Since Sex was such a popular column, I thought perhaps drugs may be appealing too. 

There was a time in my life when I had to recognize that food was not enough for me.  I’m not the best cook, nutritionist or dietitian in the world, or probably even on my block, but I would like to say I that I have some basic idea of how to get food into me.  But never enough of the right stuff, it seems.  And when that included juggling medications and two hours before or one hour after and with food or only with water became a real hassle, I thought, perhaps more drugs might be the answer.  And thus an interest in supplements began.  Though just a neophyte, I started looking into them and explored what worked and didn’t for me. 

My dealer is a black muscle man named Ty at the health nutrition store.  He’s much nicer and friendlier than previous dealers from days gone by.  With help from naturopaths, colleagues, weight training friends (I love you Chris!) and others in the fitness industry, I found some additional assistance that not only benefits me and the lifestyle I live, but what I hope can benefit you the reader, and other Poz friends (and non-Poz friends) in having a better life too.  

Supplements, to me, are much more reminiscent of the spell enhancements my Lvl 50 Half-Elf Paladin would get before the heat of battle on one of my old video game systems.  They are a means to stay in better shape, and access vitamins and minerals in higher doses that I can get from the regular foods I eat.  With eating, daily morning yoga practice, working out, and the physical exertion on my body through teaching yoga, and many of those in a heated room, the addition of extra bio-chemical assistance is greatly welcomed. 

Since a friend of mine called me the King of Supplements, (I think I’m more of a duke), here are my favourite supplements and the reasons why I take them.  I tried to rank them in order of my personal importance.  My reasoning in the ranking was overall general health and the supplement’s ability to tackle its specific function and role that it plays in my overall health goals.  I also tried to factor in how I think it can benefit you, the reader.  The list may be different for you ,so please adapt.  

Also please note that before taking anything new into your body, check with your doctor. OK, hang on!  Many of us don’t do that.  So at the very least, check with your pharmacist.  They can let you know if any of the supplements you may consider taking affect or interact with your medications and/or allergies.  Everything that I take I have checked with my own pharmacist.  I am also not a healthcare professional.  I’m just a crazy yogi who loves his health drugs and acid!  I take about 20 and narrowing it down to 10 was too hard to do.  So here are my top 15 favourites! 

15.  CLA (Conjugated Linoleic Acid)

Reason it’s on list – fat loss – specifically belly fat

It comes in a large liquid pill form and it’s a fatty acid that helps burn fat.  It assists in losing weight whether you are working out or not.  It’s this little bit of bonus that helped it make the list.  The dark side is if you are really overweight, this may have the potential to cause diabetes. 

Reason for rank - other weight-reducing supplements on the list that I believe perform better. 

 14. Greens+

Reason it’s on list – Overall health and well-being

Greens+ is one of my newer supplements but they have been around for a couple decades (more info found here). They claim to help a broadband of conditions.  I use the Greens+ Original Powder.  I started one teaspoon a day in one of my shake or drink concoctions for the first week then upped it to two.  My body disliked three teaspoons a day and so I have kept it at two. 

Reason for rank - Since I have only been using it for a few months I don’t have enough experience with it to see if it’s been helpful enough.  Also, in the ingredients list there is Green Tea extract and I am leery of any additional caffeine into my system. 

13.  Fiber

Reason it’s on list – Digestive Health

Years of poor eating and chemotherapy (yes, our HIV pills are a form of chemotherapy) have brought me to this point.  It helps re-align digestive distress whether it goes to either extreme.  I personally find a teaspoon of fiber added to a protein shake handy once a day.  You may want to start with only half a teaspoon if you are unfamiliar with fiber powders.  They don’t always blend well in water so a juice may be more efficient if you don’t protein shake.  I find it works better taken during the day or early afternoon.  The kind I use has high amounts of Psyllium and flax seed.

Reason for rank – Belly-bloated feeling sometimes.  Out of all the supplements I take, I seem to forget this one quite often.   But some of you may be in more stellar digestive health than I, which makes this a moot point. 

12. Probiotic – Acidophilus & Bifidus

Reason it’s on list – Digestive Health

These days there are so many ways to access this than in years previously.  Yogurt is a simple way.  For a few years I drank Bio K+ as these tiny shots but they tasted awful and were hugely expensive.  Now I have gone pill form.  They are hugely potent - way more than you’d get from a yogurt, contrary to popular belief.  My suggestion would be to ask your pharmacist or health care professional for a quality brand of these you can buy.  I keep mine refrigerated to keep the probiotic at its strongest. I take either one or two pills a day.  If I am taking two, I split them up at different times.

