It’s Friday, June 22, 2012 at approximately 4:43pm. It’s been a beautifully warm sunny day with a slight breeze.  A week from today on June 29, 2012 I will celebrate 3 years to the end of my 29 months of homelessness. This time 3 years ago I was praying that my appointment with the Los Angeles Housing Authority would go well. I recall June 22, 2009 as being a sunny warm day and I remember wanting the week to pass rather quickly, so I would know what would be next for me. Would I still be homeless? Or would I have housing?

Today my concerns are totally different. I’ve just finished answering some questions about a picture on my Flickr photo stream so that it can be licensed and sold. Last year I was invited to be a Getty Images Contributor and from time to time my pictures are considered for licensing. On the table in front of me are donated items for the outreach for next week along with a large bag of gently used clothes donated by my two best friends. Yesterday I spoke with a supporter who wanted to arrange a time to drop by donations and another supporter has asked for my address so she could mail some items.

I’ve published two books, have been in 3 art shows, working on my third, making a film about living with HIV, writing for PositiveLite.com magazine and just one day after my 3 year anniversary I’m raising money for Being Alive Los Angeles through an art, music and spoken word event called E.N.U.F. (Empowering New Understanding Forever) I’m not just a part of this show, this show was my idea, my brainstorm, my desire to take what I do to the next level. Or as my friend KoKo once said to me “elevate the conversation”

For about seven months, I’ve made it my  mission to educate my friends Tabitha Nieto and Carlos Nieto III about HIV and AIDS, by sharing my story and the putting them in touch with people who wanted to share their stories, as well as inviting them to HIV forums where they can listen and learn about HIV and AIDS. Together we’ve worked hard to plan this art show paying attention to even the smallest detail.  Making certain that we are each sensitive and educated about the very serious and urgent matter facing our two cultures. Taking every step possible to include and welcome artists who are HIV positive that have never shown their amazing talents and doing our best to embrace their beauty and individuality without guilt, shame or stigma.

For me, someone who lives with HIV, I am not at all surprised at the level of love or humanity my friends have shown. I am not surprised by the amount of compassion and personal stories shared by fellow artists about how HIV and AIDS has touched their own lives in some ways. I was not surprised that finding quality artists to be part of the show was so easy. However I was discouraged, saddened, but not surprised that nearly every HIV service organization we asked replied with a “NO” about being part of the show. We were, however, able to find an organization to provide FREE HIV testing.

Lion is provided by Nicole Pelletiert (www.pelletierart.com)

After 7 months of planning we’ve managed to gather over 40 artists (positive and negative) with 3 DJ’s, LA food trucks, amazing spoken word artists, live bands, body painters, jewelry makers, makeup professionals and FREE HIV testing all standing UNITED to celebrate the lives of people LIVING with HIV or AIDS through art, music and spoken word. As well as educate, empower and raise awareness for HIV and AIDS in respectful environment directly in the neighborhood where it is needed the most. Raising money for an outstanding organization that is unmatched in its quality of life services it provides to people LIVING with HIV, day in and day out without fail.

A lot has changed in my life in the past three years, but my desire to educate people about HIV and AIDS, to raise awareness, empower and advocate for issues facing homeless people and those LIVING with HIV or AIDS remains the same. I will continue to fight the good fight, I will continue to raise my voice in protest and I will continue to be a voice for those who are seen, but not heard. I will continue to stand for what is right for HUMANITY because it is the right thing to do and LOVE will always transcend any community.

Heart is provided by Alexandra Kube (www.alexandrakube.com)

I speak for everyone involved with the E.N.U.F. Art Show when I say “WE STAND UNITED. We are greater than middle passage, greater than illegal immigration, greater than ignorance, greater than any statistic. We are greater than anything in our past and anything in our future. We are the descendants of Kings and Queens. We are the strategy. We are the solution. WE ARE GREATER THAN AIDS”.

FREE HIV Testing van courtesy www.aidshealth.org.

Earlier this month, I was honored to be invited to attend the screening of a film entitled “Even Me”.  I was first told about the film through a friend of mine. She and I share the same doctor and, like me, she is someone who is on the front lines, deep in the trenches in the battle against HIV and AIDS in populations where it is needed most. 

I was so excited that my friend was featured in this film. She’s someone I truly admire and respect as well as someone who fully understands that this battle against HIV and AIDS requires far more than stats and figures. She fully understands that in order to make a lasting change, we must meet people where they are and speak to them in ways they can understand, with love and respect.

