Every now and then I catch myself speaking or laughing and I will hear my father’s voice. And as much as I hate it, I can’t deny that I am my father’s son. From the shape of my eyes and nose to the bad varicose veins on my legs….I was definitely made of his genes. And for the past few years I have been thinking about him. Wondering where he is and what he has been doing.

Because my father is 17 years older than me, he would be of the generation that would find computers and facebook a little intimidating. Hell…I can remember when I first started working with them back in the 80’s at The Tampa Tribune. Those black screens with the space-aged green fonts seemed like something out of a movie (“War Games” to be exact). So, he would probably have shied away from ever actually using a computer to find his son. And most likely he didn’t want to find me at all.

You see, my father was a longshoreman. He wasn’t a big man. He was actually kind of thin and spry. Don’t get me wrong…he was strong, but not that big in stature. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving of 1991 at his mother’s house. By this time in my life, I had already come out to everyone in my family. I was living a gay lifestyle and working in gay bars. My father had even come to pick me up a couple times when I was stranded after a drag show at Rene’s (the popular black gay bar in Tampa). So, it was no big deal that I was in drag or had a boyfriend. He had even gone to school with a well known drag queen in town named Zara. But what happened at that Thanksgiving dinner would change our relationship forever.

My earliest memory of my father was my fifth birthday. My grandmother, Carrie, had told me that he had called and said he was going to come see me for my birthday. I remember taking a bath that afternoon. I never wanted to take a bath back then, but I wanted to look good for my father. I put on my Sunday best. I would run and go peek out the front window every time I heard a car go by. This went on for hours. I remember my grandmother making me come and eat a late lunch because he still had not arrived. Then it was getting later in the day. I had tried watching “Underdog” and a couple of other cartoons to keep myself busy until he arrived.

Finally it was after 5 PM and I decided to go wait on the porch. I remember rocking in the chair. It was really warm out and the gnats were swamping the yard. I sat there and waited all day until the sun went down. My father never showed up. This would become a long series of disappointments my father would supply throughout my life.

A few years earlier before that dinner, I was living with my gay cousin Michael and a friend, Godfrey (who went by the drag name Apollonia). Michael (who was also a drag performer named “Michelle Holiday”) had lost his job and was pretending to go to work everyday. Apollonia survived off her drag shows and her boyfriend. I was working as a DJ and drag performer. I happened to call Michael at his job at McDonald’s because my uncle Herb need him to come pick him up and was informed he no longer worked there and would I ask him to return the uniform. After confronting Michael, I told him and Godfrey that I was moving out. We were going to lose the apartment if we didn’t have the rent. Michael was unable to get another job immediately so I moved in with my friend Christie Matthews. Apparently, Michael and Godfrey went to my father and Uncle Herb and told them that I had moved out and left them with the rent.  My father and Herb gave them the rest of the rent and I guess my father started harboring ill will towards me.

Fast forward to 1991 and my father shows up to Thanksgiving dinner at his mother’s house with his current girlfriend. Grandma Sally always had a big meal at the holidays. Even my adopted gay brother Anthony Evans was invited. Now, my dad showing up with his girlfriend doesn’t sound like a problem, but his ex-wife, Teresa and the kids were there. I noticed that he had been drinking before he got there. He was very abrupt with me when he arrived. But like most dysfunctional family dinners, the main event was saved while we were eating.  My father proceeded to tell me that I had ruined his name (since I am a junior), I needed to go out and get a real job and stop hanging around all those faggots before I caught something.

Ironically, the year before I had received my diagnosis of being HIV+. I had no intention of sharing that fact with anyone in my family. I already felt like an outsider since I left home at 16. At the time when my father verbally attacked me at the dinner table, it seemed to have come out of nowhere. I was told later that he was still mad at me for moving out on Michael and Godfrey and felt that I was irresponsible. But this was laughable, coming from a man who didn’t have a permanent residence himself.  I sat and listened for about ten minutes and then I went off.

“You gotta lotta nerve! You ain’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of!” I said.

He gave the same look he did when he punched me in 1980 when I stopped him from beating on Teresa in their kitchen. I remember sitting on the floor after the hit and singing “We Shall Overcome” and him cursing at me. So, I guess he was about to hit me again, but my grandmother wasn’t having it. She threw him out of her house on that Thanksgiving. And that would be the last time I saw my father.

When I describe my parents, I always say that they seemed like my older brother and sister who were always in trouble. Mainly because I was raised my mother’s mother until she died in 1982. It’s funny how life can be like a stacked set of dominoes. You do one thing and it changes so many others’ lives.