Reason for rank – Similar to the fiber, I seem to forget this one the most.  It’s kept in the fridge away from the other drugs and supplements and since it doesn’t fit into the crazy pill caddy container I have, I have to remember on my own which is challenging when you’re juggling about 40-50 pills a day. 

11.  Fish Oil and/or Flax Oil

Reason it’s on list – Health and Well Being

Fish Oils contains Omega 3 Fatty Acids which are critical for optimum health.  They help in many areas with heart health and cholesterol.  I take mine in pill form.  Four pills broken out in three doses (1 am, 2 midday, 1 evening)  Since many of my medications call for food, this isn’t a problem for me to take them together.  Flax Seed oil essentially does the same thing.  I am still unsure why I take both but there ya go!  This is easier to access as you can buy it at the grocery store.  It would be in a refrigerated section sometimes near the organic foods or speciality foods, and sometimes near cheeses.  I take 1-2 tsps a day in a protein shake.  It needs to be kept in the fridge and has an expiry date.

Reason for rank – Fish Oils can be a bit pricy and you go through so many.  Also for the first month or so, you may have a fishy aftertaste (there’s a reason they come in Lemon and lime flavours!).  Flax seed Oil is a little less expensive, but since it must be cold and can’t be used in cooking, and doesn’t like to be blended, you have to mix it into whatever you’re drinking manually.  It’s kinda like having a nice refreshing beverage covered in grease. 

10. Electrolytes

Reason it’s on list – Hydration and Balance

I sweat a lot every day.  To replace those minerals quickly,  I found it best to add that to water.  Even if you aren’t moving around too much but drinking the night away guess what?  That morning after hangover is the body cringing from dehydration and an electrolyte imbalance.  So even if you don’t workout or move – it’s got a great use!  Gatorade is an alternative that seems to be popular and accessible.  It doesn’t have the necessary ones in a high enough dose.  Most hot yogis would cringe though if you drank one in class.  There are many types out there. The most popular are Emergen-C, Ultima, which is “sweetened” with Stevia, and my personal favourite, Vega Sport Electrolyte Hydrator.  Vega is a newer company that uses only natural plant-based components (More about Vega can be found here: http://myvega.com/) 

Reason for rank – The product is great, wonderful and helpful if one is active, moving and sweating a lot.  If you aren’t sweating so much, may not be as useful.  Suggestion: Sweat more! ;-) 

9.  Taurine

Reason it’s on the list – Energy

Yup!  More acid!  Taurine (2-Aminoethylsufonic Acid) is an amino acid that is found within the body.  It is one of the first ingredients listed in popular energy drinks (I love you, Sugar-Free Rockstar!) Taurine has been known to be used by the body during exercise and in times of stress.  I buy mine as a powder and add ¾ of a tsp to a protein shake.  There has been huge debate on its benefits, so over a year ago I tested it out.  At the time I drank little to no caffeine each day so it would be a good way to see if I felt a rush from it being there or not.  I would have to say that there was a shift in energy and endurance when using it about 30min before activity.  Not the same as from a caffeinated drink but enough that it was noticeable. And in times when you’re tired and you need that little bit extra, it was nice to have.  It mixes half-decently in a glass of water too.

Reason for rank – It’s controversial.  Many people go one way or the other with it.  My advice is to research for yourself and make a choice that works for you where you are today. 

8.  DAA – D-Aspartic Acid

Reason it’s on the list – Testosterone Enhancer

Yup. It’s another acid! This one is a natural boost to one’s own system.  It’s replaced Tribullus as the popular booster.  Do I need me to actually spell out how extra testosterone can be handy? J  I take this as a cycle so as not to lose its effect.  During that cycle I try to get to the gym more than normal and really demo more chatturangas in class.  Now some of my students may know why I can dolphin plank for so long!

Reason for rank – Not everyone may want to boost their testosterone for everyday life.  Hence it’s right in the middle of the list! 