I later learned there was a woman I had the honor of speaking with on Capitol Hill for AIDSWatch and even a woman I sat beside during the AIDS treatment education trainings, as well as women I currently sit with on two community advisory boards (CAB).

Film maker Megan Ebor, a graduate student at UCLA did an outstanding and, in my opinion, a job worthy of a Golden Globe and Academy Award in how she carefully and thoughtfully shared the stories of several women and one gentleman over 50 years old LIVING with HIV or AIDS. Her grace, style and great care shined throughout the film. I can see why these amazing individuals shared their souls with her in ways never done before on film.

Even though the film is a documentary, it didn't feel at all like a history lesson, but more of a valuable life lesson from people filled with knowledge and wisdom. It wasn't preachy or void of any substance, but was filled with real life stories from people who live amazing lives and do some pretty amazing things in their own neighborhoods. The film puts a clear face on those over 50 living with HIV and AIDS, but in ways that make you think and consider your own life and the choices you make, without being judgmental or feeling sorry for those in the film.

I had the pleasure of taking two friends with me to the film screening. They too loved it and felt it is a film that everyone should see. Not only that, this is a film that could be used in teaching sex education  and could also very much benefit those in the medical profession who for one reason or another always seem to overlook those over 50 years of age when it comes to things like sexually transmitted diseases. This movie will make you laugh with joy and cry with tears of hurt and pain, but most of all it will educate you in ways that have never been done before.   

After the film I had the chance to speak with my friends who are in the film as well as meet and speak with the film maker. What struck me the most about her was just how easy it was to talk with her. How she was so open to sharing her ideas and process about making the film. She wasn't stuffy or snobbish, but kind and caring. Even though she attends UCLA (my childhood gardener went to that school) she had the feel of a USC Trojan (FIGHT ON!!!) and one of the doctors in the film attended and now teaches under the USC Keck School of Medicine.

On the ride back home my friend Carlos and I began to talk about the film we are currently working on and just how much we both were so very encouraged by the film we just saw. We talked about how very important it is for us to make a film that allows people to share their own stories of living with HIV, while also educating those who are viewing the film.

I remember being told that there was nothing I could do to help those living with HIV. In fact, I was told that my thinking was backwards and that I should just leave it to the professionals. Well, for over 30 years we've been leaving it to the professionals and numbers of HIV infections and AIDS deaths in certain populations have increased.  So it would be in the best interest of all humanity to start considering new ways of preventing, educating as well as treatment, when it comes to HIV and AIDS. Granted there has been major progress in HIV medications, but there is still much work to be done.

Megan, the film maker, the women and one man in this film showed me something I already knew....You don’t need to have a title or position. You don’t need some office where you sit behind a fancy desk with pictures of you shaking hands of fancy people, to make a lasting change in this world. You just need to have the desire to do so. So it is with a huge desire to bring positive and lasting change and continue to press forward, doing all that I can to reach those who are often seen, but not heard.

I'm encouraged by this film, honored to have had the chance to attend the screening, but most importantly I am that much more vigilant in making certain that those without a voice are heard and have their needs addressed. This is a must see film and I pray that it becomes available to everyone.

This film was partially funded through the W.K. Kellogg Foundation and the UCLA Luskin School of Public Affairs. The films screening was generously supported by the UCLA Social Welfare Department and the Graduate Students Association. 

See an excerpt from Even Me here. 

I'm nowhere near the fit athlete I was in high school, college or most of my adult life. In fact the past 15 years I've really packed on lots of pounds.  100% of this has to do with my diet and not being as active as I used to be. 

Even though I'm over weight, my health is great. My cholesterol is normal, no sign of heart disease, diabetes, blood pressure problems or anything. However my doctor said that in order for me to remain in good health and most importantly, keeping my body strong and fit enough to defend itself against HIV without the assistance of HIV medications, it is very important that I start to take measures that will allow my body to continue to take great care of me.

Two months ago I started doing some maintenance on a journey I started with friends called 90 Days of Loving Me. After the 90 days was over a few of us continued the journey calling it 90/365 Loving Me. The basic premise to the entire journey is to take time out for yourself.  Learning to be selfish in a healthy way that benefits you only.  Learning to take time out of each day to love and respect yourself, mind, body and soul.

April 3, 2102 marked 4 years that I've been LIVING with HIV. From the start I made a promise to myself that I would never become a prisoner, nor would I hold my head down in guilt or shame and I certainly was not going to allow society to force me into some HIV closet.

