It’s kind of funny as many of my main column titles have always been chosen for their ability to titillate and give a double meaning to some Sanskrit word or phrase I am going to use but this one spells it out quite simply
Sex is not something I have ever wanted to write about. It’s something that I have found works better more as a doing thing than a talking thing (but sometimes a talking while you’re doing thing can be fun). Lately it seems it be hanging in the air more often than not. With the increase of social media devices and connections we have more men at our fingertips, and in some cases, literally in the palms of our hands. Be they coming from friends or co-workers trying to fix you up with this guy they know, or men in the gym, on the bus, the line-up at your grocery store, the guy who sells you your falafel sandwiches – it’s out there and it wants to get in your lap.
If one really wants it bad enough, there is ample - AMPLE - opportunity to have sex on a weekly, daily, or even hourly basis if one tries hard enough. It’s almost like you can radiate it out like you’re a lit up beacon sending out sex signals in multiple directions. But is that really a good thing?
Not sure if anyone has had the chance, but a movie came out recently that captures the “dark side” of sex to an extreme. Shame. It is a powerful, almost disturbing view into the life and mind of a sex addict and how he lives his life and gets his “fix”. He has invested so much of his energy, his essence, into this pursuit and, without spoiling the movie; you can see how this turns out for him yourself. Perhaps then, there is a way to refine and hone this in more precisely?
The fourth yama mentioned in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is Brahmacharya which can be loosely translated to mean sexual restraint. And no, they do not refer to being tied to a St. Andrew’s cross. Although this can be viewed in many beliefs to mean sexual abstinence (and is practiced by several yogis and religious beliefs as such), I like to think of it as sexual refinement – instead of exploding sexual energy in all directions at all times, that it can be refined down, drawn together, and channeled – like a laser beam. Brahmacharya can be even interpreted as simply a moderation in all our actions.
There is an irresistibility that comes from sex, joy, thrill, whatever “it” is or you want to call it. This energy can be used incorrectly in the wrong hands. It’s sort of like yellow cake uranium that way. It can power a city or blow up the region, depending on how it’s used. My personal belief on this power comes from a saying Spider-man’s Uncle Ben would tell him “With great power, comes great responsibility”, and sex is a lot like that.
This is not even about the whole HIV thing I’m talking about. Simply the sexual energy that transfers between one individual and another may not ever be in the sexual arena of conquest. It is so much fun to flirt with people that may not lead anywhere, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that the other person may actually feel like this is something more than a flirting thing. They may see a possible future in something that doesn’t exist... can you see how this could possibly Chernobyl someone? Perhaps you are asking why that would be even important. This again comes from the First Yama – Ahimsa – which means non-harming (more on Ahimsa can be found here and that all other concepts of yoga and the practice are founded upon. It is the bedrock of all that come after it – and this is an area where some refinement may be required.
I hope that anyone reading doesn’t believe that I am choosing or suggesting one lifestyle choice as being better than any other. It’s like my favourite frozen yogurt place, Menchies: I personally hope that all who want to have sex do so freely in whatever flavour(s) or texture(s) they enjoy it in, with as many toppings and sauces they love. Sometimes even with a cherry on top!
When it comes to firing off your sexual energy bullets, in whatever direction, aim, fire wisely, and watch out for stray bullets!