February has really been a busy time for me in so many ways. 2013 started with so many blessings and they just keep coming. There is a smile on my face and I’m embracing the sun on my face while exploring the passion in every single possibility.

February started with a full remodel of my kitchen, bathroom and floors. I was really excited because it meant new granite countertops, new tile on my floors, new cabinets, new stove and a new toilet. To add to the excitement I was so happy to see that all the new items proudly displayed the American flag and something I don’t see very often…MADE IN AMERICA. Well that was true for everything except the new toilet supplied by the Department of Water and Power (DWP) which was made in China.

The remodel lasted for about a week. The workers moved fast, but since my place is small Dodger and I could not be in the living room area of the apartment because it was filled with everything from the kitchen, bathroom and hall closets. I couldn’t even open the blinds to the floor-to-ceiling windows because I could not reach them. Then there was the noise and dust. Dodger didn’t deal too well with that at all and I must admit that not being able to use my kitchen was a major downer. Thank God for my friends who came by to take me to dinner and helped me with food to place in the refrigerator that did not require me to cook. But in the end it was all worth it and I now have a modern kitchen and bathroom with added cabinet space.

I must say that all this is only possible because Hollywood Community Housing Corporation truly cares about their properties and wants to provide awesome apartments where their residents can feel safe and call home. Every time someone new comes by my place they are always surprised that I live in a low income building. I always hear things like “this building is beautiful” and “wow,  Kengi your apartment is great”.  I’m really blessed to live here, because no organization on Skid Row comes even close to offering the high end quality apartments, bungalows and senior living places like Hollywood Community Housing Corporation does, nor can they hold a light to the respectful services HCHC provides.

February is Black History month and this year I celebrated in grand style. I applied for media credentials to cover the Red Carpet events and premiers of the Pan African Film & Arts Festival. Three days after applying, I received an email informing me that I was “approved”.  I can’t even begin to tell you just how excited and humbled I was.

The Pan African Film & Arts Festival was established in 1992 by actress Janet DuBois (Good Times), award winning actor Danny Glover and Ayuko Babu. The festival is America’s largest and most prestigious international Black film festival. This year, the festival selected a total of 154 films, representing 34 countries -- that is, 23 documentaries, 13 short documentaries, 67 narrative features, and 51 narrative shorts covering subjects of HIV and AIDS, Blues, homosexuality, activism, love stories, family stories and the powerful FREE ANGELA & ALL POLITICAL PRISONERS documentary.

To say this event was star studded is a huge understatement. It was a virtual who’s who of entertainment, mixed with emerging talented film makers, directors, producers and actors all holding space and showcasing the incredible gifts and talents of a culture whose history is rooted in greatness.

I had the pleasure of mixing with some awesome and incredibly talented photographers and videographers, all of whom were professionals in full control of their craft and talents. I also had the misfortune of meeting some insanely arrogant, rude and selfish photographers, one of whom pushed me saying “move, I shoot for a very big agency and you need to move”.  Although this was my first time at this particular “rodeo” I was not about to let some troll with a pink lens push me and tell me to move. In the end her and her pink lens and stool stood at the end of the red carpet. It was funny how some photographers acted as if they were comparing dick sizes, but then there was those who were humble and holding their own with the so called “professionals”.

I had the chance to speak with actors like Richard Roundtree and Janet DuBois about my grandmother who cooked and catered for both of them. I had the pleasure of listening to Hollywood’s new power couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good speak about FAITH and how it is at the center of who they are and what they do. I was nnspired by Producer Reginald Hudlin’s  (Django Unchained) very candid and honest talk about Django and for sharing his thoughts, advice and encouragement so freely.

There was just so much for me to take in and celebrate, including the film about a little joint on Central Avenue in Los Angeles where everyone came to play the blues. The opportunity to meet many of the musicians my parents, aunts and uncles use to go see perform and albums they played. The chance to see a film honoring the very place I would hear them speaking about as a kid and the awesome woman who started it all. However the cream of the crop was the chance to meet the incredible, inspiring and courageous Angela Davis. Her red carpet movie premier was crazy and out of control, but a chance of a lifetime and very exciting. Having the chance to capture Angela Davis and Jada Pinkett Smith in my lens was such an honor.

