Inside tbe world of drag

Most of you know me as DJ Relentless, but I am also known as Jade Elektra and I just spent Easter Weekend in Chicago competing in The Miss Continental Elite Pageant. As an out HIV-positive person, it was really a great weekend for me to represent Canada in my first national pageant.

Ever since I came out on the gay scene back in Tampa in the mid 80's, the drag world has always been a major fascination for me. I remember going to The El Goya and seeing my first drag show that featured Joey Brooks, Stephanie Shippae, Bobbie Lake and Gilda Golden. These were the performers who would mold my view of what it meant to be a female impersonator. Glamorous and larger than life. I knew after that show I wanted to be an entertainer.

Back then, there was a talent show on Mondays at a place called René's. This bar was known for producing some of the top title holders. Tiffani Middlesexx, Tiffany Arieagus, Mahogany, Chena Kelly, Lakeisha Lucky, Esme Russell, Dana Douglas, Dana Manchester, Patti Cakes and countless others were headliners there. They had the best talent show in town. Queens would come from Miami and Orlando to make an impression and win $100. Many of today's top legends got their start in that talent show. René's could make or break you. 

First Steps

A wonderful hostess named Tony Rose watched my first attempt at getting attention with a concept number of Stephanie Mills' cover of "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore". I am very glad that no photos have surfaced. I had no idea how to do make up or that I really needed a wig to cover up my jheri-curled hair (remember it was the 80's). But I guess Tony saw some potential in me and pulled me aside after one of the most humiliating nights of my life. She told me that I should show up early the next week and she would help me with my make up. She gave me my first Millie Jackson record, "Live & Uncensored" and told me to learn something off this. She surprised me the next week with not only doing my make up, but also donating my first drag outfit, a simple white Dynasty dress (at least that's what I called it) and a wig. She was my very first drag mother. They don't make 'em like that anymore. This was back when the older queens would teach the younger gyrls the way. God, I miss those days. 

I came up with some of the new crop of gyrls back in those days. Simplicity Hart, Tomeka Love, Donna White, Regina Rheal, Natasha Richards, Tiffany McCray, Syreeta Montiel, Crystal Clear, LaTonya Rogers, Monique LaBelle  and Ebony (my first drag name before becoming Jade Elektra in 1992) were names that dominated that Monday night talent contest. 

With all the tutorials on YouTube and shows like Drag Race, the young gyrls today think they don't need a guiding hand. And all the bad habits and horrible attitudes that RuPaul's little creation has spawned has straight audiences and younger gays believing that this is the future for drag, that your fifteen minutes are your ticket to stardom. But like Madonna said in her interview on Anderson when asked about reality TV celebrities "It may get you in the door, it doesn't guarantee you will stay at the party". And no truer words were ever spoken.  

The Pageant

So, being a contestant in The Continental Elite Pageant was an honour. When I walked into registration at the Park West Theatre and saw Dana Douglas I became a little drag kid again. I remember when she won Miss Continental in 1987. I remember her performance of "Black Velvet" at The Miss Florida pageant that year with this amazing long train to her dress. I began talking with her, thinking she must be a judge, or there to help organize the pageant. But when Jim Flint and Ginger Grant called everyone over to sign up she came over as well. I knew right then that I was looking at this year's winner. This was drag royalty. It would not matter if I had jumped through hoops of fire or what any of the other gyrls were doing - this was the winner for 2012.

After watching and listening closely to the whispered conversations, I learned that some of these gyrls had been in this pageant system for years. Unfortunately I believe they are stuck in it.

Now...anyone who knows me knows that I don't mince words. So, if you are easily offended or you can only see your point of view, I suggest you stop reading right now. Because I am about to tell you what I really think about the Continental pageant system along with most pageants. This is no different than the ballroom scene. These people spend thousands and thousands of dollars to enter these competitions and for what? At the end of the day what does it all mean? Absolutely nothing outside of that circle. They lure you in with the glamour and glitz of what you see on stage, but all the stuff that goes on in the background would probably make a sane person say I will have nothing to do with this.

