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Sep20

Negativity is a subtraction

Thursday, 20 September 2012 Author // Wayne Bristow - Positive Life Categories // Hobbies, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Wayne Bristow

Wayne Bristow: “I use to be very negative towards "positive thinking", I've changed and it’s paying off, big time!”

Negativity is a subtraction

It’s starting to amaze me that with all the positive thinking I have embraced it is now taking me in so many positive directions. Just a few years ago I was stuck in a dead-end factory job, 27 years at one job, and then in 2007 it closed. As my final hours in there were ticking away I had a plan, I had to have. I guess that’s when I started to think positive, I always knew there were things I wanted to do but I became comfortable where I was, I loved that weekly pay cheque. 

As I put my plan into action, I did the work and one thing after another fell into place. A year later, I had gone back to school, learned a whole new job and I was employed again. My health was good, my immune system was still strong enough to fight off HIV, I didn't need to go on medications yet. 

In June 2010, while going through a lot of family stress my blood counts started to drop, so much so that I needed to start treatment. Due to financial conditions and some side effects I was unable to continue working. I wondered what I would do with all my time so I got involved at my AIDS Service Organization and did some volunteering and attended workshops. Then it was suggested I get a hobby. I had always liked photography, I had a basic digital camera so it would have to do. When income tax time came around I got a fairly large return so I put it into a bigger and better one. 

I would venture out on hikes as often as I could and I would get some pretty good pictures - well after I deleted the bad shots and tried it again. (The great thing with digital is the delete mode.)  I took pictures of nature, flowers, the old buildings in my town, graffiti - basically anything that caught my eye. I started showing them on my facebook and I got a flickr.com account and posted there. A site called blogguelph.com saw my photos and asked if they could use some of them in their blogs. In time I met a few other photographers and found other places online to post my photos. 

Fast forward to last month, I was commissioned to submit some photos for a company that is updating their website. I loved the challenge of going out and trying to find something that would suit the type of work this company does. This company used some of my pictures before in a report they did for my ASO, so when we met to discuss what they wanted I thought I knew them well enough. Ideas began to come as to what I could do for them. I have learned through facilitator trainings that you have to know your audience so I think I used that in this case and it worked. I can't wait to see their new site and how it looks. 

I was asked to submit a bio as well so they could give me credit for the photos and include a link to my work on the site. Free advertising, methinks. I say this because now I am looking to make this a part-time job, maybe a business. I plan to look into it, whether to go full into a business or just hire myself out as a freelance photographer. 

Trying to compile all the information as to where my photos were shown or used became a new challenge. I ended up with three pages of comments and reviews from friends, family and even some from people I've never met. 

When I was much younger I did many things wrong, and I paid for it, no amount of positive thinking could bail me out of some of the crap I got myself into. I knew there was a way out of it and I learned that the way wasn't always going to be the easy way. The more I looked for the easy way out and took it I found myself in deeper doo doo. I thought negatively most of the time, the world was out to get m., Why me? 

About a year ago I decided to eliminate "anger" from my life, I didn't want to be angry at people or situations anymore. I read somewhere, "you create or you allow all the things that happen in your life", so I decided I would surround myself with positive people, positive situations. Many people are struggling with much harder situations than I am, I feel guilty sometimes that I have so much support and others don't. Something else I read, "I wish someone would do something and I realized I am somebody". 

So I guess I can say that after 50 some odd years, I grew up, I started to see things more positively and now the things that are meant to happen will fall in place with patience..........except that part where I win the lottery. I try to think positively about that too but......... 

At my last check up was about a week ago, my CD4 count made another large jump from 440 up to 610, it hasn't been that high in maybe 4 years. 

A takeaway message would be, negativity is a subtraction, it takes away from who you are, who you can be. 

My flickr.com page.

About the Author

Wayne Bristow - Positive Life

Wayne Bristow - Positive Life

I'm a poz guy, just starting my tenth year living with HIV. I've been blogging here at PositiveLite.com since March 20th, 2011. I volunteer at two AIDS Service Organizations in my area, ACG (AIDS Committee of Guelph/Wellington) and ACCKWA (AIDS Committee of Cambridge Kitchener Waterloo and Area). I've also been blogging for ACG since November 2010. I am a self-taught social media junkie doing facebook and twitter. I'm a great retweeter. I was recently hired by the OHTN (Ontario HIV Treatment Network) as a Peer Research Assistant. In my spare time I am a hobby photographer; some of my photos show up in my blog.

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