7.  B12

Reason it’s on list – Energy & Feel Goodiness

Oh yes.  You want to feel happy?  Have more life and energy?  A spring in your step?  This may help.  Having low levels of B12 can make one feel depressed, fatigued and forgetful.  That and there are so many things in our life that deplete it within our bodies so it’s a great enhancement and  there’s little effect to taking too much of it.  It doesn’t do well as a swallowed pill form so save your money and don’t buy pills.  It does work well as sublingual (under the tongue).  My preference, however, is by injection.  It has the best rate of absorption and you don’t have to sit there with something in your mouth you can’t swallow... not that I have a problem with that sort of thing.  I would suggest having a family doctor or medical profession administer it. You can buy them at the drug store from a pharmacist and have your doctor’s offices hold it for you for your visits.  If you wanted to do it yourself, then you would need to purchase Intramuscular needles as well. All other form of needles wouldn’t get it deep enough into the muscular tissue and it would only bubble up on the surface and not absorb enough.  There are several YouTube videos on how to do the rest of the work if you are interested.

Reason for rank - Since this may involve a little more planning it isn’t always user-friendly.  It is however worth it. 

6.  Protein Powder

Reason it’s on list – Diet and Nutrition

It takes an incredible amount of protein to sustain an average human body that does an ordinary amount of activity.  For an active life and working out, even for regular day-to-day life, it’s tough to get all that protein in.  I have found shakes to be a godsend.  You can get larger doses of required building block with less effort.  Even if you aren’t working out just think.  If you are skipping breakfast often, just add a quick shake each morning before you leave for work and see what happens.  The result speaks for itself and isn’t a lot of effort.  They come in so many kinds now – including vegan (See Vega link above).  Since you’re mixing the protein shake already, perhaps throw in a few of the other “ingredients” on this list while you’re at it.  Get them all done in one shot!

Reason for rank – They save less time cooking and take up much less time to breakdown and digest.  Buying high quantities of powders all the time can be costly. 

5. Raspberry Ketones

Reason it’s on list – Fat loss

Raspberry Ketones are the next big thing in weight-loss this year since they were mentioned on the Dr. Oz show. They can explain it better than I.  The prices have gone up since the rise in popularity  and are $15-25 a bottle.

Reason for rank – Although it will help you lose weight, that may not be something you wish to do. 

4. ZMA

Reason it’s on list – Strength and Men’s Health

ZMA is a combination of Zinc, Magnesium and Vitamin B6.  They help enhance muscle strength and endurance.  Zinc and Magnesium play a major role in sperm production and libido.  Do I need to say more?  I take mine about 30min before bed.  It’s best not to take with milk as that block zinc absorption.

Reason for rank – It’s awesome.  Take it for 2 weeks and let me know how it goes.  Better yet, let someone you enjoy the company of know how it goes. 

3.  Multi-vitamin

Reason it’s on list – Overall Health and Well-being

Doctors have been saying it for years.  There are just some things in our regular diet, that for whatever reason, we don’t get enough of.  Instead find a good multi-vitamin to help compensate.  For many it may turn your urine an ever-so-lovely shade of neon yellow.  However, it is my experience that when you are more deficient in your diet, or have been working out and sweating more than normal, the body uses those extra vitamins and minerals and urine colour remains normal.  It all depends.  I would suggest one with some great multi-minerals such as Magnesium, Zinc, Copper, Manganese, Chromium and Selenium.  Reason for rank – Ask almost any doctor: this would be the one Supplement we all must have. 

2.  Glutamine

Reason it's on list – Digestive Health, Muscle Growth and Weight Loss.

I love Glutamine.  It is, again, another acid.  I originally started taking it as a naturopathic prescription for enhancing digestive health and strength.  Glutamine is used throughout the body to help repair tissue and many athletes and weightlifters use it to enhance strength.  It’s an anti-catabolic agent, in that it has a way of protecting the muscles from being used as fuel for the body.  And along with its ability to enhance stomach lining, it also enhances muscle cell volume.  It also helps the body heal, repair and recover from surgeries, injuries and illnesses.  Yes.  Illnesses.  I would suggest buying it in powder form and starting with 1tsp a day in a glass of water or protein shake (or after a workout).  It sort of has a salty taste to it.  The dosage can go higher to two or three tsps a day, but to be perfectly honest, I take about four to six tsps a day.

Reason for rank – In one natural acid you have the ability to add to your body something that aids it in all levels.  If you want to enhance your muscle growth, slim down and get a stronger gut and heal faster, take some. 