So I celebrated Black History month by honoring the greatness of those who have paved the way for me to do what I do. I expanded my skills as photographer and I held my own against those who claim to be such “professionals” I met some pretty amazing photographers whom I’ve already spoken to and hung out with and have even made plans to work with.

Does anyone remember where I was when Bob first interviewed me here on PositiveLite.com? Does anyone recall my first appearance as a writer here? Does anyone recall all that I’ve been through in my life? Now look where I am.  Still standing, still smiling, still working my hardest for the greater good and still thankful for my life, my health and the truly inspiring people in my life.

LIFE is my RED CARPET and each day I must OWN IT.   

Lately I have been getting inquiries about what it's like to live in New York City. Many of my acquaintances  and friends in the arts here in Toronto are all falling in love with the idea of moving to the Big Apple. I try to tell them that New York is magical and it will definitely cast a spell on you with all of it's legends and tales of success and stardom, but all that glitters isn't gold.

I remember my first trip to New York City. It was in late September of 1990. I was there to audition for a role of a drag queen who could pass as a woman and still play a young man.

It was all so exciting. I went in to some studio to do a reading on 36th street on the West Side. There were about 20 other guys there. I had never read for anything at this point and all I had was a few polaroids of my best drag. I had no theatrical training. I was just a wet-behind-the-ears female impersonator from Tampa, Florida.

The reading went terribly. The producers liked my look but I couldn't act for shit. And I was physically too tall for the role. So, of course….I didn't get the role. This would be the beginning of many rejections in the city that never sleeps. It turns out the role was of "Dill" in The Crying Game. 

I was in town for five days. I was staying with my ex, Michael Parker Haines and his lover Steven. They took me around the city and showed me as much as they could in those days. I had never seen so many tall buildings. Back in Tampa in my art classes I would paint and draw extra buildings in the Tampa skyline to pretend we were a bigger city. I wrote slogans that boasted that I was Tampa's next rising star. I dreamed of so much more than what my hometown could offer. On this short visit, I had auditioned for a major film and even met Madonna at The Soundfactory as Junior Vasquez spun.

So, by the time it came to leave I was smitten. Bitten by the bug of all the dreams and hopes that walk the streets of that huge and frightening town. I knew that I would return one day, for it was all I had ever dreamed of and more. New York City had become a part of my being. Tampa would not contain me any longer. I was made for subways and all night delis. 

It took me a couple of years to get back there. Circumstances would change my ability to work as a DJ in Tampa since I had spun at all of the venues that would have me. So, in 1992 I took a brave step and bought a round trip ticket to LaGuardia. I called up another ex named Michael who lived with his then girlfriend The Electrifying Grace. He gave me permission to stay with them, but had not talked it over with Grace at all. I had only spoken to her on the phone a few times. It was by her generous nature that she allowed me to come stay. By the time I arrived, she had put Michael out and I had come to stay with a complete stranger.

 This is my New York Drag Mother, "The Electrifying Grace". My drag name is homage to her. 

I figured that I would come up to look around for work for a couple of weeks and then take whatever I could get when I got back to Tampa. After all, my whole life was back there. I had an apartment I shared with my adopted brother, Anthony Evans and my lover Michael Gagne. I never believed that I would actually find work in such a huge city. I figured I would be rejected and laughed at as some country bumpkin from the south. 

But the old saying "It's all in who you know" is actually true. Grace was one of the hostesses at Sally's which was mentioned in the documentary Paris Is Burning that I had just watched about six months before arriving. Grace had told the manager, Jimmy Peanuts that I was a DJ. I arrived in the evening on Wednesday, April 29th. On the next day I had my first interview and audition for a job in New York City.

I walked into Sally's around 2 PM in the afternoon to meet with Mr. Peanuts. He looked and sounded like Max from the 80's TV show, "Hart to Hart". He sat at an empty booth with a huge plate of spaghetti and a telephone. I introduced myself and quickly made my way over to the DJ equipment to start to impress him with my skills on the tables. I had brought with me about 20 records. I did my best mixes and tricks in my set. Jimmy seemed unimpressed. In fact, he was on the phone most of the time while I played. Afterwards he invited me to sit down at the table with him.

