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The Latest Stories By Brian Finch

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  • Just too lazy

Brian Finch

Brian Finch

Brian Finch, founder and publisher of Positive Lite. I've had a blog since 2005 when I decided one day that I just wanted to write. Since then I've grown to writing for a local Toronto magazine, Fab, and contribute to

I first went public in the 1980s, and with the exception of a few years of taking a break, have not really stopped. Life is an evolution, and for the last six years I've brought everyone along for the ride, the good, the bad & the ugly.

Today I share stories of my lastest recarnation of life of a publisher, traveler, recovery, a new relationship, my three-pound Chihuahua Hildy, converting to Judaism and where ever else my journey takes me.


Just too lazy

Monday, 03 November 2014 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

Brian Finch says "Getting laid is so easy, yet I’m too lazy to do it. Even jerking off seems like a bother."

Just too lazy

I used to joke on stage while doing standup to very straight audiences about how easy it is to get laid. I met this guy and I asked him if he wanted to be a fuck buddy and he said sure. Thats how easy it is and exactly how lazy I am. 

Sport fucking doesnt seem to be my thing anymore. Looking baqck, Ive been in more places where Ive walked in stripped, did it, and then left than I can remember. Its somewhere in between the fast-food experience of the baths and having a live flesh sex doll to use. 

I call those visits drive-by shootings.My advice has always been to make sure you plan these moments in the areas where you need to do your errands. That way if its a total bust, you can still remain productive by picking up your groceries and dry cleaning. 

I used to pride myself on the fact that I had I had fucked someone in every apartment tower or hotel in downtown Toronto. With all the new condos going up, I will have to pass that torch on to the next generation 

Getting back from a three month trip in Tel Aviv last May, I experienced a bit of a cultural shock. I hated being in Toronto, and I wasnt feeling too keen on some of this city's inhabitants. 

Then a few weeks later a car accident happened. We drove into a bunch of cars and we not only flipped on our side leaving me hanging on the passengers side, the vehicle was totalled. Nobody was seriously hurt, although strapped to one of those boards to go to emergency resulted in a claustrophobic panic at one point. (This was the point when I realized I was getting too old for bondage.) 

After that night I waked around for a few days in shock-induced fog. I lost my motivation for most of everything and slept a lot. This took some time to work though. Finally a month later I started getting some help with a chiropractor and massage. Physically I was starting to feel better. 

To enhance my energy I began using testosterone gel. Not only does it give me energy, I began to start saying.Im so horny right now I could fuck a door if it was fact that door over there Im finding really distracting right now." 

My fingers typed in my browser the name of one bareback hook-up site, and I was set to go. I hooked up with maybe two guys. 

Casually after making myself a coffee I turned on Facebook to find out my grandmother in Winnipeg was in the hospital and was not going to be getting out. Two days after arriving she passed away and I stayed long enough to get to the funeral. I was exhausted, the trip was overwhelming. But I did it. 

When I got back from Winnipeg I felt completely disoriented. What little of a routine I had was gone. I missed my family, and had to process what just happened over the last couple of weeks. 

Once back, I met up with my one fuck-buddy, a hearing-impaired fellow. That was a strange experience as his hearing-impaired female roommate was home in the bedroom next to his. The weird part is seeing her in the hallway giving a wave hello after the deed was done. 

That was about two and half months ago. 

Suddenly I was stricken with a minor attack of prostatitis. These are the joys of approaching fifty, but I couldnt help wonder if there was any connection to the barebacking since this was about a week later. 

I ask my gay doctor, Could this be related to having bareback sex?"

Why, did your prostrate get a good pounding?

I laughed and replied, No it was more like I was the pounder." (Yes you can own a chihuahua and still be a top.) 

Highly unlikely that it is.  he said.

Phew, thats at least one thing I didnt have to worry about. 

I had to start a six-week course of antibiotics that are causing the worst insomnia Ive ever had. Whatever routine I could pull together is now lost in sleepy days and watching a lot of TV. I stopped the testosterone as it could be affecting my sleep. There was no semblance of sex drive. 

Sexual anorexia is settling in again. Winter SADS is insidiously creeping in resulting in the need to up my anti-depressant and my SAD light season officially arrived with the addition of vitamins D andB12. Im well versed in dealing with the dark days of winter. 

Now Im done with the antibiotics. Everything has settled down. Im back on the testosterone and open doors are starting to look inviting again. 

And, ironically, I just received an email about how I have to log into my sex site due to inactivity or it will be deactivated. 

I call that serendipity.