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Positively Dating

Positively Dating

S. Anthony better known as Positively Dating is a 35 year old HIV positive single gay man living in New York City. Any one of those would be daunting on their own, but adding them all together makes for quite an interesting dating life. He sends his trials and tribulations out through the web not only to help spark a dialog that we are desperately missing but to help with the stigmas about being HIV positive that are put on us from other people and more importantly the stigmas that we put on ourselves. Also it gives him an outlet to rant about his dating woes.

You can also find him on his own website/blog

Jun26

Can it be fate? [The unattainables, part 2]

Thursday, 26 June 2014 Written by // Positively Dating Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Positively Dating

Fate takes a turn for the better as our Positively Dating almost lands in the lap of an attractive man he previously felt was unattainable

Can it be fate? [The unattainables, part 2]

Fate is a tricky beast. When deciding whether to believe in fate, we tend to think about the good things that have happened.  But to earnestly believe in fate, one must also think of all of the tragic things that have occurred. Was it fated that millions of Africans were going to be ripped from their homes and enslaved; was it fated that 9/11 would happen thus causing global panic; and was it fated that millions of Jews were to be murdered during the Holocaust? This is a major reason why I’m conflicted with the power of fate. This is the story of my most interesting bout with fate. 

About a month and a half ago I downloaded Tinder in the hopes of getting myself out there and dating more. For those of you who don’t know, Tinder is another location-originated app for your phone, much like Grindr. But unlike Grindr, Tinder is geared more towards actual dating, not the obligatory Grindr “date.” 

I know it is just an app, but it is hard dating in NYC and we need all the help we can get! 

The morning after I downloaded the app, I started chatting with this cute boy with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. Yes, I realize I have a type. I asked him how his morning was and he replied “Morning? Where are you?” It turns out the location feature on my Tinder was a bit out of whack and had put me in touch with a guy who lives in England. We didn’t let the Atlantic Ocean stop us and we continued to chat. 

I discovered that he lives in Brighton, which is about an hour south of London on the beach. And apparently he isn’t even English - he’s from Poland. Still, we hit it off famously, and found ourselves chatting throughout the days and nights on Skype and sending videos and pictures (nothing dirty….yet). I remember in one of our early conversations he commented on how he couldn’t believe that I was single. I went on to tell him about how hard it can be dating in a city like New York, and how hard it can be dating in a city like New York while being HIV-positive. His only response to that was, “Is that still an issue there?” That was the first of many times my heart did a little leap for him. 

Being honest, I wasn’t even sure if I liked him because he was unattainable (let’s  face it  he’s  a seven hour and $1,000.00 USD flight away) or if I liked him because of who he truly seems to be. Regardless of that dilemma, we kept chatting.  

Let me back up a bit - when I came back from my two-week trip to England in November, I “liked” all these different British Facebook pages. Sometime in late March VisitBritian, one of the FaceBook pages I like, released a sweepstakes for different pride festivals in England. Now, I’m not a HUGE fan of Pride festivals. Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes attend and even enjoy the festivities but I found in recent years, it seemed like an excuse to party and go crazy and had nothing to do with ‘pride.’ Not to say that I’m not proud to be gay - I’m proud everyday - I just don’t need to dance around half naked to prove that. Long story short, I entered the VisitBritian sweepstakes. Hey, it is a free trip to England!!! And this was way before the Polish boy in England was even on the horizon. 

At the end of May, after a solid month of getting to know this boy across the Atlantic, I got an email from the prize committee saying I won one of the trips to England. WHAT THE FUCK!?! That was my subtle reaction. I quickly printed out all the information that was sent and had my attorney friends review it. I wasn’t going to be caught in some international scheme. I was still a little skeptical when they said it all looked perfectly good. 

Now, there were four different prizes you could win in this particular sweepstakes, all to different pride festivals throughout the UK. There was a trip to Cardiff, a trip to Manchester, a trip to Birmingham, and a trip to Brighton. Just so you know we didn’t get to pick which trip we wanted, they randomly picked the location for you if you won. If you haven’t already guessed, I was picked to attend the pride festivities in Brighton. That is right, I was being sent to specifically where the boy I have been chatting with everyday for the past month lives. 

So back to fate.  Is it fate that Tinder originally fucked up our locations and put us in the same vicinity so we could chat? Is it fate that I won a trip specifically where he lives? I don’t know.  All these events adding up have me believing that it is definitely the universe telling me I need to meet this cute guy with that strange yet sexy mixture of Polish and British accents. 

I am conflicted because if I believe that, I must also believe that all the bad in the world (and Poland) was destined to happen as well. Or…maybe, just maybe, I’m just one lucky bastard who gets to  experience all that England (and Poland) has to offer. 

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