"So, tell me kid….do you know how to read?" he asked.

"You mean like…" and I began to snap my fingers in a "Z' formation as Blaine and Anton did on"In Living Color".

"No, no, no…not dat faggot shit! I mean as in - see spot run." Jimmy explained.

"Yeah, of course" I said a little confused.

"You're hired." Jimmy said as he continued eating. So, on Friday May 1st I started my new job.

Grace later explained to that evening that apparently Sally's had two DJ's, but neither of them could read. So, they had to pay someone else to sit with them to tell them what to play when the drag shows were on. Meaning that I got my first job in the Big Apple not because of my skills, but because I actually knew how to read. They could care less about what I played. And as they say….the rest was history. My life in the city had just begun. I was never returning to Tampa as a resident. I was extremely lucky. I had landed in the middle of the cast of Paris Is Burning and my education of life in the big city had begun.

"The Illusions" (Harmonica Sunbeam, Tyra Colbaire, myself and Sybil Barrington-the original group). Photo by Panja Jergens taken during rush hour in the middle of Times Square in 1994. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpWc6QLRwQ

I would later form a drag troupe called The Illusions that would be the next generation of"The Pearl Box Revue" at The Cotton Club. I would appear on daytime talk shows like "The Richard Bey Show", "The Maury Povich Show" and "The Ricki Lake Show". I would eventually get roles in movies like Too Wong Foo…Thanks For Everything, Party Girl and Jane Doe. By the end of the 90's I would get my first shot at performing at Wigstock with the fabulous Lady Bunny. And eventually I would sign my first record deal with Progressive High Records to release my first single "Why Are You Gaggin'?" which I would be later screwed for by them selling my track overseas. And the beginning of my 12-year run as the resident Sunday night DJ at Escuelita began when Harmonica Sunbeam asked me to be a part of her team for the longest running T-Dance in New York City.

Of course I missed out on a lot of parts, but I kept at it and had an amazing time learning how the entertainment business is run. The highlights almost overshadow all the days I had only tuna sandwiches for dinner after paying my rent and bills. No one knew all the hard days when work was scarce and I was barely getting by. It wasn't glamorous. It was the real New York.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYRepLl6n9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf0OsmHJoSg

But then I got to thinking about some of the smaller projects that I was a part of. I used to live in the East Village. I entered the Priscilla Queen of The Desert lip sync contest  at HMV on 86th and Lexington. I won and shared the title with a queen named "Chicklet". Little did I know that meeting would turn into a great friendship and a track into some underground films by a brilliant filmmaker called John Jabalaba. Even though the big movie projects helped me get my Screen Actors Guild card, the two films that I did with John were so much fun.

Crowned the winner of HMV's "Priscilla Queen of The Desert" along with Chicklet. If you look closely Robin Byrd was the MC and Michael Musto, Alicia Bridges, Paul Alexander and Girlina were the judges. 

The first one I did was a short film called Lilly White. Chicklet was the star and the cast consisted of some of New York's legendary drag performers like Hedda Lettuce and Miss Understood. I played a drunk woman who answers her apartment door to find a nun collecting funds for a church. Chicklet's character awakes to find her memory is gone along with her identity.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e26kI9eqns&feature=gv 

My second role was that of "The Kept Girl" in another short called Dogs. In this one I was trying my hardest to give my best Marilyn Monroe / Ginger from Gilligan's Island. It's hard to say who was the star of this one. It definitely wasn't me. But the kidnapping of Pepe is a hilarious look at the blurred lines between the drag world and insanity. 

http://www.spike.com/video-clips/z4a8n5/dogs

I think the thing that I enjoyed the most was the work for the art that we were creating. No pay, but it was great to be a part of something that will never happen again. Jabalaba was our Andy Warhol meets John Waters and Chicklet was his Candy Darling meets Divine. I am still friends with both of them till this day. I highly recommend you look this extraordinary visionary up.

http://jabalaba.blogspot.ca/

It also got me thinking about all the gay films (short and long) that are being lost in this age of the internet. Somethings are available on YouTube, but there is nothing like watching a movie in a theatre atmosphere. So, I recently started a gay movie night called "PINK CINEMA @ SLOUCH MEDIA". Our first selection was "PARIS IS BURNING" for Black History Month. The next feature will be on March 7th. Check out the our facebook page and vote on what our next movie will be. There are five choices on the home page. So, go vote! 

