Lately I have been getting inquiries about what it's like to live in New York City. Many of my acquaintances  and friends in the arts here in Toronto are all falling in love with the idea of moving to the Big Apple. I try to tell them that New York is magical and it will definitely cast a spell on you with all of it's legends and tales of success and stardom, but all that glitters isn't gold.

I remember my first trip to New York City. It was in late September of 1990. I was there to audition for a role of a drag queen who could pass as a woman and still play a young man.

It was all so exciting. I went in to some studio to do a reading on 36th street on the West Side. There were about 20 other guys there. I had never read for anything at this point and all I had was a few polaroids of my best drag. I had no theatrical training. I was just a wet-behind-the-ears female impersonator from Tampa, Florida.

The reading went terribly. The producers liked my look but I couldn't act for shit. And I was physically too tall for the role. So, of course….I didn't get the role. This would be the beginning of many rejections in the city that never sleeps. It turns out the role was of "Dill" in The Crying Game. 

I was in town for five days. I was staying with my ex, Michael Parker Haines and his lover Steven. They took me around the city and showed me as much as they could in those days. I had never seen so many tall buildings. Back in Tampa in my art classes I would paint and draw extra buildings in the Tampa skyline to pretend we were a bigger city. I wrote slogans that boasted that I was Tampa's next rising star. I dreamed of so much more than what my hometown could offer. On this short visit, I had auditioned for a major film and even met Madonna at The Soundfactory as Junior Vasquez spun.

So, by the time it came to leave I was smitten. Bitten by the bug of all the dreams and hopes that walk the streets of that huge and frightening town. I knew that I would return one day, for it was all I had ever dreamed of and more. New York City had become a part of my being. Tampa would not contain me any longer. I was made for subways and all night delis. 

It took me a couple of years to get back there. Circumstances would change my ability to work as a DJ in Tampa since I had spun at all of the venues that would have me. So, in 1992 I took a brave step and bought a round trip ticket to LaGuardia. I called up another ex named Michael who lived with his then girlfriend The Electrifying Grace. He gave me permission to stay with them, but had not talked it over with Grace at all. I had only spoken to her on the phone a few times. It was by her generous nature that she allowed me to come stay. By the time I arrived, she had put Michael out and I had come to stay with a complete stranger.

 This is my New York Drag Mother, "The Electrifying Grace". My drag name is homage to her. 

I figured that I would come up to look around for work for a couple of weeks and then take whatever I could get when I got back to Tampa. After all, my whole life was back there. I had an apartment I shared with my adopted brother, Anthony Evans and my lover Michael Gagne. I never believed that I would actually find work in such a huge city. I figured I would be rejected and laughed at as some country bumpkin from the south. 

But the old saying "It's all in who you know" is actually true. Grace was one of the hostesses at Sally's which was mentioned in the documentary Paris Is Burning that I had just watched about six months before arriving. Grace had told the manager, Jimmy Peanuts that I was a DJ. I arrived in the evening on Wednesday, April 29th. On the next day I had my first interview and audition for a job in New York City.

I walked into Sally's around 2 PM in the afternoon to meet with Mr. Peanuts. He looked and sounded like Max from the 80's TV show, "Hart to Hart". He sat at an empty booth with a huge plate of spaghetti and a telephone. I introduced myself and quickly made my way over to the DJ equipment to start to impress him with my skills on the tables. I had brought with me about 20 records. I did my best mixes and tricks in my set. Jimmy seemed unimpressed. In fact, he was on the phone most of the time while I played. Afterwards he invited me to sit down at the table with him.

"So, tell me kid….do you know how to read?" he asked.

"You mean like…" and I began to snap my fingers in a "Z' formation as Blaine and Anton did on"In Living Color".

"No, no, no…not dat faggot shit! I mean as in - see spot run." Jimmy explained.

"Yeah, of course" I said a little confused.

"You're hired." Jimmy said as he continued eating. So, on Friday May 1st I started my new job.