My mother was the only girl out of three children. So, my grandmother kept her under lock and key. She was very strict with her and wanted her to go to school to become a teacher. But it was the 60’s and my mother had other plans. She wanted to see Jimi Hendrix live. She wanted to be a part of the Psychedelic Movement. So she got pregnant on purpose and my father was the poor victim. He really loved her and she ran off with a boyfriend shortly after having me. He didn’t know anything about raising a child. So, he took me to the one place he knew I would be safe and loved….my mother’s mother.

Unfortunately for him and all the rest of the women he came in contact with from then on, he would never truly fall in love again. He would become an abusive and womanizing man that had kids all over town.

So, on April 22^nd, 2013 I opened up my facebook account and found a message from a girl named Lakiria. It read: “Miss Teresa misses you and loves you. Please call her.” At first I was going to ignore it, but then I noticed the number had an 813 area code. That’s Tampa. So, I called it.

The joy in Teresa’s voice was so wonderful to hear. Apparently she and my brothers had been searching for me for a while. My step brother, Adrian and his girlfriend, Lakiria came across my facebook profile and decided to write me. I cannot tell you the emotions that overcame me when I started talking with Theresa, my brother Adrian, my brother Anton, my brother Anthony and my Uncle Rudolph.  They were all so glad to finally reconnect with me. It had been 21 years since I had spoken to or seen any of them.

But it was a bittersweet opening conversation with Teresa. You see, my father had died in 2006. So, I finally had my answer. The man that I had despised for all these year was gone. But of course a part of me wishes that I had worked things out or at least got to tell him that I am married now. I believe I have found my purpose in life. I have a family of friends who love me and believe in me. I have a life that I am proud of. But this conversation was reaffirming to hear.  My real family still loves me and they are proud of me. Teresa even told me that she has been walking around the house singing “Bitch You Look Fierce”. Her and Lakira are now the biggest Jade Elektra fans.

My father’s death left so many questions. I wonder if he ever got to see any of my accomplishments. Did he ever hear any of my records? Did he ever see me in a movie or on television? Did he ever know that I really understood him and why he did the things that he did? Would he have embraced me if I had told him that I was HIV+? 

Well, a part of me thinks he would have. Teresa told me that he died of AIDS.

A part of me was shocked, but not surprised. For as many women he had slept with it wasn’t surprising at all. But my Uncle Rudolph shed some more light on something else I had no idea about. My father, like my mother had started doing heavy drugs and was shooting up. And at his funeral, the family discovered that he had three daughters that we knew nothing about. And since he got around - a lot - there’s no telling how many more are out there.

To put the kids in order of age…..it would be me, Von, Jerome, Anton, Anthony. These are the brothers I knew about. We didn’t have the same mothers, but there was no denying that were Alfonso King’s children. Out of protest of not having a father around when I was growing up, I changed the spelling of my name in grade school. Then it became my professional name when I started acting and modeling.

I guess the thing that I regret the most with both my parents is that I never got to tell them that I forgave them. They were two young 17 year olds who were making the best decisions that they could at the time. They had no idea that what they did that day I was conceived would change the rest of so many lives in the aftermath. And although many have said they were horrible parents, they taught me a very valuable lesson……how not to live. I just never got the chance to tell them that I loved them regardless of the mistakes.

I haven't written any music reviews lately. Probably because I'm not understanding what the hell is being released these days. I mean….there's plenty of new releases, but I'm not sure these tracks are worthy of seeing the light of day. 

Okay….let's start with Beyonce's "Bow Down (I Been On)". With lyrics like "Bow down bitches", it's not hard to understand why the gals on "The Talk" were discussing Beyonce's claims of being a "modern day feminist". I guess this would be her equivalent of Michael Jackson's "Bad" done with today's Hip Hop attitude. Um, Mrs. Carter. I have been a fan for years. I've even shared the stage with you as my alter-ego, Jade Elektra, but this song has some of the worst production I've heard in years. And one point it sounds like the tempo changes and then your voice is auto-tuned and pitched down to make you sound like a man. Ewww! What the hell? Look, I know you are married to Jay Z and probably for five years now has been pumpin' your head up with ideas that you are "the baddest bitch on earth". What ya'll say to each other in bed should stay there. Don't let Sasha Fierce take you to a place where you can't get back from. When we met you were such a sweet girl and so lovely to be around. Please keep that image, because this slope you are on now is just really unattractive.

I saw on the Entertainment News the other day that Chris Brown is in the studio with Jennifer Lopez. I hate when labels pair up the "bad boys" with some female artist for some kind of P.R. move to clean up their image. All is not forgiven! I don't care how many photos Rihanna takes of you sleeping in her hotel room! You're still a scum bag and I'll never spend my money on your music again! And why would Jennifer even go that route? Another bad decision like leaving American Idol. Chris Brown's latest release "Fine China" sounds a little like a fusion of an 80's Funk track with some strings thrown in. And he also was bragging to Ryan Seacrest that he has another duet with Rihanna coming soon as well. YAY!….I'm thrilled! (You smell that? That's sarcasm!)