In the course of a few short months, Lee Thompson (“Uncle Poodle” to reality TV watchers) has managed to personify a variety of hot button issues among gay men today. He has come out as gay and HIV-positive. He has sent an ex-lover to jail and sent nude pictures via Grindr. 

Or not. Depending on whom you believe. Let’s break down the strange case of Uncle Poodle.

In what we can all agree was a positive development, Thompson publicly came out as gay last year and evidently has the love and support of much of his family, the colorful clan of the TLC reality show “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” He instantly became an ally and friend of gays everywhere. So far, so good.

Then, in a recent interview with the Atlanta gay magazine Fenuxe, Thompson made the announcement that he tested HIV-positive in May of 2012. What was startling, though, was his explanation of his infection. Thompson claimed that not only had an ex-lover knowingly infected him, but that the man is currently serving a five-year sentence for non-disclosure of his HIV status (an example of what is known as HIV Criminalization).

Almost immediately the details of the story were questioned (by everyone except Fenuxe magazine, which did not delve into the prosecution in their piece; the writer simply “applauded” Thompson’s bravery). Journalist Todd Heywood posed serious questions about the case, including the timeline between Thompson’s infection and the reported prosecution, which would have happened in mere months. Heywood also scoured court records from Georgia to Alabama and could find no evidence of any such case. Requests for more information from Thompson’s people have garnered no response. The defendant has never been identified.

Did Uncle Poodle lie about sending the ex-lover to jail? And why the hell would he do that?

It is my opinion that Thompson made up the prosecution story. And in doing so, he behaved in much the same way that most everyone does who tests HIV positive these days. He looked for someone else to blame. He played the innocent victim. He released himself from personal responsibility.

Because everybody knows that when you test HIV-positive, you don’t call your doctor to start treatment. You call the police to press charges.

Stigma is driving these actions, of course. People who become positive today are judged for being “bad,” for not following the rules, for failing the community and becoming one of the great unwashed. It makes no difference that they were simply caught being human, that they let down their guard for a moment or got drunk or didn’t care or stupidly fell in love. Their friends will furrow their brows. Their dating life will wither.

And so, someone must pay for these indignities. That is one reason HIV criminalization laws have prospered – they appeal to our sense of vengeance. They are also vessels of homophobia, sexism and racism, considering how badly the laws are applied and how often prosecutions run counter to public health or even common sense (some convictions have imposed jail time for decades even when condoms were used and no one was infected, and advocates believe people forgo HIV testing in fear of being prosecuted). Conservative lawmakers and prosecutors — who don’t believe people with HIV should be having sex at all — are more than willing to exploit our feelings of revenge when testing positive so they can lock up some diseased fags.

I empathize with those who test positive today. They suddenly find themselves on my side of the viral divide, and for some, their hearts and minds may not have made the crossing yet. Perhaps they have unresolved issues about becoming infected. Whatever their circumstances, testing positive is a major life event and I can understand if some have an impulse to lash out.

And I believe that Lee Thompson did exactly that when he reported sending the man who infected him to jail. The man who no one can identify. The case that no one can locate.

Things have just gotten a little more complicated for our Uncle Poodle. Now, someone who claims to have communicated with Thompson on Grindr is trying to sell naked photos that Thompson supposedly sent him (isn’t humanity grand?). Thompson being linked to Grindr — the app about which controversy recently arose when a survey indicated half of its users were engaging in bareback sex — presents a delicate situation indeed.

People living with HIV have every right to “full and satisfying sexual and emotional lives,” as the Denver Principles stated thirty years ago. There is no evidence or details about Thompson’s sexual life or choices, so let’s simply hope he is conducting himself as someone with intimate knowledge of HIV non-disclosure laws, considering his contention that he sent someone to jail for withholding their status. The sword cuts both ways, and I worry for him.

Lee Thompson certainly has faced his share of scrutiny, living as an HIV-positive gay man in the rural South, much less someone connected to a wildly popular reality series. But he should consider his moves, both public and private, very, very carefully. Because we don’t simply like to tear down celebrities, or save our judgment and revenge for those with the thickest skin.

