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Articles tagged with: drag

Jun11

I’m just not that kind of girl

Tuesday, 11 June 2013 Written by // DJ Relentless Categories // African, Caribbean and Black, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Dj Relentless

DJ Relentless on tranny love and how he deals with suitors when he’s Jade Elektra.

I’m just not that kind of girl

It's that wonderful time of the year when some young men's fancies turn to finding the company of lovely beauties. The beauties are fashionable. They love attention and you might even say these gyrls have something extra. I'm talking about the men who are better known as "tranny chasers" and the gyrls are transsexuals or female impersonators. And given the fact that I have a stage persona known as Jade Elektra, I often get what I call "tranny mail". Very forward messages from aggressive young men in their mid 20's to early 30's who start the conversation with something alluring like "Hey sexy! Damn, I'm horny right now."

Ooh yeah….I'm completely turned on by that. I like the idea that some stranger has decided that not only am I a slut, but I am also available to be at his beck and call at 3:40 AM. Never mind that my profile on facebook clearly states that I am married and a man. This eager beaver has not even glanced at my profile. He has formed all this information from a profile pic.

If you look at their profiles, they usually contain a made up name like Robin Johns (a play on words) or it's a young 20 year old who is in college and probably questioning his sexuality but does not want to go all the way gay. So, a gyrl with a secret plays into his house of straight-dom. He can lie to himself that he was drunk or that they looked like a girl.

Every now and then, I get a message from an old guy who has experience with gyrls like me. They usually lump transsexuals and drag queens together because in their eyes we are all the same. They fetishize that as long as it is in a dress it is feminine and that's all that matters (even if the female role is switched during sex).

Unfortunately for the guys who contact me there are a couple things that go through my mind. First…I am a legally married person who is very happy in his relationship. Sure I fantasize about hooking up with Joe Manganiello….hell, even my husband does (who doesn't). But at the end of the day, the companionship outweighs a 20 minute romp on the side. Give me a cuddle under the blankets with a Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck cartoon on the TV and I am overjoyed. The second thing that comes to mind is the idea that these fools want me to look like what they see in the photos. If they only knew how uncomfortable I am in those shoes and that corset they would not even think of sex at all.

Plus it always reminds me of the one and only time I went home with someone while I was in drag. I was very young….like 19 and this extremely gorgeous Italian man in a convertible sports car wanted me to go home with him back when I lived in Tampa, Florida. The place and time was a Monday night at Rene's. I had just won the talent show and was feeling fab. I barely shaved back then and you couldn't tell me that I wasn't fishy. So, without going into too many details we enjoyed ourselves until the sun came up and then fell asleep. I guess a thing of beauty is only until sunrise. Because I was feeling fab, I stupidly sent my change of clothes home with my cousin who had driven me to the bar that evening. So, it's Tuesday afternoon and I have slept in my make up and only had my skimpy tube dress and heels to wear home. It's bad to have to do the walk of shame the next day. It's even worse to have to do it in a hooker dress.

So, because of this experience I never want to hook up with anyone that is interested in Jade Elektra. They aren't interested in me at all. They are only interested in what they think they see. Just like these boobs who write me on facebook. If they could see what I really look like, I'm sure they would change their tune quickly. A 6 foot 5 black man with a shaved bald head and a slightly stocky build is very different than the long legged, curvy redhead in slinky sequins.

But I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that most of these young guys are not even thinking about safe sex. Not everyone is as open as I am about being HIV-positive. In fact, there are many who never disclose and these horny men are not concerned about the dangers that are out there. And for those who are leading double lives by living on the "D-L", this is how so many women end up in bad situations. This is how HIV travels from one demographic to another.

And this is why legalizing gay marriage is important. Making it safe and accepting to be whatever you are sexually frees minds from the stigma of being called homosexual. Then there would not be any need to sneak around or hide the fact that you like effeminate men or butch women. Perhaps child molestation would be a thing of the past if priests could have sex (be it with a man or a woman). Maybe the temptation to touch a child would dissipate. The school bullies could explore their sexuality without having to beat the hell out of the gay kid who is comfortable with who they are.

I used to get angry when I got these messages on my Jade Elektra facebook page. I would write a nasty reply. I would block them. But now I try to reason with them. Point out where they are going wrong with their approach and advise them to be careful of what they are asking for because they just might get it. And by "it" I mean HIV.

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