1.   Water

Reason it’s on list – General health and well-being, mood, fat loss, diet and nutrition, energy,

Yes.  You probably wouldn’t have guessed it.  Water.  H2O.  It is, in a way, a supplement.  In western culture it is not always our number one choice in a beverage and thus not really part of our diet.  And I’m not taking about juice, or cola, or flavoured water – just pure filtered water.  When lacking it our mood, behaviour and balance can be thrown out of whack.  We cannot live without it and yet many of us don’t get enough of it.  I drink about 3L of water a day.  More than most.  My suggestion on getting more of it into your system is perhaps filling a jug or a large canteen, metal bottle, or recycled bottle with water at the start of the day (of the evening before and chill in the fridge) and take it with you as you go and make it a goal to drink the entire container before the end of the day.  If you have it on you and it becomes a part of your habits, it becomes easier to remember to drink it. 

Reason for rank - Our bodies are about 70-85% made of it.  Do yourself a favour and replenish your supply.  Have a drink of water right now! 

Jai!

It’s kind of funny as many of my main column titles have always been chosen for their ability to titillate and give a double meaning to some Sanskrit word or phrase I am going to use but this one spells it out quite simply

Sex is not something I have ever wanted to write about.  It’s something that I have found works better more as a doing thing than a talking thing (but sometimes a talking while you’re doing thing can be fun).  Lately it seems it be hanging in the air more often than not.   With the increase of social media devices and connections we have more men at our fingertips, and in some cases, literally in the palms of our hands.  Be they coming from friends or co-workers trying to fix you up with this guy they know, or men in the gym, on the bus, the line-up at your grocery store, the guy who sells you your falafel sandwiches – it’s out there and it wants to get in your lap. 

If one really wants it bad enough, there is ample - AMPLE - opportunity to have sex on a weekly, daily, or even hourly basis if one tries hard enough.  It’s almost like you can radiate it out like you’re a lit up beacon sending out sex signals in multiple directions.  But is that really a good thing? 

Not sure if anyone has had the chance, but a movie came out recently that captures the “dark side” of sex to an extreme. Shame. It is a powerful, almost disturbing view into the life and mind of a sex addict and how he lives his life and gets his “fix”.  He has invested so much of his energy, his essence, into this pursuit and, without spoiling the movie; you can see how this turns out for him yourself.  Perhaps then, there is a way to refine and hone this in more precisely? 

The fourth yama mentioned in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is Brahmacharya which can be loosely translated to mean sexual restraint.  And no, they do not refer to being tied to a St. Andrew’s cross.  Although this can be viewed in many beliefs to mean sexual abstinence (and is practiced by several yogis and religious beliefs as such), I like to think of it as sexual refinement – instead of exploding sexual energy in all directions at all times, that it can be refined down, drawn together, and channeled – like a laser beam.  Brahmacharya can be even interpreted as simply a moderation in all our actions. 

There is an irresistibility that comes from sex, joy, thrill, whatever “it” is or you want to call it.  This energy can be used incorrectly in the wrong hands.  It’s sort of like yellow cake uranium that way.  It can power a city or blow up the region, depending on how it’s used.  My personal belief on this power comes from a saying Spider-man’s Uncle Ben would tell him “With great power, comes great responsibility”, and sex is a lot like that.

This is not even about the whole HIV thing I’m talking about.  Simply the sexual energy that transfers between one individual and another may not ever be in the sexual arena of conquest.  It is so much fun to flirt with people that may not lead anywhere, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that the other person may actually feel like this is something more than a flirting thing.  They may see a possible future in something that doesn’t exist... can you see how this could possibly Chernobyl someone?  Perhaps you are asking why that would be even important.  This again comes from the First Yama – Ahimsa – which means non-harming (more on Ahimsa can be found here and that all other concepts of yoga and the practice are founded upon.  It is the bedrock of all that come after it – and this is an area where some refinement may be required. 

I hope that anyone reading doesn’t believe that I am choosing or suggesting one lifestyle choice as being better than any other. It’s like my favourite frozen yogurt place, Menchies: I personally hope that all who want to have sex do so freely in whatever flavour(s) or texture(s) they enjoy it in, with as many toppings and sauces they love. Sometimes even with a cherry on top!

When it comes to firing off your sexual energy bullets, in whatever direction, aim, fire wisely, and watch out for stray bullets! 

Jai!

So recently I was interviewed by Socially Fit.  They were looking for inspirational stories and interviewed me with some questions.  We had it re-printed on positivelite.com here.  What was awesome was that in it I put out to the universe world that if there was any way that I could give back to HIV community or world at large, to contact and let me know.  Somehow that phrase opened the door.

Very soon after that I was contacted by some individuals in Toronto who were in the process of looking at using yoga as a way to give back to the greater community at large. Their first event they wanted to do would be near to Toronto’s Pride and they just happened to be The AIDS Committee of Toronto.  What’s that you say?  A place where yoga and HIV have overlap?  I couldn’t believe it.  Within 24hrs I was connected in. 