And everyone is concerned about Lil' Wayne after his stint in the hospital for a seizure after drinking too much "sizzurp" (a concoction of prescription strength cough syrup, sodas, hard candies and alcohol). I say "God don't like ugly!" Sounds harsh? After his horrible reference to Emmet Till's torture and murder on Future's track "Karate Chop" he needed to be brought down a peg or two. Even Stevie Wonder could see how offensive his verse was. I mean…the track came out during Black History Month!

http://www.caribbean360.com/index.php/news/667032.html#axzz2PbGWM21r

Anyway….his label must have been worried that he was going to kick the bucket or something because they have released several tracks to the DJ pools in the past few weeks. "Wowzerz" (with Trina), "Trippy" (with Juicy J) and "Rich As F#%k" (with 2 Chainz). None of them sound like anything I would rush to put on my decks. Isn't it time for him to slide back into obscurity? You know...how Eminem, DMX and 50 Cent had to sit down and realize that their 15 minutes were up.

And as the days go by, our little Justin Bieber is getting closer and closer to a major meltdown. I think that the return of Justin Timberlake has shook him to the core. He's trying so hard to do mature things to prove he's not just a teen idol. Hanging around with rap artists like Lil' Twist, trying to physically attack photographers and threatening to kill  and spitting on his neighbor after he complained about him drag racing through the neighborhood. This little punk needs his ass kicked! It's gonna be a sad day when he either steps to the wrong person or he ends up overdosing on drugs and alcohol.

The Bieb's latest offerings are a track with fellow Canadian, Drake called "Right Here" (another syrupy teen track with a rap) and a really tired feature on Will.I.Am's "The Power". I guess the thing that is really sad about the Will.I.Am collaboration is that Will has used every person in the book on his new singles because he's not strong enough to do a solo project. He's just not that interesting enough for anyone to care. He has never written anything with substance and lyrical content. On the scale of Dance Music this track is just fluff. And for Bieber, singing hooks on Hip Hop tracks like "Lolly" by Maejor Ali is not gonna give him street creds. It's just gonna make him look like an industry whore.

But I don't want to end on a sour note. There a few tracks that I am digging these days. First up is the Willy William Club Bootleg of "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton. Really hot production where they slowed it down to 130 BPM and gave it a slight tribal feel and added a female vocal who injects her take on the Etta James sample for "Levels".

And I know that those Joe Fresh commercials must be driving everyone crazy as much as they play day in and day out, but I can't seem to get enough of "Bom Bom" by Sam & The Womp. The Pirupa Remix is giving me my life right now! It works for the voguing kids as well as your latin enthusiasts. Hot! It reminds me of the classic, "Bangin" by Masters At Work.

And speaking of Masters At Work….I normally don't toot my own horn, but I recently just did a rework of their mix of Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough". For those who are used to the original, you won't recognize this version. Other than the vocal, I took it in a completely different direction with some heavy conga production. I believe this would be considered a "Body & Soul" version. Be sure to come up and ask for it if you are at one of my gigs.

And last but not least…."Freaks" by French Montana featuring Nicki Minaj is definitely going to be the Spring Jam. With it's use of Lil'Vicious samples and "Murder She Wrote", this Reggae infused Hip Hop track is infectious on the floor! 

Lately I have been getting inquiries about what it's like to live in New York City. Many of my acquaintances  and friends in the arts here in Toronto are all falling in love with the idea of moving to the Big Apple. I try to tell them that New York is magical and it will definitely cast a spell on you with all of it's legends and tales of success and stardom, but all that glitters isn't gold.

I remember my first trip to New York City. It was in late September of 1990. I was there to audition for a role of a drag queen who could pass as a woman and still play a young man.

It was all so exciting. I went in to some studio to do a reading on 36th street on the West Side. There were about 20 other guys there. I had never read for anything at this point and all I had was a few polaroids of my best drag. I had no theatrical training. I was just a wet-behind-the-ears female impersonator from Tampa, Florida.

The reading went terribly. The producers liked my look but I couldn't act for shit. And I was physically too tall for the role. So, of course….I didn't get the role. This would be the beginning of many rejections in the city that never sleeps. It turns out the role was of "Dill" in The Crying Game. 

I was in town for five days. I was staying with my ex, Michael Parker Haines and his lover Steven. They took me around the city and showed me as much as they could in those days. I had never seen so many tall buildings. Back in Tampa in my art classes I would paint and draw extra buildings in the Tampa skyline to pretend we were a bigger city. I wrote slogans that boasted that I was Tampa's next rising star. I dreamed of so much more than what my hometown could offer. On this short visit, I had auditioned for a major film and even met Madonna at The Soundfactory as Junior Vasquez spun.