Grace later explained to that evening that apparently Sally's had two DJ's, but neither of them could read. So, they had to pay someone else to sit with them to tell them what to play when the drag shows were on. Meaning that I got my first job in the Big Apple not because of my skills, but because I actually knew how to read. They could care less about what I played. And as they say….the rest was history. My life in the city had just begun. I was never returning to Tampa as a resident. I was extremely lucky. I had landed in the middle of the cast of Paris Is Burning and my education of life in the big city had begun.

"The Illusions" (Harmonica Sunbeam, Tyra Colbaire, myself and Sybil Barrington-the original group). Photo by Panja Jergens taken during rush hour in the middle of Times Square in 1994. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpWc6QLRwQ

I would later form a drag troupe called The Illusions that would be the next generation of"The Pearl Box Revue" at The Cotton Club. I would appear on daytime talk shows like "The Richard Bey Show", "The Maury Povich Show" and "The Ricki Lake Show". I would eventually get roles in movies like Too Wong Foo…Thanks For Everything, Party Girl and Jane Doe. By the end of the 90's I would get my first shot at performing at Wigstock with the fabulous Lady Bunny. And eventually I would sign my first record deal with Progressive High Records to release my first single "Why Are You Gaggin'?" which I would be later screwed for by them selling my track overseas. And the beginning of my 12-year run as the resident Sunday night DJ at Escuelita began when Harmonica Sunbeam asked me to be a part of her team for the longest running T-Dance in New York City.

Of course I missed out on a lot of parts, but I kept at it and had an amazing time learning how the entertainment business is run. The highlights almost overshadow all the days I had only tuna sandwiches for dinner after paying my rent and bills. No one knew all the hard days when work was scarce and I was barely getting by. It wasn't glamorous. It was the real New York.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYRepLl6n9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf0OsmHJoSg

But then I got to thinking about some of the smaller projects that I was a part of. I used to live in the East Village. I entered the Priscilla Queen of The Desert lip sync contest  at HMV on 86th and Lexington. I won and shared the title with a queen named "Chicklet". Little did I know that meeting would turn into a great friendship and a track into some underground films by a brilliant filmmaker called John Jabalaba. Even though the big movie projects helped me get my Screen Actors Guild card, the two films that I did with John were so much fun.

Crowned the winner of HMV's "Priscilla Queen of The Desert" along with Chicklet. If you look closely Robin Byrd was the MC and Michael Musto, Alicia Bridges, Paul Alexander and Girlina were the judges. 

The first one I did was a short film called Lilly White. Chicklet was the star and the cast consisted of some of New York's legendary drag performers like Hedda Lettuce and Miss Understood. I played a drunk woman who answers her apartment door to find a nun collecting funds for a church. Chicklet's character awakes to find her memory is gone along with her identity.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e26kI9eqns&feature=gv 

My second role was that of "The Kept Girl" in another short called Dogs. In this one I was trying my hardest to give my best Marilyn Monroe / Ginger from Gilligan's Island. It's hard to say who was the star of this one. It definitely wasn't me. But the kidnapping of Pepe is a hilarious look at the blurred lines between the drag world and insanity. 

http://www.spike.com/video-clips/z4a8n5/dogs

I think the thing that I enjoyed the most was the work for the art that we were creating. No pay, but it was great to be a part of something that will never happen again. Jabalaba was our Andy Warhol meets John Waters and Chicklet was his Candy Darling meets Divine. I am still friends with both of them till this day. I highly recommend you look this extraordinary visionary up.

http://jabalaba.blogspot.ca/

It also got me thinking about all the gay films (short and long) that are being lost in this age of the internet. Somethings are available on YouTube, but there is nothing like watching a movie in a theatre atmosphere. So, I recently started a gay movie night called "PINK CINEMA @ SLOUCH MEDIA". Our first selection was "PARIS IS BURNING" for Black History Month. The next feature will be on March 7th. Check out the our facebook page and vote on what our next movie will be. There are five choices on the home page. So, go vote! 

This past week, Azealia Banks got into a twitter war with Perez Hilton when he blogged about her beef with up and coming rapper, Angel Haze. I think in an attempt to shed some light on Azealia's child-like attention seeking behavior he tweeted that he liked her music but she tends to drag others down instead of lifting people up.