Last month I took the huge step of getting back on my bike.  Even when I was an athlete I hated the gym. I would spend most of my time hiking, biking and running along the beach with few hours stuck inside the gym.  So getting back on my bike was a major deal for me. Not only did I get back on my bike, I started doing this challenge called 30 Days 30 Bike Rides. It started with a simple 4 mile bike ride in my neighborhood. The next day it escalated to a 15 mile bike ride with CicLAvia here in Los Angeles. I was shocked that I could still actually ride that far.

I completed the 30 days and had lost 10 pounds by simply getting on my bike every single day for 30 days. This sparked a more determined effort in me to take better care of myself, which will allow me to be here that much longer doing the work that I do for homeless individuals and those living with HIV or AIDS.

I've been watching my friend Tabitha on her journey to better health and right before my eyes I've seen her shed weight, but more importantly, I've witnessed firsthand how much more happy she is. She's vibrant and glowing and the awesome personality she already had is now even more beautiful and welcoming.

My next step to my routine is eating better, which will be a hard task for me. Not that I don’t know how or that I do not want to, but because I do not have the money to purchase the healthier options. The U.S. Government subsidizes not- healthy foods only, making organic items like fresh fruits, veggies, fish, chicken and turkey much more costly.

I've eliminated getting foods from food banks, even the ones that are pushed by AIDS Service Organizations, because the vegetables are canned and come loaded with all kinds of things that I should not be putting into my body. Most of the food is at or nearing the expiration date, so for someone like me with a compromised immune system these choices simply won’t work.

However with the help of my friends, I've been able to purchase organic foods from Trader Joe's and with the advice and awesome example of my friend Tabitha, I am eating more fruits, veggies, fish and chicken.  Eliminating sweet drinks and sodas which are loaded with sugar.

The results have been awesome. I've noticed my sleeping patterns have gone from restless to restful, my energy level is much higher, my bike rides have gotten longer, even my walks with Dodger are much longer than they were in previous months. The best thing has  been being able to button shirts and not feeling stuffed or uncomfortable in my clothes.

The biggest thing has been the people in my life, ass I started to take more time to take care of me. Making certain that I am not only trying to eat right and spend more time exercising, I've also started to pay close attention to the people around me. As a result of my restoring the temple, mind, body and soul, I noticed several people simply fade out of my life. Some with dramatic exits and others just fading to black. Sometimes the toxic people in our lives are just as detrimental to our health as our eating and exercise habits. Sometimes we need to take the time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of people, places and things in our own spiritual garden that choke or hold us back.

Today I wrote a love letter to myself. I placed a stamp on the envelope and mailed it to me. I also stood in the mirror and apologized to myself and acknowledged the fact that for 43 years my body has taken great care of me, but for about 15 years I've neglected myself, taking my body and my organs for granted. I think we forget that our organs are very much like employees and when they become unhappy they quit on us.

So from this day fourth, I'm striving to be the best employer, taking great care of my “employees” so in turn they will take great care of me and allow me to live another 43 years or even longer as well as live much longer without the assistance of HIV medications or any other medications for that matter.

I will never have the body that I used to have, nor will I be able to sprint or swim as fast as I used to, but I will live a long healthy life, surrounded by well, healthy and emotionally stable friends who love me.

So here's to a long life, filled with amazing friends, plenty of smiles and infinite good health.  

I've been a member of Being Alive since 2008. After being diagnosed with HIV and having a very difficult time accessing services, care and still waiting for an appointment to get case-managed at AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA), someone reading my blog all the way in Australia sent me a message telling me to go to Being Alive. 

As many of you know, I was already over a year into homelessness when I was diagnosed. When I walked through the doors of Being Alive I was very nervous and worried that I'd be judged for being homeless. Topping things off, I had just been in a bloody fist fight the night before for my laptop and digital camera. I was dirty and had not been able to access a shower in over a week. I did my best to clean up in the bathroom at the Hollywood and Highland Center, but even that wasn't much help.

The first person I met was Craig. I told him I was there to see about being a client. He told me to have a seat and he'd get someone to see me. I met with Bart for about 30 minutes before I broke down in tears. I was carrying so much and it just felt safe for me to release a little bit. Bart went to get me a cold towel for my face and we began to talk about things going on in my life. I had a chemotherapy appointment the next day and I had no clue as to where I was going after that. To say that I was very lost and beginning to get very depressed is a huge understatement.