It’s funny how quickly things can happen when one is open to the world of change.  Sometimes I think of it as a Universal Google Maps of assistance and need.  Like there is some cosmic switchboard that when you raise your hand or open your heart and say “Yes I am ready and available to be of service in any way I’m able” you are lit up on this map.  And when “the call” comes in for a need nearby, you are somehow brought together.  You can call it what you like.  Destiny. Fate. The blind forces of chance. Divine Intervention. When the doors of the meta-physical are opened for business, it’s amazing what may come a-knocking. 

This has led me into the presence of Yoga Unite. Their premiere event is being held Sunday July 8^th from 3-5pm at the Extension Room and it will be a fun fusion of yoga, dance, pilates, movement work for people at all levels of fitness. I had a chance to speak with Chantal Wade, the founder of Yoga Unite and ask her a few questions. 

Daniel: What is Yoga Unite?

Chantal: Yoga Unite is an event-based yoga initiative that aims to raise awareness and funds for local organizations that provide services to the diverse communities across the GTA [Greater Toronto Area]. Basically, there is a real need to better our own community. Yoga Unite is the only yoga initiative that focuses solely on our local community, aiming to raise awareness to important issues that have a lot of social stigma associated with them. Yoga Unite is founded on the principle of Karma Yoga, the act of self-service and selfless action. So we try to get the community to partake in Karma yoga through our yoga-inspired events.                                    

How did this all come about?

To be honest, it all fell into my lap. Someone else had started planning a fundraiser and I was asked to take a lead in the project. It shortly fell apart, and I took a good two weeks to build up the confidence in myself to trust that I could do this on my own. So, I established a name for the initiative and really took the time to think about what I wanted Yoga Unite to be about.  I am a social worker (MSW, RSW) and a yoga teacher, and really wanted to find a way to combine my two passions -Yoga Unite feels like it's the path I was meant to take. There are so many important issues in our local community to raise awareness of, so I knew that this would create lots of opportunity for many great events. 

What made you decide on the AIDS Committee of Toronto as the first event?

I cannot take credit for deciding on the AIDS Committee of Toronto for the first event. When I came to join the initial project, then called YogaloveYYZ, it was already established that ACT would be the recipient. But this was what drew me to the project, because I wanted to get involved to raise awareness to those affected and infected with HIV/AIDS. Sadly, there is still a lot of social stigma associated with HIV and AIDS, and there needs to be more knowledge and compassion in our community. 

So this social stigma that you see associated with HIV/AIDS, what are some ways that you believe, we can do to help change that?

That is a very good question. I think we live in a society where 'ignorance is bliss'. For those who are not affected or infected with HIV/AIDS, there is an unspoken belief that we will never have to come into contact with HIV AIDS.  But that is not the case for the majority. Despite all the research and efforts to educate the world about this issue, the majority are still afraid of it. For this reason, so many infected with HIV/AIDS live in the closet, in fear of the response they will get from society if they "come out". As with any issue where there is social stigma, I strongly feel that awareness is the key. I hope that those who are affected with HIV/AIDS can feel comfortable opening up about their experiences and that those who have no knowledge of, or experience with, HIV/AIDS can be willing to listen, opening their minds and their hearts. Just my two cents...

That’s really amazing.  So how can people get involved?

Anyone interested in taking part in the event can register by emailing This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . I will send them a fundraising form and they can choose to donate or fundraise a minimum donation of $25. On the day of the event, they simply bring their fundraising form and their money and come to practice and have fun for a great cause. To find out more about the event, people can visit www.yogaunite.ca  and www.facebook.com/yogaunitetoronto. This project really has a lot of heart... means so much to me. I have been so blessed and humbled to work with so many amazing people on this first project. I hope people from the community will come out to support us and ACT. 

Thanks so much for taking time to sit with us! 

It’s amazing and I am really honoured to be connected with this event.  If you are in the Toronto area and would like to come down and join in this event, please do so.  If you do make it down, please come and say Hi afterwards as I would be delighted to meet you. 

Metta

Toronto skyline from the view of my powerboat in the Toronto Harbour.

Toronto.  I love my city.  I’m not just one of those people who came here and found this wonderful place.  I was born here.  When I want to get away from work and not travel too far, where else would I go but out into my beloved home?