As we prove time and again, we can do it to the very best of friends.

Mark

PLUS…

Thank you for your stunning readership in recent weeks, my friends. In particular, the recent post “Your Mother Liked It Bareback” broke all traffic records on my site. I will admit to being precociously provocative with that one, and especially appreciate the comments you left, which proved far more interesting than the post itself. I do believe, as Gus Cairns remarked, that much of this passionate debate is driven by the pure grief so many of us experienced — and that is nothing to be taken lightly. My point remains that our emotions have little to no effect on the fact that nearly half of gay men don’t use condoms at least some of the time; validating other prevention tools isn’t a threat to condom use; and finally, what are we doing for the 50% of gay men not using condoms — or are they expendable?

This article first appeared on Mark’s own site, My Fabulous Disease, here.

Warning- this post talks about vaginas and pornography and contains some slightly explicit language. Gasp! Anyone who is squeamish, uptight, or related to me can just stop reading right now. Consider yourselves warned.

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of conversations about sex, or should I say a lot more than usual.

Actually, a large portion of these said conversations have been about pornography. I’m not sure how the conversation always seems to go there. Perhaps it is because I’ve been thinking about it a lot more since I took a pornography course during my Masters (expect to see future posts about this). I don’t know, maybe everyone is just dying to talk about porn. I like to think it’s just because I’m relatively open and people feel comfortable talking to me, but I doubt it. More likely it has to do with alcohol. Regardless, somehow the conversation ends up on pornography. Unfortunately, they’re not usually exciting conversations about what we’re into or what kind of porn we prefer.

Lately, the conversation has ended up about pornography as sex ed. Can and should it be used as an educational tool? What effect does watching porn have on one’s sexual development, and of course, is pornography beneficial to women?

Let me back this up to another conversation I have been having most of my adult life, but especially a lot more lately: vagina confidence. Recently a girlfriend and I were talking about how difficult it is for many women to love their vaginas; as well we were discussing the increasingly popular phenomenon of labiaplasty and vaginal rejuvenation.

While vaginal rejuvenation may sound like a relaxing treatment at some kind of vagina spa, it actually refers to the surgical tightening of the vagina. Labiaplasty, sometimes known as labia reduction, is plastic surgery of the labia (minora or majora), for aesthetic (although sometimes health) reasons and is a growing business these days. One source purports that in the US, this industry is worth $6.8m and that in 2008 in the UK, operations were up 70% compared to the previous year. Vagina modification is a booming business; extremely lucrative for the surgeons, potentially damaging for the recipients. Read any forum and you will find just as many women who are unhappy with the surgery than who are pleased. Besides being super expensive ($2,000+), vaginal cosmetic surgeries can result in infection, loss of sensation, lengthy and painful recovery time, deformities, and permanent scarring, among other “side effects”.

So why, you ask, are so many women willing, even begging, to have this surgery in order to achieve a “designer vagina”?

Many people, including myself, blame pornography and the increasing social acceptance of and access to pornography (although not exclusively). It pains me greatly to say this because I have, for a large portion of my adult life, been an advocate for pornography as positive for women. I do think that porn can be really beneficial for women. Hear me out. Granted, there are tones of different types of pornography, much of which is extremely violent or degrading toward women, which obviously can have the opposite effect. For purposes of this blog, I’m referring mostly about “mainstream” pornography- which generally means predominately Caucasian, largely heterosexual porn (including most “girl-on-girl” as well) all of which of course can still be violent and/or degrading. There are whole other blogs needed to discuss these other categories, as well as the effects “mainstream” pornography can have on people who do not necessarily fit these categories.

Generally speaking, in a society that teaches women to be sexually passive, I think it is good for women to see other women actively enjoying sex, even demanding what they want/like. Porn is a great medium to allow this and to teach women that it is perfectly okay to enjoy sex. Too bad these women are still viewed as social deviants (aka sluts). Unfortunately, because so much of porn is catered to men’s fantasies, it can often really lack in this element of (genuine) female enjoyment (note the absence of the female orgasm in much porn, particularly from cunnilingus).