So, by the time it came to leave I was smitten. Bitten by the bug of all the dreams and hopes that walk the streets of that huge and frightening town. I knew that I would return one day, for it was all I had ever dreamed of and more. New York City had become a part of my being. Tampa would not contain me any longer. I was made for subways and all night delis. 

It took me a couple of years to get back there. Circumstances would change my ability to work as a DJ in Tampa since I had spun at all of the venues that would have me. So, in 1992 I took a brave step and bought a round trip ticket to LaGuardia. I called up another ex named Michael who lived with his then girlfriend The Electrifying Grace. He gave me permission to stay with them, but had not talked it over with Grace at all. I had only spoken to her on the phone a few times. It was by her generous nature that she allowed me to come stay. By the time I arrived, she had put Michael out and I had come to stay with a complete stranger.

 This is my New York Drag Mother, "The Electrifying Grace". My drag name is homage to her. 

I figured that I would come up to look around for work for a couple of weeks and then take whatever I could get when I got back to Tampa. After all, my whole life was back there. I had an apartment I shared with my adopted brother, Anthony Evans and my lover Michael Gagne. I never believed that I would actually find work in such a huge city. I figured I would be rejected and laughed at as some country bumpkin from the south. 

But the old saying "It's all in who you know" is actually true. Grace was one of the hostesses at Sally's which was mentioned in the documentary Paris Is Burning that I had just watched about six months before arriving. Grace had told the manager, Jimmy Peanuts that I was a DJ. I arrived in the evening on Wednesday, April 29th. On the next day I had my first interview and audition for a job in New York City.

I walked into Sally's around 2 PM in the afternoon to meet with Mr. Peanuts. He looked and sounded like Max from the 80's TV show, "Hart to Hart". He sat at an empty booth with a huge plate of spaghetti and a telephone. I introduced myself and quickly made my way over to the DJ equipment to start to impress him with my skills on the tables. I had brought with me about 20 records. I did my best mixes and tricks in my set. Jimmy seemed unimpressed. In fact, he was on the phone most of the time while I played. Afterwards he invited me to sit down at the table with him.

"So, tell me kid….do you know how to read?" he asked.

"You mean like…" and I began to snap my fingers in a "Z' formation as Blaine and Anton did on"In Living Color".

"No, no, no…not dat faggot shit! I mean as in - see spot run." Jimmy explained.

"Yeah, of course" I said a little confused.

"You're hired." Jimmy said as he continued eating. So, on Friday May 1st I started my new job.

Grace later explained to that evening that apparently Sally's had two DJ's, but neither of them could read. So, they had to pay someone else to sit with them to tell them what to play when the drag shows were on. Meaning that I got my first job in the Big Apple not because of my skills, but because I actually knew how to read. They could care less about what I played. And as they say….the rest was history. My life in the city had just begun. I was never returning to Tampa as a resident. I was extremely lucky. I had landed in the middle of the cast of Paris Is Burning and my education of life in the big city had begun.

"The Illusions" (Harmonica Sunbeam, Tyra Colbaire, myself and Sybil Barrington-the original group). Photo by Panja Jergens taken during rush hour in the middle of Times Square in 1994. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpWc6QLRwQ

I would later form a drag troupe called The Illusions that would be the next generation of"The Pearl Box Revue" at The Cotton Club. I would appear on daytime talk shows like "The Richard Bey Show", "The Maury Povich Show" and "The Ricki Lake Show". I would eventually get roles in movies like Too Wong Foo…Thanks For Everything, Party Girl and Jane Doe. By the end of the 90's I would get my first shot at performing at Wigstock with the fabulous Lady Bunny. And eventually I would sign my first record deal with Progressive High Records to release my first single "Why Are You Gaggin'?" which I would be later screwed for by them selling my track overseas. And the beginning of my 12-year run as the resident Sunday night DJ at Escuelita began when Harmonica Sunbeam asked me to be a part of her team for the longest running T-Dance in New York City.

Of course I missed out on a lot of parts, but I kept at it and had an amazing time learning how the entertainment business is run. The highlights almost overshadow all the days I had only tuna sandwiches for dinner after paying my rent and bills. No one knew all the hard days when work was scarce and I was barely getting by. It wasn't glamorous. It was the real New York.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYRepLl6n9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf0OsmHJoSg

But then I got to thinking about some of the smaller projects that I was a part of. I used to live in the East Village. I entered the Priscilla Queen of The Desert lip sync contest  at HMV on 86th and Lexington. I won and shared the title with a queen named "Chicklet". Little did I know that meeting would turn into a great friendship and a track into some underground films by a brilliant filmmaker called John Jabalaba. Even though the big movie projects helped me get my Screen Actors Guild card, the two films that I did with John were so much fun.