There’s a reason I chose the name "Urban Yogi" originally when I started writing for PositiveLite.com – and it’s not just because the acronym of these two words makes my last name!  I’m a city boy through and through.  Toronto itself isn’t a large giant looming city, but a collection of small tiny villages that have meshed together in this large mosaic of fabulousness.  So here I am almost a week into  my vacation and loving every moment.  Here are my top 10 favourite things to do while on a stay-cay in my Tronno! 

10 - Zipcar joyride out to Richmond Hill

I love to drive and it’s a great trip up through the city on a beautiful sunny day.  Had a Mini-Cooper as well and that’s always a fun ride.  I did not Italian Job it this time though. 

9 - Skin pigment meditations in Greektown

That’s a fancy name for something I enjoy doing a few times a week.  But now I really get to indulge as I’m out everyday it’s hard to tell where the colour may be coming from. 

8 – Eating Out

How can it be any vacation without a bit of out of the home cuisine.  It’s not always the fine dining, but just the wonderful comfort food of something familiar (like my favourite burger joint Square Boy) or any of my favourite sushi locations in the Annex.  There’s so many to choose from! 

7 – Taking Care of Medical Business

Having all this freetime during the day allowed me to visit some old and new places.  I went to see my Naturopath who I love and had some acupuncture done.  I also had the time to go out and get myself a new family doctor and a new dentist which are both a block walking distance from my home.  So awesome that I can leave 5 minutes before an appointment and actually get there on time.  My new family doctor and I were cracking jokes together and my new dental team were truly amazing.  So glad I took care of all this stuff. 

6 - Massage near St. Lawrence Market

I had to include this separately.  One of my favourite things to do each week is visit my RMT Caitlin who has been treating me for almost 2 years now.  She’s funny, and kind, and mean, and calls me Muffin – and I love her.  She treats my repetitive strain chaturanga dandasana muscles each week.  If it wasn’t for her, I probably would have no neck.  Seriously.  Just a head on shoulders.  I will be writing about her more in the future so stay tuned! 

5 - Electric bike rentals in Kensington Market

I have always wondered what it would be like to ride one of those scooter thingies and now I know.  We rented bikes and drove from Kensington Market south to the Lake and followed it all the way through the Portlands and the Beaches.  We even found uber cheap BBQ along the way. 

4 - Powerboat rental in Harbourfront

I love renting things.  Why should that be restricted to land?  We rented a powerboat and sailed the Toronto Harbour and in and around Toronto Island.  If you are looking to try this out, first I would suggest getting your boating licence which can be done on-line at www.boatsmartexam.com.  It’s well worth it as you can have the licence for life.  I’m sure, though, if you have a regular driver’s licence that would work just as well for many rental places.  

3 - Daily Mysore practice at Ashtanga Yoga Centre Toronto

I cannot mention vacation or anything really without bringing up my favourite pastime and activity – yoga.  I love my teacher David Robson and all the staff at AYCT and although I have mixed feelings about my practice most days, I am so grateful for the opportunity to move and do what I get to do each day.  More about this practice can be found in my story here.  More information about AYCT can be found here: www.ashtangatoronto.com. 

2 – Family

“Congratulations, you’re a granduncle!”  I trekked out to visit my newest family member out in asiancourt, I mean Agincourt ;) and she’s just the cutest thing I have ever seen.  I love Asian babies.  I sometimes still am an Asian baby!  At least half-Asian anyways.  Seeing my two oldest nieces and my oldest sister was also an amazingly fun time.  Two generations on the family tree below me.  Crazy times ahead. 

1 – Friends

It’s sort of obvious and a no-brainer to me that my favourite thing to do on vacation is spend time with others. Whether it was a beautiful BBQ/house-warming party near Bloordale Village, a late night pool party in Lawrence Park or just drinking some herbal tea with a dear soul near Deer Park, the colour of my life would be grey without the splash of vibrancy only friends can bring.  Singing, listening, laughing, telling really bad jokes together, or just sitting on the couch at home with another, all of the things on this list embody this friendship.  Be they new or old, business or personal, my world and the joy I get in it comes from my connection to all of you. 

In yoga we have a word we use called sangha which means ‘community’.  It also refers to “a community of people supporting each other as individuals on a unique mission to find our true nature”.  I am really glad that I am in a place in my life now that I have found this collection of incredible, vivid, inspiring, loving, supportive people who are in my life and are leading engaging and effective lives themselves.  So my life, just like my city, has become this richly interwoven masterpiece and one would not exist without the other. 