I also think of the pageant system as a pyramid scheme. Someone on the top of the pyramid is making money off all the people who are involved. Kind of like how RuPaul is making all the money from Drag Race and the contestants are left fighting to be on that show to get a chance to be in the spotlight. And just like the mafia, they take care of their own. Once you are in the family, you are always in the family. But if you don't get accepted into the family, you are encouraged to come back and try again. They might dangle a small prize to keep you interested, but make no mistake....they want your time and money.

Augmentation

Back when I was coming up on the scene, bar owners and promoters would help the gyrls get their breasts done and any reconstructive surgery you would need to be the next beauty. For a while there were a few who wanted to make me into the next Stephanie Shippae. They would have paid for everything if I gave them my youth and innocence. But the one thing I always enjoyed at the end of the show was taking all that stuff off and being Alphonso King Jr. My motto was and still is "If I can't take it off at the end of night, then I don't need it."

I remember my first year in New York City I met a queen named Consuela. She was taller than me (I'm 6' 4") and had these insanely huge implants. At that time I was a DJ at a tranny hooker bar called Sally's on 43rd Street. Consuela got really drunk one night and came over and talked to me as I was packing up for the evening and what she said has always stayed in my head. "If I knew what I know now, I would have never done any of this to myself. You are so lucky. Stay just the way you are. It's not cute waking up at 40 to find that not even 7-11 will hire you."

So, what do you do when you have altered yourself so much that you are unrecognizable and you have implants and facial hair? You are stuck in that life for the rest of your life. Unless you have had some of the best doctors over the years (which most of these gyrls have not) you are probably not healthy from the silicone injected into your body. And the one thing that was really clear is that the Continental System is for transsexuals. Boys who do drag are cute, but they are looking for all the augmentation. Outside of my friend, Scott Cooper, who is still a boy and has not had any work done, I believe that only transsexuals have been winners of Miss Continental. But where is the line between female impersonation and transsexualism? 

Now, don't get me wrong....I love these drag conventions. You get to see all the people you haven't seen in years. And the energy is great. Of course a few folks were trying to get me to join the other pyramid scheme, Miss Gay USA (which I'm told is strictly for female impersonators). And although I have been around these queens for years and around the pageant scene in the background as the DJ who mixed their talents or did the voice-overs for them, I have never really lusted after these titles. I have a few titles and a few crowns from randomly entering a pageant here and there, but I have never felt that these titles have defined me as Jade Elektra. In fact, the highlight of this past weekend in Chicago was getting to perform as Billie Holiday on the Park West Theatre stage. That was absolutely wonderful. I felt completely at home on that stage. And it confirms that I am heading in the right direction with my career as a recording artist and vocalist. Hopefully one day someone will come across the DVD of that performance and say "Wow...where is that queen now? That was a talent!" Because let's face it.....someone doing a live vocal performance in character is not in the same category as a glamazon standing there lip-syncing with back up dancers. Apples and Oranges. I knew that going in, but I wanted to let people know that I was there. And no disrespect to any of the gyrls, but my vision for myself is a lot bigger than this circle. 

To have people come up to me after my talent and ask me if I was really singing or where did that voice come from was my crown and title. No one had ever done a Billie Holiday impersonation at Continental. It was an real honour to have a former Mr. Continental, Antonio Edwards whom I have known for years, come up to me and say"I knew you could sing, but I never knew you could sing like that".  It really made my evening. And hopefully I have opened the door for future impersonators to take a chance on live talents.

I would like to see more classic drag come back. There's only so many music videos that can be recreated on the drag stage. There's so much more out there than the Top 40 that is being rammed down our throats. I sit back and watch all these young ones killing themselves to be exactly like the gyrl sitting next to them in the dressing room. They want to out-do the next one. Well, you can't do that by doing the same numbers you saw on YouTube over and over. You have to be creative and strive for something different. And stop dumbing down the performances. You are in a unique position to educate your audience as well as entertain.