Banks then tweeted to Perez, "omg u should just kill yourself…. Like for real" followed by "lol what a messy faggot you are."

Now…I'm not the biggest Perez Hilton fan. I actually have only read a couple of things that he has written. And although I don't always agree with what he has to say, I will defend his right to say it.

And it does seem like Azealia has gone out of her way to have something to say about any other female rapper. She doesn't even have an album out yet. It's just been an EP and singles released. And I have to admit…I was in love with her style and flow, but the more she talked to the press and the more she used social media it made me think twice. It's almost like she is sabotaging her career before it gets started. But we have to remember that she's just a kid from Harlem. Many of her followers along with others on Twitter started an immediate backlash with comments. With gay teen suicides so visible in the news, this was a pretty horrible thing to say to anyone.

We often forget that when you take a child from a less fortunate background and place them in the spotlight it does not mean that they will suddenly gain manners and class. Often they are still the product of their original environment.

So, when she tried to give an explanation for her tweet it went like this…."A faggot is not a homosexual male. A faggot is any male who acts like a female. There's a BIG difference." Then she she added, "If u listen to my music and are not offended by the word nigga….We're not gonna go here with this faggot shit…. We're just not. Lol"

That didn't make it any better. So, she eventually had to apologize to anyone she offended, but made sure she pointed out that she was not apologizing to Perez. The worst thing is that in 2011 Ms. Banks told the New York Times that she is bisexual. Is this a case of a "gay on gay" verbal bashing?

Well, as far as I know….I have never seen Azealia with another woman. It's not like photos of her and her girlfriend are popping up everywhere (like Queen Latifah). All I ever hear about her is that she is in the middle of another fight with someone else on twitter. I think she should shut her account down and just concentrate on her music if she wants to get any further. I mean….performing all over the world is great (and I don't knock a girl for getting' huh money), but she is gonna have to drop an album sometime.

And like American Idol's Fantasia, the media is not going to let her get away with any kind of gay slurs. If you had not heard about Ms. Barrino….she just recently went on a rant on Instagram where she  said "I rise ABOVE IT ALL!! THE WORLD IS GONE MAD. KIDS, GOVERNMENT, THE church House….Everybody trying!!!!! It's a lot that going on that the BIble speaks about we should not be doing. Weed legal in some places, Gay Marriage Legal BUT YET I'M JUDGED!!!"

Obviously Fantasia is feeling the pressure of stealing someone's husband in the public eye. Now she wants to throw everyone under the bus because they won't stop talking about it. There's an old saying…."If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!"

But back to the supposedly bisexual Ms. Banks. I am beginning to wonder if she just put her sexuality out there to get a built-in following. I remember when suddenly Madonna was very chummy with Sandra Bernhard back in the late 80's. Certainly the rumors of her playing around with girls didn't hurt her career.

You know, when Donna Summer was accused of being homophobic back in the 80's, she immediately suffered a backlash. She sued a publication for misquoting her and even wrote an apology letter to ACT UP to regain her gay fan base.

Well, I guess Azealia's big mouth has finally done her in. It was reported on January 7th that she scoffed at GLAAD's complaint against her statement when she tweeted "Glaad and all these others need to give it a break… Picking and choosing when to be offended….. Pfffft, as fucking if." She continued "As if all 'derogatory' words are not now in 2013, simply just expletives.

And within hours, it was reported that Interscope Records had opted out her record deal. 

But when it comes to Mr. Frank Ocean it really seems odd that he comes out as bisexual right before his album drops and suddenly he is the bell of the ball. SNL snatches him up immediately for a musical guest spot. He's on the MTV Awards. Late Night loves him.

Now, I admit that it took me a minute to fall in love with "Thinking 'Bout You". Really, the House remixes did the trick because I was not feeling the original. As my husband describes it…it sounded like a bad Prince B-side. But I never heard anything else off that album. I saw no other videos and got very few requests for his material. Neither did his album or single go to #1 on the Billboard charts or even sold enough to go "gold". So, how is it that he is nominated for "Song of the Year" at the Grammy's? Is the industry rewarding him for being the first modern day Black Man to come out (even if it was as a bisexual  and not the full monty of Gay)? 