If you are planning a holiday, have it right where you are.  Plan time to do things you want to get done nearby and invite all those you appreciate to spend it with you.  It’s amazing how much fun life can be when you invite many other friends to share it with you.  I look forward to my next vacation already.  The creative energy is already flowing with new ideas!

Metta

This article first appeared on the blog Socially Fit.

Meet Daniel Uy. A yogi by trade and fun-loving guy by nature. Very funny and honest. There is one thing that makes him stand out (other than his awesome personality), and that is the fact that he is HIV+. He has been living with the virus for fifteen years. Through yoga, fitness, and overall well-being he has reclaimed his life and here he is sharing his story.

I wasn’t an adult very long before HIV.  I was never the modicum of vitality.  I ate a lot and was extremely nervous.  I was going out to gay bars for the first time and had only recently began to drink and smoke.  It was a confusing, awkward, and uncomfortable time with a mouth as big as an ocean and an ego to match. Also with the frailties of one who feels unworthy.  Know what it’s like to be with someone who is afraid everyone is better than him so he tries so hard to put you down to lift themself up?  Yeah, I was that guy.  I was fun at parties, but only under the influence.

Once I found out that I was HIV+, it was a relief! I had been thinking about killing myself from a very young age and into my teens. It was good to know I had an end date and it was hopefully going to be soon.  I also remember watching my family doctor, that I’d been with since I was a teenager, who was the one who broke the news to me, cry in front of me.  He also said words that I have never forgotten “It doesn’t matter how this happened, we are just going to take care of it”. I am truly blessed to have surrounded myself with non-judgemental people in my life.  It was a mixed response.  He told me, “we’ll take care of it” and at the same time I was happy to know I might be dead soon. That should let you know where I was at that point in my life.

I really felt included when I began yoga. I have never been the model of physical health.  I was a fat kid growing up and actually did manage to lose a bunch of weight when I came out of the closet at 20 years old (going from 260-220 lbs). The only time I have ever been thin was when I was on the descent towards having full-blown AIDS at 27 and weighing in at 145 lbs. I felt safe in a yoga studio and in the practice room.  The postures themselves were not that difficult and you didn’t have to do them for long.  I started in hot yoga so you sweat, A LOT!  I remember standing in tree pose with my hands in prayer and sweat dripping down each elbow and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “God!  I’m such an athlete!!”

The funny thing is I have just never really considered yoga to be a workout.  It was a spiritual journey and I had a lot of questions!  Somehow that made it easier to do.  Since it’s easy to do, maybe I could do it too and it grew from there. Postures evolved, sequences and poses have ballooned to include things that I think are beyond my human abilities but still in my mind, it doesn’t count as hard or impossible, just something in this journey I may not have figured out quite yet.  I really hope from now until the day I leave this plane of existence, there are still many postures that were on that list I was “working” towards.

Although it was the physical that brought me onto the mat, it was, in itself not enough to keep me there.  I started to “wake up”.  I became aware of things, and in the beginning, some of these revelations were so overwhelming that I couldn’t process them.

There was a family gathering about 4-5 months after I started yoga and there was an argument at the table. As it was happening I became incredibly aware of my breath. It was like it got louder in my head and the fight in front of me got quieter.  It was the first time that I can remember where I was calm in a heated discussion.  It felt like I had superpowers or something.  I wanted to know more about that.

Being HIV+ means that the veil and illusion that life will last forever is gone.  No fairy tales.  No make-believe world.  This sh*t is real!  Where I am today is where I am today.  It may not be like this ever again.  It could be gone, it could get better or worse. I am an optimist and most may not see this as optimistic, but there is an incredible beauty in that.

Right now I am the strongest and most fit that I have ever been in my entire existence in this physical shell.  There was a time when I was so weak and frail I could not stand or walk ten feet without fainting.  All we have is this one breath.  Right here.  Right now.  Inhale.  Exhale.  And being here right now, in this moment, is the best place that one can be.  Other problems and worries fade away when one stays grounded in this moment.  Close your eyes and take a full breath, in and out right now and savour it.  I can wait.