You've got to listen to the ones who were here before you. Their wisdom is very valuable. I try to tell the gyrls I work with simple things that would help them on stage and in life, but most are not listening. I just hope that they don't fall into the trap and lose themselves in this world of drag. If you meet an older queen, sit and talk with her instead of dismissing her.

But back to story of The Baton...

The finals . . 

So, it is the night of the finals at The Baton. There are twelve contestants and we come out in orange presentation. It all seemed surreal to be standing on the most famous drag stage in America. In my heart of hearts, I was hoping that my talent had gotten me into the Top 8 at least. They start giving out awards for best interview, best swimwear, best evening gown and best talent. My name is not called for any of those. They start calling the Top 8 and as they skip over me an epiphany comes to me. "Thank God I am not in this". If I had won any of those things I would be obligated to come back again. But you have to pay your dues with this pageant system, to build your brand with Mr. Flint before you get his seal of approval. And at registration he gave a speech about he might end the Elite pageant if there are not 20 or more contestants next year. Of course Dana Douglas is the perfect candidate to go out and sell the Miss Continental Elite pageant to promoters and bars across the country. This is how the business works.

So, I was very grateful that I did not place and did not make the Top 8. I am free! All I have to do is step down as Miss Toronto Continental Elite in November and I am done.

The drag world still fascinates me. What motivates a man to put on a dress and act like a woman? There are a million stories and reasons why, but for me it is an extension of who I am as a man who has embraced his feminine side and still treasures his masculine side.

Where do we go from here? 

Wow…life!  How wonderful.  I feel this way sometimes, but I keep trying to move onward with dignity, why?  I feel a connection to life, a purpose you might say…to prove to myself and others that it is beautiful. Music, arts, relationships…the list goes on and on and on. I do manage to still love life…through the pain, sorrow, losses, ignorance, devastation..the list goes on and on and on

A couple of other quotes from Dennis Shepard - “to show mercy to someone who refused to show any mercy….”you robbed me of something very precious and I will never forgive you for that.”

I felt robbed the day I found out I was HIV+.  I was extremely scared that I would be dead within a year.  This news was delivered to me when I had to go alone for my appointment as my partner at the time was driving in the US on his job, and I broke the news that night over the phone.  My partner was the one who suggested I get tested, as I was constantly battling chronic fatigue.  Of course I figured it was due to having just recently retired from my career. I travelled extensively across Canada when I began performing professionally.  When becoming partners we both had so many challenges facing us.’Where do we go from here?"

First off, I was told by my family physician that he would no longer be able to treat me as his patient.  I have no knowledge of HIV, he states so he puts us in touch with the London health sciences centre, where we both had to receive counseling.  Considering how many years HIV/AIDS had already been around, there were still very few places you could turn to. 

A couple of years went by and we decided to move to Kitchener, where we both took on volunteering heavily with a local AIDS organization.  My HIV doctor, Dr. Janet Gilmour at London health sciences centre, referred me to Dr. Gary Gibson in Cambridge.  His HIV expertise eventually took him to British Columbia where he unfortunately passed away.  Dr Gibson was not only my physician, but he and his partner became extremely close friends of ours.

I eventually began seeing another doctor briefly in Toronto, and then began receiving care in London again with Dr. Ralph.  I decided to end my relationship with my partner 10 years later; however, we’re still roommates to this day.  The HIV world was getting to me I guess, always being reminded daily by having to take medications, even my volunteer work suffered for awhile.

Over the next few years I began volunteering again, and got myself involved with the Ontario AIDS Network in Toronto, representing southwestern Ontario with respect to becoming a member of the PHA caucus.  I eventually met a gentleman through this organization and we became partners.  He was a wonderful person, who represented the eastern provinces of Ontario, and very committed to the AIDS movement in general.  Our relationship eventually became one of long distance phone calls every night.  My own health was deteriorating and when he eventually lost his battle and passed on, I was not able to attend his funeral.  My former partner became very close friends with him and did however attend his funeral.

