For better or for worse, my life is always about re-invention. When I found out that I was a snake in the Chinese zodiac signs, I didn’t think that was good. A friend pointed out that snake can be good, a sign of shedding many skins.
My approach in life is to try new things, not knowing if I have one modicum of talent and just go for it anyway. If I didn’t do well, then at least I knew.
Even when I was stuck, I was re-inventing myself. Unfortunately they weren’t in healthy ways, but nonetheless, I was flying around the world. I made New York and Amsterdam my second homes.
What I had to learn, and it took me a long time, was that I needed to find something that appeals to my risk taking & reinvention is safe healthy ways. Also I needed to find meaningful exciting experiences that didn’t involve getting on a plane. I needed to find the same passion I had when I was abroad and bring it home. We can’t have our happiness conditional upon being in Europe or wherever floats your boat more.
If I have to keep up doing my “She’s Still Here Tour” launching on World AIDS Day, then I had better something new to talk about other than my HIV.
OK, so my last post was a dare of my own to write down 15 goals, dreams, or things you just have to get done but have been procrastinating. I've actually taken on a couple things since I had the idea to write this. Some of these I will always consider a work in progress.
Now I dare my follow contributors to come up with their lists.
Stand-up comedy - work in progress
After years of procrastination I forced myself to do it. I’ve done one set in Hamilton and one in Toronto. Both went very well and I’m now going to do a set for a fundraiser in Woodies at the end of March. I’ll be going to a couple open mics in Hamilton. An entire new world is opening up to me. What I love about the stand-up is getting to know some really cool people, and being able to be out at different venues. Oddly enough, I kind of prefer the straight rooms. We’ll see after March.
Create a nice living space - work in progress
Began painting apartment and getting rid of old furniture. I am getting a few new pieces. My place is feeling like a completely new apartment. I have lived in a darkly painted apartment for almost 10 years. Still more work to be done.
Being a father
Believe it or not, I always thought I’d be a father. I’m saddened that didn’t happen. I suppose I should never say never. But it’s a long shot. But why not have the dream. I don’t even care if I’m involved with the kid, I just want to know that I have a child out there and that a part of me will carry on.
Creating meaning work in my life -Exploring spirituality - work in progress
This has been an ongoing struggle for me for last decade or so. Creating PositiveLite.com has been enormously beneficial for me. I couldn’t do what I was doing any more. I had no sense of ownership over it or passion. I like the idea of creating something new and innovative.
The site is doing well and will be going through more changes so stay tuned!
There are some that say that all I do is work in HIV, which isn’t true. They don’t see the other worlds I walk in; people think that I solely concentrate on it. It is a lot of work and demands it. Even so, Positive Lite.com is so much more about HIV. It is about writing, managing, tech work, videographer, film editing, interviewing interesting people and so much more.
Exploring spirituality - work in progress
This has been a natural evolving past for me since about 2007ish. It has been an amazing journey that really has changed my life in so many ways that I could not list it here. I’m not suggesting this be something on someone’s lists, it’s just what I ended up pursuing. I’m getting to know great people in different communities, where I can check the subject of HIV at the door.
Learn how to use my good camera (I need a weekend long class in it)
Be a film maker
Procrastinating – when do I have the time?
To find a French-speaking Jewish boyfriend.
I put this on in jest, but wouldn’t it be nice.
Get back to exercising
I’ve left my healthy changes as the winter carried on. I have to get back to this routine.
To see my family more in Winnipeg
Will be seeing them in April. I have points that can get me there for about two or three more trips.
Organize my workspace
Major procrastinating – not a good organizer. Should get someone to do it for me.
Fix up my balcony for summer.
I’ve never done this, it would be very nice for this summer.
A trip to Israel
This will happen sometime in the next year. I have the points for the flight.
A trip to South America
Would love to study Spanish in Buenos Aires for a month!
Play with photographic images to create art.
Take acting class
One day when I can focus on it. This one scares me and I'm going to have to do it one day. I think I'd suck at it, and maybe I would, but gotta try.