Bart told me about the ceramics studio and right away I started going to the studio. That studio became my safe place and from the very first day of going to Being Alive, Bart, Craig, Kevin and the staff became my blessing in the storm.

Recently John Balma asked me if I would like to attend the Spirit of Hope Awards. I was shocked, because I'm never invited to something as prestigious as The Spirit of Hope Awards, which recognize individuals who have worked in the trenches of HIV and AIDS. All honorees are selected entirely by people living with HIV or AIDS.

The ceremony was held at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood on the Sunset Strip, where comedian Bruce Vilanch served as Master of Ceremonies. The night featured a silent auction, entertainment by Scotch Loring and awards were given to the UCLA AIDS Research Team, Mondo Guerra of Project Runway, (season 8) Academy Award Winner David Weissman for his film “We Were Here” and my personal favorite, the Emmy Award Winning actor, Leslie Jordan who delivered a heartfelt and damn funny speech that drew laughs, cheers and plenty of applause when he told certain members in attendance to “shut the fuck up”

I also had the honor of being introduced to Mr. David Weissman, by John Balma. I was able to share my film project Breaking the Silence  with him and he was very generous with his advice and guidance.

It was time well spent raising money for an organization that for me and many others has been a place of peace, love and safety. An organization that does far more than just say they care or work in the field of HIV and AIDS, but demonstrates their compassion and great care to its members by offering a wide array of quality services FREE of charge that include ceramics, emotional support, wellness center, education, advocacy, prevention and speakers bureau in an environment that supports as well as encourages a better quality of life.

Twenty-nine months of homelessness is now nearly three years behind me, my cancer is in remission, I've spoken on Capitol Hill twice, continue to run my Do Something Saturday and Unplugging HIV outreaches which I started while homeless, published two books  - 29 Months and Occupy LA, facilitate an HIV support group for people of color, currently filming a documentary Breaking the Silence and I now write for PositiveLite.com, Canada’s online HIV Magazine. But most of all I am healthy and I now have an awesome doctor (Dr. Ardis Moe) terrific clinic (North East Valley Clinic) and am currently not required to take any HIV medications. HIV is no longer something that I'm afraid of and because of places like Being Alive I am able to help people LIVING with HIV and educate my friends about HIV and AIDS.

As I said before, Being Alive was a blessing in the storm for me, and from the happenings in my personal life I've learned what my "nia" (purpose) is. I've been able to learn, grown and come out on the other side a more compassionate human being with a huge desire to be of service. To this day they (Being Alive) continue to allow me to grow and evolve with the caring, supportive services they offer day in and day out, without fail, without guilt, without shame, without stigma but with great pride and compassion.

I am proud to be a member of Being Alive, honored to have had the opportunity to attend the Spirit of Hope Awards and humbled that they have allowed me to serve people with HIV through my outreach efforts.

Dante has been LIVING with HIV since July of 2007. He is one of the people featured in my film “Breaking the Silence”. From the first time I met him, I was impressed at just how well he's been dealing with his diagnoses and his desire to continue to live his life and not become someone that allows HIV to completely take over his life. Recently I asked him to do this interview with me for PositiveLite.com, mainly because I knew he'd be completely honest and because he's such an awesome young man.

Kengi: Before we start, let me first say thank you for doing this interview with me. I really appreciate it.

Dante: Thank you for having me. It's a great thing you're doing and I'm glad to be sharing my story through a magazine. Yay I'm excited okay let's get started.

You once described to me your life before being diagnosed as being in the fast lane. What exactly does this mean?

The fast lane to me was just partying, drinking, having wild and spontanteous sex. I would work in the day and party at night. If I was too tired from partying or the sex was that good I would call work the next day and say I can't come in because my back hurts. Me and a few other friends would get online, meet guys, set up our own sex parties and just have a ball. That's what the fast lane was for me,  hot guys, sex, partying and alcohol to let good times keep on coming.

So is it safe to say that you were just living in the moment?

Yes I was living in the moment. There were no boundaries that I wouldn't cross. Like you heard this saying, "I was young, dumb, and full of cum".

There are those who say that younger people just aren't paying attention to the message about HIV and AIDS. Did you hear any messages about HIV or AIDS in your neighborhood prior to becoming HIV positive?

I didn't see any billboards like I do now where they're in your face and you have to look at it and talk about it. On television, yes I may have saw a message but my mind wasn't thinking about HIV.

 Ultimately, why did you decide to get tested?