Sometimes porn can even function in the opposite manner, as will be discussed, teaching women that they should like things that many women don’t, such as cum on the face. Sure, there may be a time and a place, but may I just say - the money shot on the face is not a given and should not be happening unless you ask for it! (also suggesting a need for examples of healthy open communication in porn as well). But I digress.

This is the problem with porn. It has such potential to be educational and positive, but also so much potential to be very damaging. Back to this discussion of “vagina confidence”, I used to think that porn was a great medium for women to see other women’s vaginas and realize that everyone’s is different. Unless you fool around with women, or are super close with your female friends, chances are you haven’t seen many vaginas in real life, given the way our anatomy works. Watching porn could really help women who may be insecure to realize that their vagina is perfectly normal and that there is no “perfect” vagina. However, porn is screwing that up too. With the increases in labiaplasty among porn stars and Playboy’s persistent airbrushing of labia (I read they had a policy against showing labia), we are moving closer and closer to the “designer vagina”; the one-size-fits-all, “flawless”, completely unrealistic vagina. Similarly to how we have an ideal image of the female body, which is completely unobtainable for most women, we now have one of the ideal vagina too. Even one of our largest sources of pleasure is under public scrutiny and judgment. Is nothing sacred anymore? Not even our vaginas?

I recently read a study that surveyed over 400 students in England, aged 14 to 17, about pornography. Apparently, according to this survey, the average teenager claims to watch up to 90 minutes of porn a week. When shown photographs of 10 pairs of breasts, both boys and girls tended to prefer images of surgically enhanced breasts to “normal” breasts. Similarly, they were largely disgusted or shocked by hair between women’s legs. Many girls admitted to having started shaving their genitals because they believed boys expected them to.

Not surprisingly boys also revealed insecurities about the size and shape of their penises, as well as anxiety around performance.

I find this disturbing. What is going to become of a generation of boys and girls raised on porn? While I don’t think this is so much a new phenomenon for boys, I’m guessing that porn as first sex education for girls is increasing. Does this mean girls will grow up thinking shaved vaginas, bleached assholes, augmented breasts, anal, and cum on the face are all a standard, preferred part of sex? How about the fact that virtually no one in porn uses condoms? What chance do our messages of safer sex that my colleagues and I work so hard to promote stand against pornography’s blaring message- unprotected sex is better (and normal)?

And now when girls turn to porn, possibly hoping they will see something that resembles their own, they will find “artificial” vaginas as well. Why wouldn’t they surgically change theirs? Combine that with the countless advertisements that scream at young girls that they are not pretty enough, sexy enough, skinny enough, big breasted enough, tanned enough, etc. and we wonder why so many girls have self-confidence issues.

We are making it practically impossible for women to truly enjoy sex. How are women supposed to “get into it” when not only are we taught that good girls don’t like sex (or shouldn’t admit to it), but we are also too preoccupied with what our ass, hips, breasts, thighs, and now vaginas look like? Perhaps that is the point?

Despite all this, I really do believe that porn can be positive, for the aforementioned reasons. Maybe there just needs to be more amateur porn; real people with real bodies having real sex. Maybe we need to be more open about our sexuality as a society; show more pictures of vaginas. Maybe as women we need talk more openly about vaginas.

We certainly need to nurture confidence among our girls. Perhaps sex ed in school should include various images of various bodies, including genitals. Maybe not being so uptight about even using the word “vagina” would be a start. I’m not entirely sure, but I, for one, am disgusted that girls have yet another insecurity to add to the list. So please, for heaven’s sake, unless you are getting us off- keep your mitts off our muffs. 

This article first appeared in The Positive Side, a publication of CATIE.

Une version française est disponible ici.  

“If you know your history, then you would know where you coming from.”

 —Bob Marley, Buffalo Soldier

Though we come from diverse backgrounds and life experiences, people living with HIV all share a common history: the history of the AIDS epidemic. But some 30 years into this epidemic, many of us scarcely know the stories that serve to bind us together as a community. Like the stories of most stigmatized identities, our shared history is difficult, painful and challenging, but it also speaks to the strength and resilience of people with HIV.