He also recently got into trouble, but it was an arrest for pot possession and speeding on New Years Eve. It's rumored that the guy in the car with him is who he is dating and was giving him head. I personally don't believe it. Until I see him on video or TV in a mad lip-lock with some dude and hands roaming about all over the other guy's person….I ain't buying it! And I don't care if 50 Cent endorses Frank. I believe he's just doing that to sell his own latest album. He thinks by talking to Oprah and standing behind Frank that we are supposed to forget his homophobic lyrics. The Gay Dollar is a powerful one. Don't forget it. The music industry hasn't.

For a brief moment, I had the same problem with Lady GaGa. It seemed like all marketing for her "Born This Way" single with the statements and the uber-gay visuals until I saw her go to Washington DC to meet with President Obama to discuss the issues of gay teen suicide and gay rights. And although I think her image is going to be her downfall, she really put her money where her mouth was. And unlike Madonna in the mid 90's, she hasn't dropped the Gay Community for a movie career. But then again, Lady GaGa hasn't been around as long as Madonna either.

My point being….is it necessary to lie about one's sexuality to gain them as an audience? I think not. For example….there's a rapper named Macklemore (below, right)who is one half of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and they recorded a great song in support of Gay Marriage called "Same Love". Macklemore is not gay, but he has definitely cemented a gay following. Why? Because he spoke from his heart and the truth about the US and their beliefs on the subject.

But the truth of the matter is that when it comes to marketability the industry wants an artist that looks and sounds like a straight artist but appeals to the gay audience. I guess Nicki Minaj falls right in that category because she's so animated with a large scoop of ghetto and a fake British accent.

So…BUYER BEWARE! Not everything that glitters is GAY. Do your homework and support the real gay artists because if we don't support our own…..who will? 

You know….a man never forgets finding his first chest hair in his whiskey. Especially if it isn't his. And believe it or not, that's how I feel about 2012. While some great things happened during this year, there were quite a few moments I was extremely disappointed with.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed that Obama was re-elected, but the process was despicable! Watching the U.S. show the real underbelly of racism and ignorance was just embarrassing. Seeing how divided the country is on issues of gay marriage and women's rights really put in perspective how old white men are afraid of losing their hold over their world. But it was inevitable that "change" would have to come. From eating Chick-fil-a to assinine Republican mouthpieces like Reihan Salam, my home country really showed their asses. But it was kind of amusing to watch the Republican Party implode with all their old ideas and racist rhetoric.

And speaking of racism, it is a sad note the year that saw the United States' first African-American President's re-election has to also be known for what I believe is one of the worst films ever. Of course I am speaking of Quentin Tarantino's "Django Unchained". From the moment I saw the first previews, I was disgusted. Tarantino's obsession with Black Culture is sick. I really wish he would stop writing scripts that allow him to use the N-word. And apparently the N-word is said about 110 times throughout the film. I was really happy to hear that Spike Lee came out against "Django" (as many should).

There's a situation that has happened here in Toronto with a popular drag performer named Donnarama that has opened a conversation about when is it racism or when it is art. I was not at this performance, but it sparked quite a controversy in the Huffington Post when Donnarama performed a medley of songs in a make-shift burka that also had fake bombs attached to her outfit at Woody's (a popular bar on Church Street in the Gay Village). So a social worker and writer for the Huffington Post decided to complain about how he was offended by her show. Sounds simple and clean, but it wasn't. It sparked a lot of outrageous reactions on facebook and other social media sites. I actually believe the comments that followed were worse than what was done on stage or the original blog.

There have been a few incidents in Toronto that have had racial overtones, like a burlesque performer named Dew Lilly who performed in blackface or the DJ team, Yes-Yes-Ya'll being boo-ed and told to get off the main stage at Pride. In all these situations there seems to be a consensus that our non-people of color have a sense of entitlement when deciding what is racist and what is not. I had major problems playing "N#%gas In Paris" (which has been nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap Song) because I didn't like the idea of white customers coming to me asking for it. If they knew how that word has hurt and plagued so many of my people I don't think they would use it so easily. I'm married to a white man and I couldn't make him say the N-word for anything in the world. Why? Because he understands what a hateful and hurtful word it is. And no matter how many times Nicki Minaj,  Azealia Banks, Jay Z or Kanye West use it in their songs, it still doesn't lessen the sting of it or change the meaning for me. Watching my grandmother being spit on and called a "nigger" in a grocery store in Florida in the 70's has never left my mind. And that is why I don't use the word. I say to all my friends, please try to listen and put yourself in someone else's shoes when you hear them speak against racism.