I decided to get tested cause I was in a relationship at the time and things started to progress where condoms weren't being used. So to be on the safe side I wanted to know my status and have a clear head space. I didn't have any symptoms prior to getting tested I just wanted to know my status.

Were you worried you may have caused your boyfriend to be HIV positive?

Yes I was worried. I was scared I never been through something like this, so I didn't know how things were going to play out. 

So you're sitting waiting for your test results. What was going through your mind while you waited?

I didn't know what to feel. Part of me felt like this can go either way. In the past I was playing Russian Roulette. So now I see the game caught up to me. 

About a year prior to testing positive, you told your parents you were gay. Was there ever a concern that your parents would throw you out or no longer love you?

No, not loving me or throwing me out was never an option cause my parents love me from the day I was born to the day I came out. I'm their child and only son, so disowning me? No, not my parents. They love me to much to do that.  I'm grateful to have my parents who love and adore me cause not everyone gets the opportunity to feel that. 

Did you feel like you had let them down by not being careful?

Yes, I felt I let them down, but myself as well. How could I be so blind by lust to not take the precautions and protect myself every time I had an encounter. But like I said when you play Russian Roulette you're gambling everything for that good time. 

Contrary to what we hear and read about when it comes to Blacks and Latino families as it pertains to HIV and AIDS, Your family has been very supportive. Even going with you to medical appointments.

Yes, once my mother found my doctor's slip, she put two and two together and grilled me. I fest up, told her the truth and then talked to my dad to assure them that I was going to live. I told them not to come, actually and they said no, we're coming with you to the doctor. "We love you too much to lose you to this." So from that moment on I knew my parents were right by my side. 

How is life different now that you're HIV positive?

Life is good, real good. My health is 110 percent. I do what I'm suppose to and I look at life in a whole new light. There is life after this and I tell people that all the time because when you going through it it's hard to understand.

Do you ever have feelings of not being able to fall in love because of the HIV?

I did at first, but now I'm in a good place and I stay knowledge up on medical updates and when I disclose my status I can say it proud 'cause I have come so far in this and when I hear the guys' reaction to it, it brings joy to my heart that they still see a person who needs love too. 

Do you feel you can only date people with HIV?

I feel I can date anyone who is open to it (HIV) and willing to get educated on it (HIV). if they don't know much about it, whether you're positive or negative ask me questions cause when you know more, you connect more and yes, Kengi, quote me on that. (laughter)

Recently I had the honor of hearing you read something you wrote at a public reading called "Love the way you lie" What was the inspiration behind that?

I was in a dark place at the time and I needed to express myself in the way I know best  - which is writing. Once I put that pen to paper I surrendered to what I was feeling. And I'm proud that you and all in the audience loved it, but it was this one person who pulled me to the side and said “you touched me. I'm going through that right now and thank you for letting me know I'm not alone and that hope is still alive.” 

You've been involved with two of my projects, the film "Breaking the Silence" and my HIV support group, JustUs. What have these experiences been like?

Being part of the film project has just opened my eyes up to the fact that my story matters and it has value to someone out there who needs to hear it. For the group JustUs, it's refreshing cause we all come from different walks of life and we share our stories without any judgment and to feel safe to open up is pretty special to me. 

You're also a writer with aspirations of writing a book or two. How is that coming along?

Its coming along great. I'm in the process of finding an editor that can edit my work and build a close bond 'cause this person is going to be my right-hand man. So the first book is about relationships and the second book is between a collection of short stories or my tips on the do's and don't of styling and designing yourself inside and out. 

My friend Carlos asked if he could paint you. What did that feel like?

It was such a surprise that he wanted to paint me and use it for a show I was like wow, really, me? It's such an honor to have someone paint you and display it where people can see, I'm still in shock. Plus he only does woman and this time he decided to paint a man and the man happens to me. June is around the corner and I can't wait to see me live and in color. 

So what's next for you?

Working on my baby.... the book, and I want to travel more this year and going into next year. I have a passport and I need some more stamps. So next time you hear from me maybe from a postcard. So watch  out cause good things do happen when you push it to the limit. 

Dante, again, thank you very much for taking the time to do this. From the time I was introduced to you, I knew you were pretty exceptional and were destined to do great things. I pray nothing but the best for you.

It was my pleasure Kengi thank you for having me on the couch. We made magic today.

When it is all said and done, we are either LIVING with HIV or dying with HIV, but at the end of the day YOU and ONLY YOU can make the choice to LIVE with HIV. Dante has clearly made the choice to LIVE with HIV and because of this, outside forces like guilt, shame, fear and stigma have no place in his life.