Movies offer us one way to connect to those stories and a window into the historical trajectory of AIDS. So, as the weather grows colder, why not gather together your friends with HIV and the people who love and support you around the modern campfire—the TV screen? Grab a warm blanket and a big bowl of popcorn and spend an evening learning the stories that unify us and make us proud to be who we are. A monthly movie night exploring the history of HIV could make for a cozy, inspiring, even therapeutic way to while away the cold winter.

THE BEGINNING IS AS GOOD a place as any to start your viewing. Two entertaining and informative films that deal with the origins and early history of AIDS are the docudrama And the Band Played On, based on the 1987 bestselling book of the same name, by American journalist Randy Shilts, and Zero Patience, an AIDS musical by maverick Canadian filmmaker John Greyson. And the Band Played On presents a scathing critique of government and medical responses to the emergence of AIDS. It sets out the facts, while Zero Patience assumes that you know these facts and weaves a campy Canuck yarn that turns these “facts” on their head.

And the Band Played On

And the Band Played On was first shown at the Montreal World Film Festival in 1993, then broadcast on HBO and later released in movie theatres. It takes us back to the early 1980s, as gay men in major American cities are beginning to die of an unknown illness. Doctors, politicians and gay leaders grapple, with varying degrees of competence, with the disease that would eventually become known as AIDS. Of particular interest is the film’s account of the ugly competition between French and American research labs to claim the dubious distinction of discovering the virus that causes AIDS—a competition that unfolds as the death toll mounts. The film also documents the attempts by public health officials to close gay bathhouses in San Francisco, in order to contain the spread of HIV, and the subsequent resistance from gay community leaders who see this as an attempt to control their lives. And the Band Played On introduces us to French Canadian flight attendant Gaetan Dugas, whose sexual exploits became a sort of gay urban legend in the late 1980s. As a result of Shilts’ investigative journalism into the origins of AIDS, Dugas became known as “Patient Zero,” the man who allegedly introduced AIDS to North America. (It is now known that this wasn’t the case.)

In addition to its sharp rebuke of politicians and AIDS researchers, this early Emmy Award–winning film brought Hollywood star power (including Matthew Modine, Lily Tomlin, Alan Alda and Richard Gere) to bear on what was still a relatively taboo subject. Recall that then-U.S. President Ronald Reagan did not publicly say the word AIDS until 1987, the year Shilts’ book was published—a full six years after people first became aware of the disease in the U.S. and after 21,000 Americans had already died of AIDS.

Zero Patience

CANADIAN FILMMAKER JOHN GREYSON’s surreal musical Zero Patience premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 1993—the same year that And the Band Played On premiered in Montreal—and went on to receive much recognition in Canadian cinema and queer theory circles. Its plot is delightfully convoluted, involving time travel, a buoyant soundtrack by Glenn Schellenberg and a cameo role as Miss HIV for Michael Callen, an early American AIDS activist who championed the rights of people with HIV. The film’s title alludes to “Patient Zero” Gaetan Dugas, whose reputation, tarnished in And the Band Played On, is rehabilitated by Greyson, who portrays his engagement in early AIDS research as helping to establish AIDS as a sexually transmitted disease preventable through safer sex. The title also alludes to the urgency of AIDS activism. When Zero Patience came out, Greyson and others involved in the film said: “We wanted to explode the opportunistic myth of Patient Zero…[and] celebrate the courage and sass of an international AIDS activist movement that has tirelessly fought for the rights of people living with AIDS.”

Philadelphia

JONATHAN DEMME’S Philadelphia is a must-see film: It was the first mainstream Hollywood movie about AIDS to reach a broad audience. Philadelphia chronicles the final days of gay lawyer Andrew Beckett (played by Tom Hanks, who won an Academy Award for his performance), who is unjustly fired from his law firm when his health begins to fail as a result of AIDS, and the dawning sympathy and politicization of his attorney Joe Miller (played by Denzel Washington), whom he hires to defend him against this unlawful dismissal. Though Beckett wins his case and receives loving support from his partner, family and friends, there is no happy ending to Philadelphia, conceived of and brought to the screen in the early 1990s, when AIDS still conveyed a death sentence. Attending this film when it was first released, I recall that sobs could be heard throughout the darkened theatre as this film drew to a close—I was certainly trying hard to compose myself as the lights went up.