"The internet has created a space where people feel like they can say anything without consequences."

I can't stop anyone from using the n-word, but I can set an example for those around me. So, I can only imagine the unrest that Rahim Thawer felt when he decided to speak against Donnarama's performance. The horrible things that were said about him also reminded me of the comments that were said about Cecil Singleton when he decided to come forward with his story about his underage relationship with the voice of Elmo. The internet has created a space where people feel like they can say anything without consequences. But with all the suicides and folks losing their jobs because of facebook posts, you'd think that someone would get a clue.

And it was heartbreaking to end the year with the shooting at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. The noticeable absence of gun control as an issue during the election was really brought home with this shooting. And the one thing neither candidate wanted to bring up came back to bite them in the ass. So, now it's put up or shut up for Obama. But again, here's another U.S. issue that is so embarrassing to even talk about. Literally about a month before the shooting, I was trying to explain to someone here in Toronto that not all Americans carry guns and then this happens. I have never owned or held a gun. Most of the people I know are the same, but there are plenty of gun owners in the country and they believe that everyone should own a gun. They don't think that guns are the problem. They will blame anything and everything else except the guns. And honestly….they can put all the bans on assault weapons they want, there are too many guns already out there to fix this problem. That's just my opinion. I hate what happened and I hate guns, but what are they going to do? What can they do? And now folks are calling for Piers Morgan to be deported because he spoke out against the U.S. for their 2nd Amendment on gun laws. Really?

I normally write about music. 2012 was the year of Pop crap that you couldn't get out of your head. Kesha's "Die Young" got dropped off radio playlists and took a nose dive on the charts after the shooting. In my review, I actually said that it was irresponsible for her to write such a song. Then she lied and said she didn't write the song and had a problem singing it.  What a stupid idiot!

And speaking of stupid idiots…..Rihanna. Need I say more? What a set of balls on this one! Opens the year with a duet with Chris Brown with lyrics about having sex with him. He doesn't gets what he wants and then goes online and trashes her. Makes a mix tape version of Kanye West's "Theraflu" where he disses her again. Then she's spotted out with him over the summer. That breaks up his relationship with some other stupid girl. Now they have another duet together on her new album called "Nobody's Business". Three weeks ago, she is tweeting photos of Chris sleeping in her hotel room in Paris. Then she cries on her Oprah interview that she was worried about him and not herself when the beating took place. I know I'll have to play both of their music in order to stay employed, but I no longer have respect for her at all. She's a sad girl in my opinion.

"YouTube hits and Facebook likes are not a career."

But a musical highlight for me this year was hearing that Justin Bieber got boo-ed at the halftime show at the Grey Cup. I am so sick of this young lesbian look-a-like. I never really cared for him to begin with. And after I read his comments about being gay is a choice, I really had no use for him. And his acceptance speech at the American Music Awards this year really left a bad taste in my mouth as well. He accused his critics of just being "haters" and that they are jealous of his success. Bitch…you only have a couple of albums. Come back when you have a complete body of work as an artist. YouTube hits and Facebook likes are not a career. And like most of today's flava of the moment, you will slide down the charts into obscurity. Ask Eminem, Marilyn Manson, 50 Cent and Aaron Carter. And like I said early in 2012, your need to prove that you aren't a kid anymore is gonna be your undoing.

And I really hate Justin for helping Carly Rae Jepsen with launching the most unforgettable piece of crap to ever hit the airwaves…."Call Me Maybe". The only good thing about that song being a hit is that she won't be able to top it. So, "One Hit Wonders" here she comes!