Crowned the winner of HMV's "Priscilla Queen of The Desert" along with Chicklet. If you look closely Robin Byrd was the MC and Michael Musto, Alicia Bridges, Paul Alexander and Girlina were the judges. 

The first one I did was a short film called Lilly White. Chicklet was the star and the cast consisted of some of New York's legendary drag performers like Hedda Lettuce and Miss Understood. I played a drunk woman who answers her apartment door to find a nun collecting funds for a church. Chicklet's character awakes to find her memory is gone along with her identity.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e26kI9eqns&feature=gv 

My second role was that of "The Kept Girl" in another short called Dogs. In this one I was trying my hardest to give my best Marilyn Monroe / Ginger from Gilligan's Island. It's hard to say who was the star of this one. It definitely wasn't me. But the kidnapping of Pepe is a hilarious look at the blurred lines between the drag world and insanity. 

http://www.spike.com/video-clips/z4a8n5/dogs

I think the thing that I enjoyed the most was the work for the art that we were creating. No pay, but it was great to be a part of something that will never happen again. Jabalaba was our Andy Warhol meets John Waters and Chicklet was his Candy Darling meets Divine. I am still friends with both of them till this day. I highly recommend you look this extraordinary visionary up.

http://jabalaba.blogspot.ca/

It also got me thinking about all the gay films (short and long) that are being lost in this age of the internet. Somethings are available on YouTube, but there is nothing like watching a movie in a theatre atmosphere. So, I recently started a gay movie night called "PINK CINEMA @ SLOUCH MEDIA". Our first selection was "PARIS IS BURNING" for Black History Month. The next feature will be on March 7th. Check out the our facebook page and vote on what our next movie will be. There are five choices on the home page. So, go vote! 

Over the past couple of weeks, I've developed a rapport with Billy Newton-Davis following being introduced by Black Cap’s Executive Director, Shannon Ryan. I have been booking entertainment for my new monthly dance party, POZ-TO (which benefits local AIDS organizations) and I am happy to announce that Mr. Davis has agreed to be our special guest on the March 3rd event, along with Miss High Performance 2011-12, Lady G.

It’s the Saturday afternoon after the huge snow storm here in Toronto. I was supposed to meet up with Billy today, but we decided that it would be easier to do this interview over the phone. He called me around 1 PM to say that he had just got in the door and was in need of some lunch and that he would call me back in about 30 or 40 minutes. I thought to myself....this will work perfectly because I had just sat down and started watching a classic black and white film called “Pinky”. “Pinky” was a term used to describe a light-skinned black person who could pass for white. In 1949, Twentieth-Century Fox tackled this very controversial subject.

I had not actually seen this one, but had read about it. My only real reference to the film was a story that Lena Horne shared on her “The Lady & Her Music” album. She explained that she was up for the role and that Max Factor had even created a special make up for her called “Light Egyptian”. Well, to her disappointment she didn’t get the role. “Instead they rubbed my Light Egyptian all over some pretty little white gal named Jeanne Crain” she joked in her monologue before breaking into “I’’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter”.

It was funny that I was concerned about finishing this movie, because so was Billy. When he called me back I happened to mention that I was enjoying “Pinky”. He explained that he had seen the movie four times before but had not made it to the courtroom. So, he didn’t care for the film before today and had often confused it with “Imitation Of Life”, another one of my favourites. Now...you are probably wondering why I am telling you all about us watching the same film on TV. It actually played a big part in starting our conversation.

Talking about the film led to talking about being African-American in Toronto. I was surprised to find that his experience here was very similar to mine. The first thing that you notice when you get here is that the Black Community is almost completely Caribbean. It is always interesting to me how Black People from other parts of the world interact with Black People from the U.S. In my opinion, it sometimes feels like we are blamed for our history in America. Billy pointed out that because of religious beliefs, we as Gay Black Men are really considered taboo to the Caribbean and African cultures.

Then we started talking about the struggles of being a light skinned Black Man and our childhoods. It probably sounds strange to some, but there is a prejudice that excists between blacks over skin shades and tones.

He also told me about his relationship with his mother. Describing her as having the beauty of Lena Horne and the sophistication of Eartha Kitt, he shared how he used to act as her personal stylist as a child. They were very close, he said, until he came out to her in 1973. He had grown up in almost every kind of church. His mother was very religious and did not accept him for being who he was. He explained “I fought every second of my life for freedom.” He believes that it is his destiny to still be here.