Three Needles

IN ADDITION TO ITS NORTH AMERICAN PREMIERE at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2005, Nova Scotia resident Thom Fitzgerald’s film Three Needles was shown at the 2006 International AIDS Society Conference in Toronto. Starring Stockard Channing, Olympia Dukakis, Sandra Oh, Lucy Liu and Chloë Sevigny, this ambitious film tells three stories of HIV transmission worldwide. In rural China, the black-market trade in blood results in the spread of HIV throughout a small village. In South Africa, the myth that sex with a virgin can cure AIDS has dire consequences in an orphanage. And in Montreal, a second-rate porn star searches for a way to pass his mandatory HIV test despite the fact that he is HIV positive. Though this film sometimes sacrifices the facts about HIV for the sake of a more coherent plot, it is important in its efforts to engage with HIV issues beyond North America.

Viewing these four films—available at your local video store or on Netflix or Amazon—may inspire you to check out other movies about HIV. Last year, two major movies about AIDS, United in Anger, a history of the AIDS activist group ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power), and Vito, about activist/writer Vito Russo, screened in theatres. And in Montreal, there’s the HIV/AIDS film festival VIHsion. Online you can check out some of the more than 100 fascinating interviews with members of ACT UP New York that make up the ACT UP Oral History Project.

Know your history: It will make you proud.

Darien Taylor is CATIE’s former Director of Program Delivery. She co-founded Voices of Positive Women and is the recipient of a Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal, awarded to Canadians who have demonstrated an exceptional commitment to HIV/AIDS work. Darien has been living with HIV for over 20 years.

The sister article “Le sida dans le cinéma” in Vision Positive explores HIV in French cinema. 

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AIDS Goes to the Movies

Here is a short list of the features and documentaries made in North America since the start of the epidemic: 

AIDS: No Sad Songs (1985) – First major Canadian doc made about what was at the time a taboo topic. Explores the social and emotional effects of AIDS on people living with HIV and their loved ones.

Parting Glances (1986) – Indie film about a gay couple in New York City. One of the first American feature films to portray AIDS.

Doctors, Liars, and Women: AIDS Activists Say No to Cosmo (1988) – Award-winning short that documents AIDS activists taking over the editorial offices of Cosmopolitan magazine after it ran an article claiming that a straight woman could safely have unprotected sex with an HIV-positive man.

The Ryan White Story (1989) – Made-for-TV movie based on the true story of Indiana teenager Ryan White. In 1984, White became infected with HIV from contaminated blood treatment for his hemophilia and fought for his right to attend school after being expelled because of his infection.

Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt (1989) – Academy Award–winning doc about the lives and deaths of people commemorated in the AIDS Memorial Quilt.

And the Band Played On (1993) – Docudrama on the early history of AIDS, based on the bestselling book by Randy Shilts.

Zero Patience (1993) – John Greyson’s AIDS musical about how the media, government and scientists responded to AIDS in the ’80s.

Philadelphia (1993) – First mainstream Hollywood movie about AIDS. A successful young gay lawyer living with HIV takes his employer to court for wrongful dismissal.

Angels in America (2003) – A six-hour HBO miniseries adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize–winning play about the intertwined lives of people affected by the growing AIDS epidemic. Set in New York City during the Reagan administration.

Three Needles (2005) – Three stories about the AIDS epidemics in South Africa, China and Canada, from Halifax-based writer and director Thom Fitzgerald.

We Were Here (2011) – Doc in which four gay men and one straight female nurse share stories about how they were impacted by the epidemic in San Francisco.

Positive Women: Exposing Injustice (2012) – Four HIV-positive women (including Claudia Medina profiled here) talk about the impact of Canadian laws that criminalize HIV non-disclosure.

United in Anger: A History of ACT UP (2012) – Doc about the direct actions of ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) to combat corporate greed, social indifference and government neglect.

How to Survive a Plague (2012) – Oscar-nominated doc about the activism of ACT UP (the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) and TAG (the Treatment Action Group) in the U.S. during the late ‘80s and early ‘90s.

The Normal Heart (pre-production) – The book and play written by activist Larry Kramer about his efforts to raise awareness about AIDS in the ’80s, to be turned into a feature film.