Another person who irritated me this year was the lovely and talented Britney Spears (that was sarcasm if you didn't catch it). Like Christina Aguilera before her, Britney proved that being a judge on a singing competition reality show can really accentuate how much of a superficial bitch she is. She came off so condescending that I wanted to jump throw the television screen and choke her. Every time she said "sweetie" I wanted to vomit! The nerve of her judging anyone on their vocal abilities was just absurd, but I guess Simon needed a new Paula Abdul. And her new single with the ever-so-lyrically-deep Will.I.Am made me want to stop playing Pop music all together. Did you know that all the crap that they featured in the music video for "Scream & Shout" cost $808,284.95?. None of that crap had anything to do with the song. It's just a commercial for more things that we don't really need (except for an amputee who might need the prosthetic hand).

2012 also saw many deaths. Besides the death of Kevin Clash's career, we lost many musical and entertainment legends. We all heard about Etta James, Don Cornelius, Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, Phyllis Diller, Gore Vidal, Bob Welch, Adam Yauch, Andy Griffin, Marvin Hamlisch, Alex Karras, Dave Brubeck, Andy Williams, Larry Hagman and Jack Klugman. And they along with so many others will be missed, but the deaths of gay suicides by teens like Jack Reese, Phillip Parker and Jamie Hubley really stuck in my soul. The "It Gets Better" Campaign is great, but it seems like more kids are dying after being bullied at an alarming rate. I'm happy that there are more programs in schools and more outreach to get students who are bullied to go talk to someone, but it still breaks my heart that there are ones still slipping through the cracks. We will never know the extent of pain in one's heart. And I hope most of us will never know.

But with all my complaints about the past year, it wasn't all bad. I actually accomplished a couple of goals this year. I wanted to start another talent competition where new artists and performers could come and sharpen their craft and I did. TOP STAR debuted at Statlers on August 1st. It had a great run there until November. I had a great article written about my show and me in FAB Magazine by Paul Bellini (famous writer for "Kids In The Hall"). Unfortunately it was cancelled shortly after the article was published. But the good news is that it got picked up by The Flying Beaver a week later. We debut there on January 2nd.

And my other accomplishment was the launch of my POZ-TO Dance Party at CLUB 120. It's a monthly benefit for the POZ Community. There's no cover but we do ask that you donate $5 to go to ACT or donate nonperishable food to the PWA Foundation. Last year this time I wanted to do something for my community and now I am.

I'm hopeful for 2013. Sure…the U.S. may go over the fiscal cliff. Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey may be the end of American Idol. Hillary may consider a run in 2016. And I won't be seeing Tom Cruise's new effort, "Jack Reach-Around". Honestly…how many bad-asses can he play? For God's sake….we have seen him dancing in his underwear! All I know is that this is the best time in my life. I actually feel like I have the power to change my world. I hope that everyone realizes that if they represent change in their own lives they can really change the world. I've got a loving husband and an endless amount of creativity. Let's just hope that others in my community will be up for some change. I know I am!

Inside tbe world of drag

Most of you know me as DJ Relentless, but I am also known as Jade Elektra and I just spent Easter Weekend in Chicago competing in The Miss Continental Elite Pageant. As an out HIV-positive person, it was really a great weekend for me to represent Canada in my first national pageant.

Ever since I came out on the gay scene back in Tampa in the mid 80's, the drag world has always been a major fascination for me. I remember going to The El Goya and seeing my first drag show that featured Joey Brooks, Stephanie Shippae, Bobbie Lake and Gilda Golden. These were the performers who would mold my view of what it meant to be a female impersonator. Glamorous and larger than life. I knew after that show I wanted to be an entertainer.

Back then, there was a talent show on Mondays at a place called René's. This bar was known for producing some of the top title holders. Tiffani Middlesexx, Tiffany Arieagus, Mahogany, Chena Kelly, Lakeisha Lucky, Esme Russell, Dana Douglas, Dana Manchester, Patti Cakes and countless others were headliners there. They had the best talent show in town. Queens would come from Miami and Orlando to make an impression and win $100. Many of today's top legends got their start in that talent show. René's could make or break you. 