As the conversation went on I discovered that we had even more in common. Like myself, his grandmother was the one in his family who stood up for him and embraced him, no matter what his sexual orientation was. And with the support of his grandmother and aunt he was armed to take on the world. “They were my rock” Billy told me. Both of us too were the ones who as kids were always ready to put on a show for a room full of adults.

“My happiness was never gonna be in Cleveland. I was Black and gay. I was always fabulous and I loved entertaining people.” he said. So, he left for New York City to pursue his dreams.

When I asked what brought him to Toronto he explained that he came to town with the Broadway Show, “Eubie” in 1980. It was an eight- week run of a musical about ragtime piano player Eubie Blake that featured Terry Burrell, Winston Dewitt Hemsley and The Hines Brothers (Gregory & Maurice).

Billy told me “The show was ending and the next stop was San Francisco. There was a delay and then I got a call from my manager saying that the show was continuing without me. I was part of the ensemble, but I wasn’t a great dancer. I always wanted to sing and a friend here in Toronto convinced me to stay. I ended up doing a few more musicals until I eventually got a deal with Sony in 1984. I won my first three Junos for my work on my first and second albums and then in 2008 I won a Juno for a single with Deadmau5. I remember feeling really good because I won over all these young artists on the dance scene. And then some group called Chromeo wrote some blog complaining that I had no business winning over them at the awards that year. Sayin’ something about that they had headlined at Madison Square Garden and was on top of the charts. I wrote such a scathing rebuttal that I think they took notice. I wrote that I too had headlined at Madison Square Garden, performed in Paris and performed with disco diva Gloria Gaynor.”

When I went looking for the blog by Chromeo, I found that it had been taken down. I believe that they felt Billy didn’t deserve to win the Juno because he was too old and not a natural born Canadian. But I’m sure after he wrote his rebuttal they were advised that speaking against a legendary artist who not only had a solo career, won a Juno for his duet with Celine Dion and also was a member of The Nylons was not a good move if they wanted to continue in the industry. One thing that I do love about the music entertainment industry here in Canada is that they truly honor and respect their artists here.

And I have to say I agree with him that he was destined to be here doing the work that he is doing. Just living his life as an Out Black Gay Man who is HIV+ is important work.

“HIV does not rule my life. It’s an aspect of my life, but there is so much more to me” he said.

When I approached him about being a special guest for our event and mentioned that this particular month Black Cap was coming on as a beneficiary he immediately said yes.

“Although ACT has helped me back in the early 90’s back when my partner was a parishioner at MCC, Black Cap has always held a special place in my heart.  I remember my first meeting with Juanita Hall. I just felt like I needed to do something for the Black Community. Being that the people who were clients at Black Cap were from Caribbean and African backgrounds where religion kept them in the closet, I felt that they needed an out positive person to step forward to set an example. Black Cap needed a person like me. People tend to listen to me” Billy explained.

Billy shared with me that he had recently watched the documentary about me and my alter-ego, Jade Elektra on YouTube called “Shades of Jade”.  He expressed that he felt like we were kindred spirits. I felt honored. He asked if I knew Chris Edwards. I told him that she has been a great friend to me and was the first to book me when I arrived in Toronto. “I love that girl! You know, she is the reason that queens are allowed in The Eagle on Church Street. We had booked her as a host for an event there and they refused to let her in. We all stood by her and fought for her to get in.” Wow...so much history. 

We bonded over the Pearl Box Revue. I told him about how Dorian Corey (a founding member of the Pearl Box Revue and personality in "Paris Is Burning") was the one who talked me into performing again after I moved to New York City. He couldn’t believe that I actually knew her. He remembered that his parents used to sneak him into their shows when they came to Cleveland. “I was afraid of these big women. As a small child, they were larger than life and seemed dangerous.”

And as we spoke of divas that shaped our lives, I shared my experience of performing with Beyonce in 2003. “I imagine she is the only diva!” he said. But I explained that she wasn’t when I met her. She was extremely humble and down to earth. I still have the autographed doll she gave me before she, Harmonica Sunbeam and myself took the stage at The Roxy. She was so down to earth backstage, but when she hit the stage she became the diva that we know from her performances. She totally left it on the stage. Billy seemed impressed from my description. And in an odd way it brought me to the idea that Beyonce sort of represents a modern day "Pinky". "When I watch her I see Tina Turner. I see Diana Ross and even Dorothy Dandridge." he said. We both agreed she evokes all of the divas from the past with her passionate stage presence.

So, I am looking forward to his performance on March 3rd. I chose Lady G. to open for him because she is a graduate from one of the many programs at Black Cap. In many aspects, she is a shining example of what Black Cap is about - creating a safe and open community where today’s LGBT Black Community in Toronto can grow and learn from each other.

