more? Would you have done more?
  • Season’s greetings

    Season’s greetings

    Bob Leahy and his dogs on doing what doesn’t come naturally, pet photography and Christmas spent away from home
  • Skimming pebbles: Part one

    Skimming pebbles: Part one

    Fiction from Dave R - a two-part story set in the South Seas. A man tries to escape his past by moving to what he hopes may be paradise. However, the serpent there confronts him with dilemmas he desperately hoped to avoid.

Activism Section

Current Affairs Section

Events Section

  • Living with HIV in Canada?

    Living with HIV in Canada?

    The federal funding agency PHAC wants to hear your views on how they propose distributing funds to the agencies that serve us, and how those services will be delivered
  • Honoured for their work

    Honoured for their work

    PositiveLite.com was at the 2014 Ontario AIDS Network Honour Roll Awards in Toronto last week to celebrate the induction of the four 2014 award winners.
  • Gains and…challenges

    Gains and…challenges

    COCQ-SIDA's new campaign takes on HIV stigma by matching the gains in the fight against HIV/AIDS against the challenges that remain. Ken Monteith reports.

Features and Interviews Section

Health Section

International Section

Legal Section

Lifestyle Section

Living with HIV Section

Media Section

Opinion Pieces Section

Population Specific Section

Sex and Sexuality Section

  • These are not your grandmother’s female condoms!

    These are not your grandmother’s female condoms!

    Marc-André LeBlanc recently sat down with advocate extraordinaire Jessica Terlikowski to talk about female condoms. Despite being around for 20 years, they are not well known, understood or used. But that is quickly changing,
  • The chaser’s tale – part three

    The chaser’s tale – part three

    Responding to critics, guest Joseph Sinnott answers some of the accusations levelled at bug-chasers, those people who intentionally contract HIV like himself.
  • How to have a threesome

    How to have a threesome

    Lots of couples decide to have threesomes to spice up their sex life together. It can be the beginning of a new stage in their sexual relationship or the end of the whole relationship. FS Magzine finds out how to know if three’s company or a crowd.

MarketPlace