It's 5:15am on Tuesday April 3, 2012. I'm sitting on the floor in my apartment with the blinds slightly open. Tears are falling from my eyes, but no sound is coming out. My friend Christina is here visiting from Atlanta and I don't want to wake her, nor do I want her to be worried about me, because the tears that fall are not from sadness, but from being so grateful.

Very quiet, very still and very peaceful outside. There seems to be a calmness about it all. I'm thinking about April 3, 2008, the night I was diagnosed. After making it from the emergency room to the floor where I would be for the next 11 days, I was left holding onto a window sill. The bed was too far for me to reach. Looking out that window all I could see was the light on the walkway down below and the rain falling.

 My life is much different now; in fact everything in my life is much different.

Today marks four years since I was diagnosed with HIV. As the tears falls down my face, they are not tears of sadness, but from being so grateful., The first year was a complete nightmare that I honestly thought I would not survive. I changed doctors 5 times and clinics 4 times and I was homeless. I was starting to believe the lies being fed to me. Starting to believe that Skid Row was my only choice and that I was a “fuck up” and my thinking was “backwards”. Starting to believe that I was a complete failure.

However, in my darkest hour - what believers call the midnight hour - God turned it all around. For the past 3 years I've had an amazing doctor who has demonstrated time and time again that she cares about me as a person, that she takes my overall health and well being very seriously.  Not only am I in great health, I no longer worry about HIV, nor do I cry about it. I'm more than just some patient ID number, some random patient who she does not know or care about. Just sitting here looking at the window of my apartment is a direct result of being under her care and for this I am so grateful.

My clinic is awesome. I do not feel like a number, or some person that equals federal, state or local dollars. They know my name, they know about the work I do and have supported it several times. They take great care of me from the crown of my head to the bottom of my feet. From dental care to any health need that come up, my clinic is there to help me when I can't figure it out on my own. For this I am so grateful.

My inner circle of friends are people whom I trust with my life, people I know won’t walk away when things get rough, people I know I can call on no matter how late the hour. People who truly get the fact that even though I have housing, things are still very hard for me each month. Ma use to tell me to get some confidants in my life.  She said those are the people who stand with you in good times and bad and will not leave me. She told me I would be a blessed man if I had one or two. I guess I am abundantly blessed because with Andy, Tina, Eric, Willow, Carlos, Christina and Darlyna I know that whatever comes my way, no matter how hard or easy things may get, these people will stand with me no matter what, without fail, without question, without guilt or shame and for this I am so grateful.

I've also been blessed to have some HIV wisdom that I can call on, the type I can’t get from my doctor or clinic, but from people who have LIVED with HIV and are doing awesome. Brian, Dante, Tony, and Travis. I like to call these men my brothers from other mothers. Strong Black men I can call on to ask question, if and when I start HIV treatment or when I experience things I've never had with HIV. For this I am so grateful.

Looking out this window I can celebrate. Everything I was told I could not do, each time I was told I could not help anyone,  I've done just what they said could not be done and accomplished what they doubted. As a kid I never understood what the meaning was when I heard older people say "what God has for you is yours and no one can stand in the way of it, or prevent it from happening." At 43 years old I fully understand the meaning, but more than that I fully understand what it is to say that God is my provider, my strong tower, my way maker, my wheel in the middle of the wheel. I know what it means to say "if God be for me, who can be against me."

I have a doctor’s appointment this morning and I'm not the least bit concerned about it. I know that I am fine and even if I have to start HIV meds, I will still be just fine. I'm also speaking this evening at Loyola Marymount University with my long time friend (since 7th grade) Michelle Simek who is a bi-lingual HIV treatment educator.

Dodger has just moved from the sofa to sitting right beside me with his head on my legs. My friend Christina just asked if everything was alright. I looked over at her and smiled saying “just fine. Everything is just fine.”

As the sky begins to lighten, I am reminded of just how blessed I truly am. I have a great set of friends, my health is awesome and my small grass roots effort to reach out and help homeless people and those living with HIV grows each year. Yesterday when I opened my mailbox I had a letter from an HIV housing organization in Santa Monica. They want me to come in and start my paperwork. Santa Monica is where I was born and raised. It's been my family’s home for over 80 years and this is where I started Do Something Saturday as well as Project Kengikat, so it would seem that with this sunrise my life is coming full circle and for this I am eternally grateful.

I have HIV and this too shall pass.