I have written a few blurbs about Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, but now I am happy to announce that they have crossed over into the mainstream. They first caught my attention with their beautifully crafted track “Same Love”. I was watching Ellen one afternoon and she brought them on to perform it. The lyrics really touched me because it was the first time I ever heard a straight Hip Hop artist rap about gay rights.

Well, their latest single, “Thrift Shop” has topped the Billboard charts for the past three weeks. It’s catchy and clever. Who would have thought a little diddy about finding bargains at a second hand store would be a hit? Well, with the economy the way it is in the US, it’s not that hard to believe. Remixes like the one by “Bombs Away & Komes”, “John Twig & Crowfield” or the “Beatfreakz” are all pretty cool, but none of them compare to the original. Although, I must say that the “Ravi Remix” is a great DJ tool to get you from a low BPM to a full Club speed.

It seems like Rihanna’s (right) label is flooding the market with singles at the moment. I just recently got two new remixes of “Nobody’s Business”. Pete Down basically took the album version with Chris Brown and tweeked it up to 125 BPM’s, but the Cousin Cole’s House Edit took Mr. Brown out and gave it an early 90’s House production. Both cute, but the idea that the song is flaunting her on-again-off-again relationship with Chris Brown really kinda turns me off to the track. And “Loveee Song” with Future has had a few remixes pop up as well.

Apparently “Jump” is going to be the next big single. This re-write of Ginuwine’s classic, “Pony” has definitely got the kids bumpin’ and grindin’ on the floors across the country. It’s Trap production (a fusion of downtempo Hip Hop and Dubstep) seems to be a hypnotic to those who love the sexy wobble of this hybrid. “Pour It Up” is another downtempo track, but I did find a pretty cool Club remix by Valentin Marlin. There’s this sappy ballad called “Stay” which seems like a weak single. I recently got an even weaker remix by Erol Sabadosh which does not seem like it would work in any club. And the return to her Jamaician roots with “No Love Allowed” is definitely Old Skool Reggae. The Mighty Mi & Slugworth Moombahthon remix would probably work better for my floor. But I’m not sure that all these releases will work unless she is doing some mega video shoot to get the visuals out to seal the deal.

Because I don’t listen to the radio anymore, my only outlets for what’s popular are charts and what people request when they come to my booth. Like newspapers, I find radio stations to be a waste of time. I mean... whatever they are paid to play will be hits. Just as whatever they are paid to write will be stories in papers and magazines. Rarely do actual artists break through the machine that is the music industry. I guess that’s why I was so happy about “Thrift Shop”. People actually watched that video on YouTube and actually came up to Club DJ’s and asked for this track.

So, when I saw Kendrick Lamar on SNL, I was like...”Who the hell is this?” He wasn’t bad, but he didn’t really stand out either. He did a track called “Swimming Pools”. Interesting, but again....not really my cup of tea. But then I checked out some of his other tracks and came across a song called “Poetic Justice”. This ode to Janet Jackson and the John Singleton’s 1993 movie with Tupac made me nostalgic for my early 20’s. The sample of Ms. Jackson’s “Anytime, Anyplace” brought back plenty of memories. Did it make me a Kendrick Lamar fan? No. But I will listen out for any future releases.

And speaking of finding out about a song on a TV show, the new Kenya Moore (right)  track, “Gone With The Wind Fabulous” is another attempt to extend someone’s 15 minutes. I was watching Anderson Cooper’s talk show and she was on. They played a clip of her performing it on some show on E! I kinda chuckled when she told the audience that she gets mistaken for Beyonce and no one responded. These girls from the Atlanta Housewives seem to release another dance song every couple of years. I played it last week for the first time and got no response. So, you can bet that it won’t happen again unless someone asks for it.

Recently, I started programming volume seven of my “Relentlessly Cunty” series and my good friend Franklin Fuentes sent me a link to a new remix by Josh Peace of his track with Azealia Banks called “Fierce”. Originally this was a track by Drums of Death that took samples of Franklin from previous tracks and then Azealia boosted the track for her mix tape. And though I loved the original track, I must say that Josh really turned this remix out! He gave it a new bounce with samples of George Kranz’ classic “Din Da Da”. Extremely hot!

So, everyone is jumping on the band wagon of dogging Beyonce. First they spent a couple of weeks bitchin’ about her lip syncing at the inauguration. And now they are dogging her for unflattering photos taken during her Superbowl Halftime Show. I thought her performance was fine. Of course Kelly and Michelle’s microphones were a little lower than Ms. Knowles’. And now they are blaming her for the blackout as well. I just wish they would leave this woman alone. Don’t they realize that it’s only gonna get worse. She’s got a World Tour, a documentary and a new Destiny’s Child album coming out. She’s about to be all over the news everywhere....again! I’m just curious why they didn’t do their ultra boring new single, “Nuclear”. What a yawn of a track!!! Let’s hope that they get some serious remixes done because this thing is not going any where!

