Morning Wood

Published 10, Oct, 2012

Danny Miller and the joys – or not – of post-op pleasuring.

Well it’s been a while but I’m back. As most of you may know from past posts I have been fighting some big health issues most of this year. I think I have actually spent more time in the hospital than at home since January. But finally all of that is coming to an end.

At the end of August I had a major surgery that is going to put an end to all that has been causing so many issues and interrupting my life.

For the last 4 years I have been battling major chronic pancreatitis due to two pseudo-cysts on my pancreas. Well the cysts are no more. Actually most of my pancreas is no more.

The original plan was to go in and simply remove the cysts, but in true Danny’s luck fashion the docs were not able to get to the cysts and while they were in there they found that my pancreas was pretty much shot.   A change of plans was needed.

After speaking with the best pancreatic specialists on the east coast, we elected for a partial removal of my pancreas. The surgeons went in and removed most of my pancreas which was just too diseased to even function. They took out all but the head and the bile duct which is when the pancreatic enzymes and insulin is made. While in there they also noticed that my spleen was pretty much shot so they took it out too.

The surgery was tough, 11 hours on the table, and 7 days in the ICU afterwards. I had two drain tubes coming out of my stomach to drain out all the excess fluid that had collected there and the ever -fun catheter. 

After 7 days the doctors pronounced me well enough to go home. I still had one drain tube connected to a collection bag coming out of my stomach.  I was shown how to clean the tube and empty the bag.

All went well for a few days at home till one day getting out of the shower the drain tube literally shot out of my stomach and I was spewing puss and whatever other fluids that was in there like the geyser Old Faithfull. Thus causing a return trip to the hospital and another week’s hospital stay with what seemed like every doctor in Johns Hopkins coming into my room and apologizing to me. It appears that they sent me home far too early, and that the drain tube they had put in was not sufficient enough to handle the fluid it was meant to drain. The fluid was too thick and the tube was too narrow, thus causing a blockage in the tube which caused it to shoot out of me.

“Basically I have two holes in my stomach . . 

So instead of installing a new tube, they made two openings in my stomach to allow the fluid to drain out that way, using a wet to dry gauze packing procedure. Basically I have two holes in my stomach that twice a day I stuff full of gauze soaked in sterile saline, thus allowing the fluid to drain and the wounds to heal from the inside out. It’s not a fun procedure and can be pretty gross with a mixture of watery blood and super fun mucus draining from the holes, but it seems to be working. There is no more infection or blockages so I can’t complain too much. Besides complaining doesn’t do much good anyway; my cat doesn’t seem to care about my whining, all she wants is her bowls filled and treaties twice a day.

Now the really enlightening part about having major abdominal surgery is you never know how many of your stomach muscles you actually use for the simplest tasks till you have them sliced apart and stitched back together.

Rolling over and sitting up after surgery are a real bitch. And heaven forbid you need to sneeze! Sneezing is like having a chainsaw shoved into your gut. But all these things the docs warned me about, but there are some things the doctors don’t tell you about. Let me give you an example…

After coming home from the hospital the second time, and feeling much, much better, I awoke one morning with a situation most guys find themselves in in the morning. Yes I am referring to the every so common male condition known as morning wood. Now I was feeling pretty good, no nausea, little stomach pain but the 8mg dose of dilaudid I had taken was taking care of that issue. So, like most guys, I decided to take the issue into hand.

 I was very cautious to take it easy, go slow, after all the doctors did say not to over exert myself. All seemed to be going well, quite pleasurable as a matter of fact. And soon enough it was getting to that time. That old familiar warm tingling sensation started to fill my midsection as usual. So far so good right?? Well it was time for the party, I could feel the pressure building, and I was all ready for that body quaking release of pleasure. Oh boy was I in for a huge surprise!!

It was the worst orgasm I have ever had in my entire life!!”

Instead of that “oh yea oh yea” that usually comes at this point in the act, what I got was what felt like shards of broken glass mixed with razor blades churning in my stomach. Granted there was a tiny, VERY TINY, “oh yea”, but that was far overpowered by the glass and razorblades.

It was the worst orgasm I have ever had in my entire life!! I lay there in my bed literally covered in my man gravy, and there was a lot of it since this was the first time in over two weeks I had engaged in said act. My body was quaking and shaking alright but not in the good fun way you would expect. I don’t think I have every literally cried in so much pain in my life.

It took my at least 15 minutes before I was able to get up and clean myself up. Two extra pain pills and a half an hour later it was like I was 14 and getting caught by my mother all over again. I swore to myself and the great spirits that I would never masturbate again until they took the pain away.

That was two weeks ago, and although I have healed a lot since then I still have not been brave enough to try it again. The doctors told me that after the surgery it would be about 3 months before I would be back to 100%. I have decided to wait until then to even think about maybe taking matters into my own hands again. For now I will rely on cold showers in the morning, and trying to avoid anything that might perk up my penis.

Otherwise, I am doing well, still have holes in my stomach, but they are healing up nicely. And I’m looking forward to a new life free of pancreatic and digestive issues.

Thank you for reading. XXOO Danny