I eventually lost so much weight; I began collapsing, weighing only 90 lbs.  I was transported to intensive care at university hospital in London, where I spent 2 weeks, having been diagnosed with a parasite.  Of course I was constantly quarantined; however, family and friends still were able to visit.  Upon first waking up, I believe my niece and her 2 children were there with several others.  My great-niece was wearing these incredibly geeky glasses that made me laugh within.  I was not able to even talk at this stage.  Wow, am I ever glad they did not have to transport me to Thunder Bay; I’d probably not be here today to share my story.  Those were my two choices ..hello?  My potassium had dropped to severe levels, that I was informed my heart could stop by increasing my levels and did I want them to use the paddles if necessary. 

Prior to and during the few months that I was continually losing weight, I had chosen to take a drug holiday, figuring it may be the medications I was becoming resistant to.  I eventually was referred to Dr. Steingart in Waterloo as my health would not allow me to travel long distances.  I had, however, just begun seeing Dr. Steingart when I had been admitted to the hospital.  My immune system was so compromised that contacting the parasite nearly killed me.

I guess this is as good a time as ever, to indicate the impact that HIV/AIDS has had on the world at large, and multiply that by 10.  I guess this is a strong indicator to signify the impact this disease can have on a single person living with it.  I’ve said in my public speaks sometimes, that I feel there has been unjustifiable proportions of stigma attached to this disease as well.  I state this because I feel I’ve been challenged at times throughout my life for being HIV+, and that this has caused me to become unworthy as a citizen.  I know this all sounds extremely harsh, however, with being a homosexual, which simply means to me you have love for another person of the same sex…end of conversation.  I often think about the loss of valuable time, waiting for our governments to decide if we're worthy of getting married, or adopting children, which god knows, there are plenty of children that need good homes and up-bringing.  So what, if they have 2 mother’s or 2 father’s…wow! 

This makes me feel as well, that my life was unworthy from the beginning, simply because I was put up for adoption.  What a wonderful thing my biological parents did then, to put me up for adoption, so that I would have a fair chance in life. 

Challenges

Memorizing of the script is going alright I suppose.  We have our first group rehearsal this next week, the prologue only, so we still have a long ways to go.  Unfortunately, my friend decided not to partake in the play, however, the role has been filled and I wish us all luck in taking this on for ourselves.

Dennis Shepard – "Matt’s beating, hospitalization and funeral focused worldwide attention on hate.  Good is coming out of evil.  People have said enough is enough!  I miss my son, but I am proud to be able to say that he is my son."

As I stated earlier – the choice of life or death for Mr. McKinney, is in the hands of Matthew’s father.  The whole thing is ripping his family apart.

*******************

I’ve been sitting here for awhile now, trying to think of the biggest challenge I’ve had throughout my own life.  If I had to say off the top of my head, it would be when I was fired from the Alberta Ballet Company, after a 2 ½ yr duration with them.  Looking back at this moment, it really is hard to remain neutral in life sometimes.  Everything I had worked for up to this point was ripped away right under my feet.  I was numb from head to toe.

I was in a company rehearsal, and doing the lead role in Coppelia.  I suddenly lashed out at one of the other dancers, and to this day, I’m not sure what I even said to him.  All I know is that this person was the boyfriend of the girl I was doing the lead role with, and knew for sometime already that there was some jealousy on his part.  I was always one to put 110% into the role I was playing, and the lead role as Franz is an obnoxious character.  Looking back now, I’m certain that I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown.  Anyhow, this just so happened to take place during the afternoon on the day we were to debut the performance that evening, at the jubilee auditorium in Edmonton. 

The following day on the front page of the entertainment section in the Edmonton Sun it read I was fired from the Alberta Ballet Company due to obnoxious behaviour, and that I had been scheduled to perform last evening’s lead role as Franz, in their production of Coppelia. This article I also kept, as I did them all of course.  I did however, go on to perform for Les Ballet Classique de Montreal for 1 year.  Then I went onto Toronto to dance with the Ontario Ballet Theatre for 2 years, before I finally decided to retire.  Ironically, the Ontario Ballet Theatre not only performed in the theatres, but we also travelled to local schools in the greater Toronto areas.  Funny how this is the way it all began for me.  I guess you could say I came full-circle with my career.