And meanwhile on the commercial front....Kesha’s “C’mon” seems to be doing well. Justin Bieber’s acoustic album has put him in the category of the youngest person to have five #1 albums on the Billboard charts. I’m kinda lovin’ the Pitbull and Jennifer Lopez duet, “Drinks For You”. It’s got that 90’s House feel that seems to creeping back onto the dance floor. And I can say “I Love It” when I hear the latest single by Icona Pop. Catchy and juvenile at the same time. And lastly...I’m almost ashamed to say it, but the Solidisco remix of Bruno Mars’ (right) “Locked Out Of Heaven” is slowly becoming one of my favorites as well. It sounds so much like an old Police song that I often mix it with the Freemasons remix of “Every Breath You Take”.

As I write this blog I am overjoyed and even more optimistic than I was four years ago. Of course I was not awake during Obama’s second inauguration. The life of a DJ/performer is not that of a morning person. But I was smart enough to DVR it.

In my life time, I have witnessed many moments in history. Watergate, Grace Jones making her debut on the Merv Griffin Show, the assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan, the day that Martin Luther King Day went into law, the Challenger disaster, Michael Jackson being rushed to the hospital after catching fire during a Pepsi Commercial, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the first attempt to blow up the World Trade Center, O.J. Simpson  acquitted, Princess Diana’s death, the Monica Lewinsky Scandal, Columbine, 9-11, George W. Bush announced as the winner in 2004, Hurricane Katrina, the Wall Street collapse, Barack Obama announced as the 44th President of the United States and too many others to name. The world would never be the same. But after watching the inauguration today, I have to say that I have truly witnessed beyond history.

I remember when Ossie Davis died in 2005. After watching his wife, Ruby Dee at the funeral on NY1, it left me wondering who is going to do the work of the civil rights for the black community. It felt like Ossie’s death was a sign that our black history was fading away and being lost in hip hop culture. The heroes of the day at that time were folks like 50 Cent and Jay Z. And even looking them both now, it is fantastic to see the growth of both rap artists. In 2012, 50 Cent came out in support of Frank Ocean’s announcement of being bisexual and sat down with Oprah after being quoted as saying her show was for white women. And to think that Jay Z went from beefing with Nas to being one half of the most powerful couples in black culture. Time has definitely changed the world. And then I watched an interview with a senator from Chicago on Ms. Winfrey. “Audacity Of Hope” was more than a book. It became a movement that would lead to our first African-American president. It should have been called “The Audacity To Dream”.

I guess the weird thing for me has been watching the social media postings after the event. From catty gays comparing Mrs. Carter to Whitney Houston to shit-stirrers releasing statements complaining about Obama using Dr. King’s bible....it is really unbelievable that this is what people are taking from this historic moment. I have read all kinds of hateful posts and death threats to this President and I can remember all the folks who were upset with Obama because he wasn’t handling their personal issues. As if he didn’t have enough on his plate when he took office the first time. In my opinion, none of these petty comments or posts could overshadow what the President had to say today.

I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Obama’s speech at the inauguration. For me to hear a sitting president make a reference to the Stonewall Riots and compare it with other civil rights events really made me proud to be a gay African-American. Then he directly said that we will not succeed as a nation until our gay brothers and sisters are considered equal. Of course he spoke of many issues like global warming, equal pay for women and the pursuit of continuing Dr. King’s dream. The idea that this was the 50th Anniversary of the “I Have A Dream” speech really put into perspective how much the United States has grown. It is nowhere near finished, but I am so hopeful for the future. And to borrow a Gossip song, the US has begun to “Move In The Right Direction”.

A tear of joy slid down my cheek as I realized that anything is possible as Obama was sworn in for the second time. I wiped it away as I realized that a statue of Rosa Parks will be added to Statuary Hall in Washington DC. Listening to Myrlie Evers-Williams leading us in prayer made me want to go up in the spirit. My heart was full when I watched James Taylor, Kelly Clarkson & Beyonce sing their hearts out. How amazing that must have been to be a part of this slice of history. Forever being noted for this moment. And looking at Michelle Obama and their daughters it reminded me of all the first families that have come through the White House and how they are shaping the country as well.

It inspired me to do a mix to express my happiness and faith in what Martin Luther King  and President Obama have brought to the future. I know now that there will be a female President. I know that more gay people are going to be more visible in politics. I know that one day their will be a trans-gendered person in public office. The times are a changing....and they are changing for the better.