Let me back up a little bit and start from where I left off.
Yes, Thanksgiving. Brian visited and as you may have guessed we spent the majority of our time hidden away in my apartment and partly clothed. Unfortunately, I realized that our tryst was nothing more than what it was, just that, a tryst. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed his visit and at no point did I want to go send him to the store, quickly pack up my apartment, and move to Afghanistan leaving him in the dust. But the sparks that I remembered or hoped for weren’t there.
A couple weeks after Brian’s visit, I started dating someone else, Bryan. Certainly it made it easier for me to remember his name! Bryan and I started chatting on Scruff a while ago but nothing really came of it. Surprisingly, he texted me out of the blue for a drink. Drinks turned to dinner and dinner turned into a good night kiss.
Here are some facts about the new Bryan. He is my age (which means he gets my references to bad 80s music and to Jem and the Holograms). He has blonde hair and blue eyes (I love those corn fed Midwestern boy looks). He just moved to NYC from Chicago (I wasn’t sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Good thing is that he isn’t a jaded New Yorker yet, but the bad thing is he might not be looking for a real relationship. He could only be looking around for what the city has to offer). He is all tattooed up (HOT!) and lastly, he is also HIV positive (which isn’t a big deal for me, but it does take the agony of “telling him” off the table).
I was starting to prep for a trial about the same time as Bryan and I started dating and with the holidays approaching, it made it difficult to actually start actively dating. But we were both determined to make it work.
I mentioned earlier about things coming in threes, right? Well, along comes another Brian, one who I had met about a year or so ago. He came on way too strong on our first meeting and I had to run far, far away. I bumped into him at a Halloween party and he seemed somewhat different, somewhat less desperate. So what if this lack of desperation was a huge turn on. So what if we kissed a little in the coat check. So what if we made plans to hang out again. It never really happened.
Cut to a Christmas party that was thrown by the same friends that threw the Halloween party. A little birdy told me that Brian (the one from the Halloween party wasn’t going to be there) and since Bryan (the blonde tatted boy) and I were having a hard time finding a time to meet up, I took him as my date. And yes, I am fully aware of the Junior High School quality of this dating scenario.
The party was amazing. Listening to Bryan (the tatted one) talk, I came to realize that he was so much smarter than I initially thought. That is an amazing realization to find when you are first starting to date someone. Much better than the opposite! He engaged my friends while still showering me with his attention and affections. The day after, my good friend Mike commented that he hadn’t remembered seeing me so happy.
And yes, I was happy. I was also very happy that the other Brian (the one from Halloween) didn’t show up. You always need a backup. Unfortunately, his friends were there and I’m sure as soon as word got back that I brought someone to the party, his backup days are over.
I didn’t really care. I was enjoying my time with Bryan. Unlike all the previous boys I have dated, we were taking our time. We gave each other the proverbial kiss good night, but that was it. It was now our fourth date and he wanted to check out Astoria (where I live). I knew that night was THE night. So I feverishly cleaned my apartment and manscaped in anticipation.
Boy was I wrong. I took him to dinner. We took a nice stroll around the neighborhood. Then I brought him back to my apartment and we opened up a bottle of wine. We started to kiss a little but I noticed that I was doing all the work. He was just lying there like a dead fish. After a good four weeks of waiting, I was determined to make this work. My sexual hubris allowed me to think that it wasn’t me, so I mounted him again all the while doing my best seduction moves. Still, I got as much out of him as Jerica got out of Rio (that’s one of those Jem and the Holograms reference)
I wasn’t sure if he was just uninterested, was gassy from our dinner, or maybe he was a eunuch hiding his Barbie doll crotch. In any event, nothing was happening. In one last effort to save the evening, I offered for him to spend the night so he wouldn’t have to wait for the subway back to Manhattan. He politely declined spouting something about getting up early. I don’t remember because I stopped listening after he said no. I decided to cool things off on my end and if he really wanted to see me again, he could contact me.
After a week went by, I decided to write him off completely. It wasn’t just about the sex… or lack there of. It was more the lack of interest in me that I was feeling. I have been in my fair share of one-sided relationships and they never work out.
Right after I made my decision, I ran into my friend Mike again and when I told him what was going on he reminded me how happy I was at the party. Right then and there I went back on my decision and thought about giving him another chance. Besides, I didn’t know what was going on with him. I was too consumed with getting in his pants I never asked him.
Shortly thereafter I got a text from him:
“Do you have a drug connection in the city? I’m looking for coke, T, or X. I wanna go dancing and let my hair down tonight”
Well. That wasn’t the text I was expecting. There wasn’t even a “Hi.” or “How are you?” and he didn’t even have the decency to invite me along (even though I wouldn’t have). I responded:
“No, but you have fun.”
I promptly deleted his contact information and mourned the loss of all three Brians.