I would like to think that I am in a place now where I can make a positive impact on the HIV community at large.  I have never considered myself an activist.  I am more of a lazivist!  Up until last year, I had never “officially” stood out publicly as being HIV+.  Everyone in my family knew, friends knew, employers and co-workers knew, but never my students or the average person.  I remember when I was writing my bio for my website, www.danieluy.com, and I was sitting with the “how did I get into yoga” question and couldn’t avoid the HIV thing.  I remember going should I or shouldn’t I when it came to disclosing.  This was my question I was sitting with one week where I had made the decision that on Friday I would choose and that would be that.  That very week I met not one, but two other yoga teachers that are HIV+ and both fairly new in their diagnosis.  Hearing their stories it became quite apparent that the only question I was asking myself was “How could I not disclose it?”  This became much less about facing my fears and much more about helping to alleviate theirs.  If and when I ever question or doubt myself, I think of them and others right now suffering in silence.

It was also around this time that I happened to meet Brian Finch, Founder of PositiveLite.com, Canada’s Online HIV Magazine.  Since I had already been writing some things for my own website, I thought perhaps maybe I could share some information to others like myself.  I mentioned that I don’t know how professional I’d be.  It’s been ages since I’ve worked in a 9-5 business setting, but they wanted my voice and style as is. Since August 2011, I’ve had articles posted, about twice a month.  I have really come to love them.  Through that I have been able to make new connections within the HIV community and help, one on one, some guys and gals on this journey.  

A friend of mine reminded me a few months ago, people need to see that there is someone who has been going through this serious medical thing for 15 years, yet can still remain healthy and physically capable alongside some of the city’s best teachers despite it.  I had never thought of that before.  Sometimes it’s great to have someone on the outside remind me of what I really do.  My favourite quote is from Ghandi, “My life is my message.”  It’s that simple.  If you want to see what I’m passionate about and believe in, watch me and you’ll see it.

I could probably do more.  If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to e-mail me! Recently I was speaking with a friend about the idea of trying to incorporate yoga fundamentals into a workshop style practice/meditation for people in the AIDS Community and AIDS Service Organizations (ASO’s for short).  I haven’t figured it all out completely but I really see it as being something that would have me travelling to different areas and communities as well as helping my brothers and sisters tap into something that I have been able to reach as well.

I think I have been fortunate to have been spared much of the insanity of the misconceptions and fears of others.  It’s either that or I have an incredibly short-term memory so I don’t recall much anymore.  It’s getting close to half my life living with HIV, so I forget.  Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between what is HIV and what is simply growing old.

I would be naive to say that the fears do not exist.  I have a friend that said they’re ok with me having it, but then later I learned that if they ever went on a date with someone who was, they wouldn’t see them again.  That hurts.  Because I know what that kind of rejection feels like.  It’s like you’re a leper – untouchable and unlovable.  And it can sting.  On the flip side, if the situation was reversed, I may possibly act in the same manner.  We’ll never really know.  One thing I do know is that if someone is on HIV meds and their Viral Load is undetectable, and sexual protection is used, the chances of passing it onto someone else are quite small. There’s a debate right now in the Supreme Court of Canada on Disclosure discussing this topic in great lengths.

As I mentioned, being who I am, and the size that I am, it has been quite rare that I have ever had to deal with overt judgement or discrimination based on my HIV status.  Having said that, there is one place I taught (I’m no longer there anymore by my own choice on a different matter) that had a meeting and seriously discussed firing me because I had mentioned I was HIV+ and they didn’t feel I would be capable as a hot yoga teacher.  It turned out I was the most popular teacher in that space until my departure. With the proper medication and lifestyle, the average life expectancy right now for someone who is HIV+ is now 75 years.  HIV- people’s life expectancy is 82.  We are not that different at all. 

Right now, I am currently starting each day reminding myself of the word “Enough”.  That I am enough and that there is enough.  I sometimes allow my fears to drive me into doing and saying things I normally wouldn’t because of not being good enough, having enough, making enough, or being strong enough.  Today, right now, I am enough and I have enough, period.

As for my future, I would like to get married.  Maybe write some more, perhaps a novel or series of short stories.  Physically, I want to get Ashtanga Vinyasa Primary Series nailed down and be on the Secondary Series by the end of 2012.  There I said it.  I hope my teachers read that because I’m going to need help!  I want to own a home in the city and hopefully get to a place in my career which allows me more freedom to practice and play in my other pursuits.  I would love to spend more time fire-spinning, learning to cook, learning to dance, or tea drink my afternoons away with good friends around me.  

Strength is something much more than a physical measurement.  It comes from someplace inside.  It fuels you even when your body is spent and everyone around you says you cannot go on and you are done.  Strength is not fighting and destroying everything you come up against.  Strength is standing unarmed in front of an army moving tanks and declaring that they cannot and will not go any further.  What are you willing to stand for?