First Steps

A wonderful hostess named Tony Rose watched my first attempt at getting attention with a concept number of Stephanie Mills' cover of "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore". I am very glad that no photos have surfaced. I had no idea how to do make up or that I really needed a wig to cover up my jheri-curled hair (remember it was the 80's). But I guess Tony saw some potential in me and pulled me aside after one of the most humiliating nights of my life. She told me that I should show up early the next week and she would help me with my make up. She gave me my first Millie Jackson record, "Live & Uncensored" and told me to learn something off this. She surprised me the next week with not only doing my make up, but also donating my first drag outfit, a simple white Dynasty dress (at least that's what I called it) and a wig. She was my very first drag mother. They don't make 'em like that anymore. This was back when the older queens would teach the younger gyrls the way. God, I miss those days. 

I came up with some of the new crop of gyrls back in those days. Simplicity Hart, Tomeka Love, Donna White, Regina Rheal, Natasha Richards, Tiffany McCray, Syreeta Montiel, Crystal Clear, LaTonya Rogers, Monique LaBelle  and Ebony (my first drag name before becoming Jade Elektra in 1992) were names that dominated that Monday night talent contest. 

With all the tutorials on YouTube and shows like Drag Race, the young gyrls today think they don't need a guiding hand. And all the bad habits and horrible attitudes that RuPaul's little creation has spawned has straight audiences and younger gays believing that this is the future for drag, that your fifteen minutes are your ticket to stardom. But like Madonna said in her interview on Anderson when asked about reality TV celebrities "It may get you in the door, it doesn't guarantee you will stay at the party". And no truer words were ever spoken.  

The Pageant

So, being a contestant in The Continental Elite Pageant was an honour. When I walked into registration at the Park West Theatre and saw Dana Douglas I became a little drag kid again. I remember when she won Miss Continental in 1987. I remember her performance of "Black Velvet" at The Miss Florida pageant that year with this amazing long train to her dress. I began talking with her, thinking she must be a judge, or there to help organize the pageant. But when Jim Flint and Ginger Grant called everyone over to sign up she came over as well. I knew right then that I was looking at this year's winner. This was drag royalty. It would not matter if I had jumped through hoops of fire or what any of the other gyrls were doing - this was the winner for 2012.

After watching and listening closely to the whispered conversations, I learned that some of these gyrls had been in this pageant system for years. Unfortunately I believe they are stuck in it.

Now...anyone who knows me knows that I don't mince words. So, if you are easily offended or you can only see your point of view, I suggest you stop reading right now. Because I am about to tell you what I really think about the Continental pageant system along with most pageants. This is no different than the ballroom scene. These people spend thousands and thousands of dollars to enter these competitions and for what? At the end of the day what does it all mean? Absolutely nothing outside of that circle. They lure you in with the glamour and glitz of what you see on stage, but all the stuff that goes on in the background would probably make a sane person say I will have nothing to do with this.

I also think of the pageant system as a pyramid scheme. Someone on the top of the pyramid is making money off all the people who are involved. Kind of like how RuPaul is making all the money from Drag Race and the contestants are left fighting to be on that show to get a chance to be in the spotlight. And just like the mafia, they take care of their own. Once you are in the family, you are always in the family. But if you don't get accepted into the family, you are encouraged to come back and try again. They might dangle a small prize to keep you interested, but make no mistake....they want your time and money.

Augmentation

Back when I was coming up on the scene, bar owners and promoters would help the gyrls get their breasts done and any reconstructive surgery you would need to be the next beauty. For a while there were a few who wanted to make me into the next Stephanie Shippae. They would have paid for everything if I gave them my youth and innocence. But the one thing I always enjoyed at the end of the show was taking all that stuff off and being Alphonso King Jr. My motto was and still is "If I can't take it off at the end of night, then I don't need it."

I remember my first year in New York City I met a queen named Consuela. She was taller than me (I'm 6' 4") and had these insanely huge implants. At that time I was a DJ at a tranny hooker bar called Sally's on 43rd Street. Consuela got really drunk one night and came over and talked to me as I was packing up for the evening and what she said has always stayed in my head. "If I knew what I know now, I would have never done any of this to myself. You are so lucky. Stay just the way you are. It's not cute waking up at 40 to find that not even 7-11 will hire you."