I purposely didn’t mention that my first professional contract was with the Atlantic ballet company in Halifax, NS.  This of course was the company I thought I might even be having my entire career with, and set a course for me that I might not have chosen otherwise.  I was so young, Matthew’s age to be exact----21 going on 22 yrs old.  Having just realized this, it sent chills up my spine. 

My eagerness to strive for perfection meant more hard work.  I joined Gold’s Gym and started a program for myself.  I eventually met someone that I became good friends with, and we’d schedule our times together to meet and workout.  In time, we realized we were both gay, and started dating.  This gentleman was not only a beautiful person that had come into my life, but he had set his own career to be a doctor (pathologist).  Before things got too mushy, he had informed me that he was married with one child.  He had for some time been aware of his attraction for men, and even had these conversations openly with his wife.  In time I was brought into the picture, as this gentleman was realizing that I was the person he desired to be with.  His ex-wife is also a wonderful, wonderful, person and did not want to hold her husband back.  She did however, ask him to bear her one more child.  He agreed, and they happily went on with their own lives.  Unfortunately, the company I was with never got funding for their 2nd season. 

As I mentioned, this was the beginning of my wanting to become a professional dancer.  I had been training for this, since I was 10 years old.  This tore us apart of course; he even made me my own music CD to listen to, while I travelled across the country to Alberta, for stage 2 of my professional career.

Laramie Project poster by Michelle Mantle of eMbox Design

An odd play is Bliss.  The big themes – I’ve referred  to  them above  - seem an unlikely mix. Throw in the fact that it all begins in a Wal-Mart store, no less, with the voice of an oracle directing its employees through an ecstatic description of one of Celine’s “last” performances and you know we are not in Kansas.  Instead we seem to be in a clinical setting, tiled with a white bed occupying centre stage.  Turns out that on that bed is staged both Celine’s miscarriage and later, much darker deeds based on the true story of Isabelle Cote, a young woman who has been chained to her bed for decades by her abusive family.

The story, and it’s quite powerful, segues gently from one big theme to another.  So that while we start off in a Wal-Mart, we are soon next in bed with Celine and Renee, just as she is about to have a very bloody miscarriage.  This scene melts, one hardly notices these transitions, into the very nasty Cote family household with Isabelle, not surprisingly, doing not very well at all, albeit surrounded by photos of  - yes – that Celine woman.  Segue next to the hospital where a deathly ill Isabel has been taken, then to the courtroom, then back to Wal-Mart.  Attention shoppers, it’s a wild ride indeed, and all in the space of eighty minutes.

The production values are all top notch – great set, sound and lighting and the four person cast,  Trent Pardy, Jean-Robert Bourdage, France Rolland  and Delphine Bienvenue are pretty flawless.  But the show isn’t without its struggles.  First the device of the cast  assuming the roles of both narrators and characters, switching roles rapidly throughout, hinders  empathy with any of the central characters; you just don’t feel you know them.  Secondly, as you might have guessed, this examination of celebrity  is all a bit grim.  And thirdly, one is left wondering just how well this play translates from its Quebec origins. There are no apparent language issues, but rather English-Canada  audiences may be hindered by a lack of total grounding in both the Celine and Cote legends which grounding I was left thinking may just be central to an appreciation of this play.

All in all, it’s a difficult show to like, at least for me, but not it seems an impossible one. The opening night audience certainly seemed to like it, while I was left divided.  It certainly kept me engaged, less from an emotional point of view but rather one of curiosity, not only about the stories that were unfolding, but where the show would go next. For that alone, it's worth seeing.

Bliss runs until -April 8, 2012 at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander Street, Toronto

Website/tickets  here.  Info:  Please call 416 975-8555