So, what do you do when you have altered yourself so much that you are unrecognizable and you have implants and facial hair? You are stuck in that life for the rest of your life. Unless you have had some of the best doctors over the years (which most of these gyrls have not) you are probably not healthy from the silicone injected into your body. And the one thing that was really clear is that the Continental System is for transsexuals. Boys who do drag are cute, but they are looking for all the augmentation. Outside of my friend, Scott Cooper, who is still a boy and has not had any work done, I believe that only transsexuals have been winners of Miss Continental. But where is the line between female impersonation and transsexualism? 

Now, don't get me wrong....I love these drag conventions. You get to see all the people you haven't seen in years. And the energy is great. Of course a few folks were trying to get me to join the other pyramid scheme, Miss Gay USA (which I'm told is strictly for female impersonators). And although I have been around these queens for years and around the pageant scene in the background as the DJ who mixed their talents or did the voice-overs for them, I have never really lusted after these titles. I have a few titles and a few crowns from randomly entering a pageant here and there, but I have never felt that these titles have defined me as Jade Elektra. In fact, the highlight of this past weekend in Chicago was getting to perform as Billie Holiday on the Park West Theatre stage. That was absolutely wonderful. I felt completely at home on that stage. And it confirms that I am heading in the right direction with my career as a recording artist and vocalist. Hopefully one day someone will come across the DVD of that performance and say "Wow...where is that queen now? That was a talent!" Because let's face it.....someone doing a live vocal performance in character is not in the same category as a glamazon standing there lip-syncing with back up dancers. Apples and Oranges. I knew that going in, but I wanted to let people know that I was there. And no disrespect to any of the gyrls, but my vision for myself is a lot bigger than this circle. 

To have people come up to me after my talent and ask me if I was really singing or where did that voice come from was my crown and title. No one had ever done a Billie Holiday impersonation at Continental. It was an real honour to have a former Mr. Continental, Antonio Edwards whom I have known for years, come up to me and say"I knew you could sing, but I never knew you could sing like that".  It really made my evening. And hopefully I have opened the door for future impersonators to take a chance on live talents.

I would like to see more classic drag come back. There's only so many music videos that can be recreated on the drag stage. There's so much more out there than the Top 40 that is being rammed down our throats. I sit back and watch all these young ones killing themselves to be exactly like the gyrl sitting next to them in the dressing room. They want to out-do the next one. Well, you can't do that by doing the same numbers you saw on YouTube over and over. You have to be creative and strive for something different. And stop dumbing down the performances. You are in a unique position to educate your audience as well as entertain.

You've got to listen to the ones who were here before you. Their wisdom is very valuable. I try to tell the gyrls I work with simple things that would help them on stage and in life, but most are not listening. I just hope that they don't fall into the trap and lose themselves in this world of drag. If you meet an older queen, sit and talk with her instead of dismissing her.

But back to story of The Baton...

The finals . . 

So, it is the night of the finals at The Baton. There are twelve contestants and we come out in orange presentation. It all seemed surreal to be standing on the most famous drag stage in America. In my heart of hearts, I was hoping that my talent had gotten me into the Top 8 at least. They start giving out awards for best interview, best swimwear, best evening gown and best talent. My name is not called for any of those. They start calling the Top 8 and as they skip over me an epiphany comes to me. "Thank God I am not in this". If I had won any of those things I would be obligated to come back again. But you have to pay your dues with this pageant system, to build your brand with Mr. Flint before you get his seal of approval. And at registration he gave a speech about he might end the Elite pageant if there are not 20 or more contestants next year. Of course Dana Douglas is the perfect candidate to go out and sell the Miss Continental Elite pageant to promoters and bars across the country. This is how the business works.

So, I was very grateful that I did not place and did not make the Top 8. I am free! All I have to do is step down as Miss Toronto Continental Elite in November and I am done.

The drag world still fascinates me. What motivates a man to put on a dress and act like a woman? There are a million stories and reasons why, but for me it is an extension of who I am as a man who has embraced his feminine side and still treasures his masculine side.